Love Letters
by NikkylovesBD
Summary: It's about a man and a woman that are in love for a lifetime. Will not follow the original show exactly or the actual play Love Letters even though the idea did stem from it. Strictly a Brenda and Dylan romance story.
1. Chapter 1

_Here is my new story. It's been an idea of mine for a couple months or so but since I was working on my other stories I decided to put it on the back burner. With Coming Home finished, Long Time Coming slowly dwindling down, I decided I can't really put my full head into Little Fish and continue with anything else until I start this. I have worked out the beginning in my head for so long that it was driving me crazy. Anyway here it is, Love Letters, you will notice right away when it takes place and it wont follow the actual storylines from the original for the most part. There may be some stuff but overall it probably wont. The idea is also taken from the play Love Letters, if anyone is familiar with it but it will not be the same either. Also this is a strictly Brenda and Dylan story, the other characters will be brought up every now and then but they wont be a major part of anything. It will go back and forth between Brenda's POV and Dylan's. I hope you like it. _

**_Love Letters_**

"**It's About a Man and A Woman…That Are In Love For A Lifetime."**

**Chapter 1 The Test**

It had been a nice summer in London, it was a far cry from the 80 to 90 degree summers she was used to in Beverly Hills but Brenda had been so busy with classes and a new city she hardly missed it. Every once in awhile she would think about what the gang was doing, if they were at the Beach club working on their tans or playing volleyball, only then she would miss it. But London was amazing, Brenda had made friends in her summer program, she for once was actually enjoying classes and she hadn't been that home sick to her surprise. When Brenda arrived at the University of Minnesota the year before, she had been home sick the minute she got off the plane. To her surprise she hadn't felt like that at all when she arrived in London at the start of the summer. Then again Brenda was different this time. A year ago she was still part of the close knit gang, they had spent the summer together, working at the beach club and hanging out, but her freshman year at CU had proved different. She found herself maturing and more introverted. She had taken the year to find herself and Brenda thought she had. When leaving for London, it felt different, the group was the same, maybe even closer but the difference was Brenda didn't feel part of it. Sure everyone was friendly and nice but it was different. And she found herself Brandon's sister again. The only person that she felt home with was Dylan. They had really gotten closer that year as friends. Dylan had proven he still cared about her and would do anything for her. He had told her she saved him and changed him and made him feel whole. Well that first year at CU Dylan had returned the favor. Sure the feelings were still there, she still saw the sparkle in his dark eyes that she had seen the years before when they were together but they had stayed platonic and really just grew up. Until that one night. Brenda had gone over to Dylan's that night with the intention of telling him exactly how she felt about him. The timing was perfect considering he and Kelly had broken up and she knew she was leaving for the summer and it would be the perfect test. If they could survive the summer without each other again and return to each other at the start of the school year Brenda would know it was for real this time. Brenda was nervous going over there that night even though she felt him breaking. The wall that they had put up was gently starting to crumble. They had spend the night before at the carnival as more than friends really. They rode the rides, laughed, Dylan had won her stuffed animals and looked at her like he used to. The had shared a few moments, lingering looks, Dylan even held her hand. They didn't talk about anything but that night was different than the rest of the year because Dylan and Brenda didn't hold back. They danced, they hugged, it was Brenda and Dylan again. They may have been apart but it was apparent they were in each other's hearts and nothing really had changed besides a mutual respect for each other that would only come with friendship, love and from each other.

_Brenda stood there and looked at him. She caught his eyes lower themselves as they traced down her body and back up meeting her stare again._

"_I want more than your applause." Brenda walked closer to him, keeping her eyes locked on his. She found herself more confident, older, more distinguished. Less afraid of rejection and more secure in the love she had for him. _

_Brenda heard Dylan breathe a bit heavier as he nervously left her gaze only to return to it a second later. _

"_I wont be gone forever Dylan…Give me something to come back to."_

_Brenda stared into his eyes as she felt his arms slowly one at a time wrap around her waist. Without saying a word Dylan tilted his head to the side and leaned in and kissed her. Brenda brought her hand to his neck as the kiss heated up. They slowly lowered themselves to the futon as Dylan moved her to her back, covering her with his body. He slowly brought his hand up caressing her thigh pushing her long skirt up. The couch was their place and it felt exactly like it used to. Brenda felt his kisses drop down to her neck as she felt him unstuck her shirt. His touch was electric it had been so long since she felt it, really felt it against her abdomen, cupping her breast, grabbing at her hips. Brenda pushed him up gently with her body so they were in a sitting position. Dylan looked at her curiously, at first he thought she was changing her mind but as he looked into her eyes she slowly stood up and took his hand. She led him into his bedroom without saying a word. She turned around and looked at him. His stare was intense and he finally gave her a small smile. She smiled back as she crossed her arms in front of her taking the bottom of her shirt and pulling it above her head. Her eyes didn't leave his as she tossed it to the floor. Brenda reached behind her and unzipped the small zipper on her skirt and it quickly dropped to the floor. As Dylan watched her undress he began unbuttoning his shirt, slowly exposing his chest. Soon after stripping his pants to the ground as well. He watched Brenda take a deep breath seeing her tense up. He slowly walked over to her wrapping his arms gently around her waist and pulling her against him. Dylan leaned down and began kissing her again, her lips felt soft, her tongue felt gentle, he had missed kissing her. There were so many times he thought of it. He had even dreamed of her a few times, waking up next to Kelly and feeling badly about having such dreams about his ex-girlfriend when he himself had chosen to be without her. Dylan laid her gently on the bed and continued to kiss her, touch her, feel her skin against his. No matter how many women Dylan had been with it was always different with her. They made love, slowly and passionately. It felt like both of them had been holding back for so long, the longing, the sexual tension between them was being released and so was their hesitation. Brenda felt Dylan stop in the middle and look down at her. He hadn't said anything to her yet._

"_I missed you so much. I have dreamt about being with you again…I have never felt this close to someone before." Dylan whispered as he looked into her eyes. "I do still love you…you know that right?"_

_Brenda nodded slowly taking his lips to hers as they began to move together again. _

"Brenda?" her roommate said again.

Brenda shook her head quickly waking up out of her daydream, "huh…what?" Brenda looked at Olivia confused.

Olivia laughed, "What's with you? I have been calling your name for like 5 minutes."

"Sorry…just spacing, its just one of those days I guess."

"Fair enough." Olivia said with a smile, "You want to come grab a bite with me, Kenny and Michelle?"

"No…I am good…thanks though." Brenda sat up from her bed.

"Are you thinking about him?" Olivia face went from smiling to serious.

Brenda took a deep breath and nodded, "Going home next week is a bit nerve wracking. I mean…I guess I am just scared that's all."

"Have you talked to him?" Olivia moved and sat next to her.

"No, I haven't talked to him in a month. I keep calling but no answer." Brenda looked down sadly. This was the test, they went from talking every day to once a week and now Brenda hadn't heard from Dylan at all. She had asked her brother about him but he hadn't seen him, which was more of a relief to Brandon considering him and Kelly had been seeing each other and they had moved quickly from friends to serious relationship within a weekend. They had spent the entire summer together and Brandon had even taken her back to Minnesota to meet the family and spend some of the summer with them.

"I am sure he is thinking about you…didn't you say he goes down to Mexico all the time, or that his mom lives in Hawaii, he probably just knows you are busy with classes and he is just trying to keep busy waiting for you to come home." Olivia smiled and rubbed down her back as she got up, "You sure you don't want to come?"

Brenda nodded with a smile, "Yeah I am sure, thanks though."

"Anytime." Olivia gave her a small wave as she left their dorm room.

Brenda looked down and exhaled, she looked over at her phone. She picked it up again dialing the operator and placing the fifth collect call to Dylan she had made that week.

"I am sorry miss…there is no answer, would you like to leave a message?"

"Yeah." Brenda swallowed hard as she listened to Dylan's voice on his machine.

"Hey Dylan…its me…I don't know where you are, you starting to make me nervous. Call me when you can, whatever time, I just really want to hear your voice." Brenda sat quiet for several seconds. "I miss you, I cant stop thinking about you and I cant believe I am coming home next week already. Call me back baby…love you…bye." Brenda set the phone on the hook as she flopped back on her bed again looking at the ceiling.

**

Dylan slowly brought the corona to his lips and he tilted back finishing off his 6th beer that morning. Dylan had been so disappointed with himself he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror. He was a drunk again and it had happened so fast this time he didn't even remember when it really happened besides the news he had received. He had lost his money…his sister…his livelihood. He had spent the last month in Baja, getting drunk, drowning his sorrows in different bars every night. He wanted to drown his sorrows in different women every night but no matter how drunk he had gotten, he still thought about her. He was ashamed, he was ashamed because he let her down. She would be home from London soon and he was like this. She had opened up her heart to him again, she truly had forgiven him for all the mistakes he had made and now he was about to disappoint her again. Dylan had found out about his money and Erica shortly after Brenda had left for London. He never told her about it, thinking it would only cause her to worry about him and at first besides the anger, betrayal and sadness his sister wasn't around he had thought he would be okay. He had hired a private investigator, who had tracked them in Brazil. It looked like things were looking up until a month ago, the investigator told Dylan he had lost them. The banks they had set up were closed, the house they were living in was sold, Erica had been pulled out of school and they had literally vanished from sight. Dylan hit the bottle hard then and before he knew it he was a full blown drunk again.

"Uno más, por favor" Dylan swayed looking at the bartender.

"No más Dylan, que ha tenido suficiente." the bartender denied his request for another beer.

"Suficiente." Dylan smirked _enough?_ he thought, "You have no idea."

"Go to your room…sleep, you come back tomorrow." the bartender spoke his broken English. "Usted nos debe dinero, no más de cerveza." the bartender put his foot down. Dylan owed him more money than he had.

"Money…its always about dinero. Everyone is the same." Dylan got up and lost his balance. He muttered some cuss words at the man in Spanish and staggered back to his room. Dylan was so drunk it was surprising he was even able to find his room, which he was a week late in paying for. As he stumbled into his room he flopped down on the bed, his face hitting the comforter hard. He moaned as the room began to lightly spin. How did he let himself get this way? At the start of the summer he had everything he had ever wanted. He had a family, a sister in which he adored, he had finished freshman year with decent grades and he had her back. He had never wanted anything more and he had everything. Now he had nothing, and even though technically he knew he still had her he knew once she saw him this way he wouldn't have her forever. She would take one look at him and hate him all over again.

_Dylan laid in his sleeping bag with his eyes closed. He knew it was time to get up but he didn't want to. She stirred a little and he tightened his grip around her. He heard her moan quietly and stretch. _

"_This is really nice." Brenda whispered to him._

"_Yeah." Dylan whispered back moving his face into the back of her hair and gently kissing it. "Are you warm enough?"_

_Brenda giggled turning herself in the sleeping bag they were sharing, she leaned in and kissed him, "I am…cause I'm with you." she said sweetly. "I should probably go soon though."_

"_Please…not yet, just stay with me for a little while longer." Dylan took a deep breath and looked at her, "It's going to be hard letting you go, I know you deserve this chance and it's your dream but I just got you back." _

_Brenda lifted her hand to his face, "I know…its only for the summer and you know you could come and visit me." She wiggled her nude body even closer to him, "I'll sneak you into my dorm room." she whispered seductively with a smile._

"_Well that might be arranged." Dylan smirked leaning in and kissing her hard. _

_Dylan knew Brenda was leaving the following day and he had invited her to camp out down at the beach together as their last official night together before she left for the summer program at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. It had been a week since Brenda professed her love to Dylan and since then they had spent every day together with a few overnight visits in there as well. They had eased into a relationship quite easily considering the amount of time they had spent apart. They were older now, more mature and they had nothing stopping them. Jim had toned down and was oblivious to where Brenda was staying most nights, Kelly had disappeared and there was nothing stopping them from being the couple they once were besides a summer apart…again._

_Dylan had gotten his way with Brenda, she knew she had to go, but it didn't take much persuading from Dylan to go for round two that morning. Sex with Dylan was better than she had ever remembered it. He knew exactly what drove her crazy and she could tell by his reactions she did it to him as well. _

_Brenda moaned out quietly still recovering, "Was it always this amazing? _

_Brenda felt Dylan nod as he pressed the side of his face against hers. "Yeah…you and I were always this good together." he said quietly with his eyes closed._

"_How am I going to live without you…without this feeling all summer."_

"_There are always telephones." Dylan was only half joking._

_Brenda laughed, "Not the same thing at all."_

_Dylan laughed, " I know. You are going to have an amazing time in London, you'll see…and when your done being amazing and learning how to be an even more incredible actress than you already are, you'll come back to me and we will take off exactly where we left off. Please don't worry about this summer, I wont do anything to screw this up. You are the one I want to be with. I love you Bren." _

"_I love you too." Brenda whispered. She sat up slowly as Dylan did as well. They didn't care they only had one sleeping bag, being that close to each other was all they wanted. Brenda looked at him, Dylan saw the love but he saw something else too._

"_Brenda…you have nothing to worry about. I am not going anywhere…I know our relationship has never thrived on long distance but its different now. I want you and only you and nothing is going to change that or change the fact that you and me are going to be together come fall. I promise." Dylan leaned in resting his forehead against hers, "ok?"_

_Brenda nodded. "ok."_

Dylan wiped his face as he felt a tear escape from his eye, Dylan broke his promise, so much had changed, he had screwed up again. Was it possible to get his shit together before Brenda came home? She helped him through it before would she now? Everything may have changed around him but his feelings had not. His love for her had not.

_So that was the first chapter of Love Letters, I am sure you guys don't really know where I am with this but you will soon find out. Please review! If you guys aren't liking it or intrigued then there isn't a point in writing. xoxox_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 My New Home**

Brenda carried her books into the dorm hall. She had finished her last final and scene and she was done with the summer program, home was only 2 days away. It was a relief and she had an amazing experience at RADA, she had learned so much more than she ever would have learned at CU and had met directors, producers and some of theatre's finest professors. The classes were small and personal, she had done three performances to spice up her resume and really felt as though she had grown as a woman and as an actress. It was going to be hard to leave it all but even though she hadn't talked to Dylan yet she couldn't wait to see him. Brenda walked up to the front desk with a smile.

"Hey Mike." Brenda said happily, "Just picking up my mail, do I have anything?"

"Oh hey Brenda…yeah looks like something from the Dean and from home." Mike smiled handing over her 2 pieces of mail. "You coming out tonight?"

"We'll see…I am done with finals and could use a little fun but I have a room to pack up before they kick me out, maybe I'll see you later." Mike smiled at her as she walked up the stairs to her room.

Brenda sat on her bed and tossed the letter from the Dean to the side as she recognized the handwriting right away on the one from home. Brenda was ecstatic as she realized Dylan finally had written her. At that moment she didn't care she hadn't heard from him in a month or he hadn't returned any of her phone calls. She tore the letter open quickly and unfolded it gently resting her back against her pillow.

_Bren,_

_How's my girl doing? God I miss you. I had a dream about you the other night and it seemed so real I woke up looking beside me thinking you were actually there. Your pillow doesn't smell like you anymore and you feel so far away. I spend a lot of time alone just thinking and I started writing again. Mostly just short poems and quick stuff that pops into my head. The gang is carrying on with their business, Donna and David broke up, Kelly has dropped off the face of the earth but it's a relief. Your brother I believe is in Minnesota which you probably know and Steve, well last I heard he was in or going to Hawaii with Celeste. So there is the 411 with everyone but more importantly how are you?_

Brenda looked up confused; Brandon went to Minnesota over a month ago. How old is this letter? She looked down continuing to read.

_I am counting down the month that I get to see you again, hold you, feel your lips against mine, be with you. No sex is not all I think about, I know what you're thinking._

Brenda smiled biting the inside of her lip, he knew her so well it was scary.

_I just miss you that's all, all of you. Anyway I hope all is well and you're learning your little ass off. Great now I am thinking about your ass. Sorry, one month to go, I can't wait to see your ass uh…you. Ok I am done (laughing to myself like an idiot) I love you._

_Dylan_

Brenda smiled and sighed with a dreamy expression on her face. In two days she would be back in his arms and there was nothing Brenda wanted more at this point. Brenda assumed the delay in letter was just because of the international mail system. Once Brenda had written a letter and it had taken 2 weeks to get to him. She guessed this time took even longer but she was relieved and happy she had heard from him. Brenda took a deep breath and glanced at the letter from school and opened it. _It's probably thanking me for being a part of the summer program, _Brenda thought. As she read through the letter, her mouth dropped in shock. The letter started with Congratulations. Olivia had made her way into the room and threw down her books on her bed.

"Hey….how did your finals go?" Olivia flopped down on her bed and exhaled, "Finally I am done…let's go out tonight for some drinks." Olivia looked curiously at Brenda who had not acknowledged her presence or looked up from the letter.

"Ok Brenda…you have got to stop this. I know…we all know you can act but what's with the you just saw a ghost look every time I see you." Olivia laughed at her own joke but stopped seeing Brenda slowly look up from the letter with a blank expression. "What?"

"Ah…they…" Brenda was speechless.

Olivia took the letter from her and started to read it. She yelled as she jumped up and down, "Oh my God Brenda…this is f-ing amazing!" Olivia was a no nonsense kind of girl from New York. Her family came from money and her father was in the music business. She didn't hold back and was one of the nicest people Brenda had ever met. She was popular and pretty and she knew everyone. "Do you realize how many people they give full scholarships too, like 20...you got a full ride with 19 others out of thousands. You are the luckiest bitch I know and…I don't know anyone who deserves it more than you." Olivia said sincerely "Why aren't you jumping with me, you are staying…with me." Olivia said happily. "You have been invited back, I have never even heard of it."

Brenda sat emotionless as she watched Olivia jump up and down like an idiot. "Stay…in London?" Brenda exhaled as she realized she was holding her breath. "I can't." she shook her head.

Olivia stopped as she looked at Brenda, "What do you mean you can't? Brenda…people don't get full rides and invited to stay and study here. Its unheard of, you have to."

"But Dylan…." Brenda whispered.

Olivia looked at Brenda sadly, "He'll understand, he would want this for you. If he loves you he'll wait for you."

"Wait for me?" Brenda was still muttering words but she was still in shock. She had no intention of staying and studying in London for the rest of her college life. She had even just finished enrolling for her sophomore year at CU. She always looked at the summer program as an opportunity to study with some fine actors, professors and directors but looked at it like it was a summer program.

"Have you even talked to him? I mean would he give up this kind of thing for you? You're 19 years old, you can't give up an opportunity like this because of a guy." Olivia was going to lay it out even if it hurt her.

"I know…I will talk to him…I'll tell him." Brenda nodded. She was nervous, she hadn't talked to him in person and the letter she had received was from a month ago. She already knew what he would tell her. He would tell her to stay, not to plan her future around him. They had been through it before. And even then Brenda did plan her life around him, not applying to Minnesota or even thinking about college without him until they were broken up and still her main reason for leaving even though she never admitted out loud was Kelly and Dylan. What the hell was wrong with her? How was she even considering turning this down? She had dreamed ever since high school of attending RADA and she had her chance. Her dream came true. Olivia was right, she couldn't go back just because of him. That's what her head was saying but her heart was saying she wanted to be with Dylan.

**

Brenda sat patiently waiting for Dylan to answer the phone. "Come on Dylan…where the hell are you?" Brenda mumbled.

"Hey this is Dylan…you know the drill…BEEP"

"Dylan its Brenda…I don't where you are and I am really worried about you. I _have_ to talk to you…its really important…I need you Dylan." Brenda voice was sad and worried.

Brenda set the phone on the hook just to pick it right back up again. She dialed home.

"Talk to me." Brandon answered.

"Brandon."

"Oh hey Bren…How's it going?"

"Hey Bren." Kelly said from the background.

Brenda smiled hearing the familiar voice of her friend.

"Tell Kel hi."

"She said hi." Brandon leaned in and kissed her as Brenda rolled her eyes hearing the kissing sound and Brandon moan slightly. "Ok…gross." Brenda said annoyed yet playful.

"Sorry Bren…what's up? Are you excited to come home?" Brandon laughed as he smacked Kelly in the butt as she walked away.

"Brandon…do you know where Dylan is?" Brenda said worrisome.

"No…I actually tried to call him a few times but no answer, I drove past his house too, all the lights were out and the Porsche isn't there."

Brenda sighed, "I am worried about him Brandon, I haven't talked to him in a month and…"

"Bren I am sure he is fine, he probably went down to Baja or something. I am sure he'll be back in time for you to get home." Brandon lowered his voice, he and his parents knew about Brenda and Dylan getting back together but he hadn't told Kelly. Not as if he was purposely keeping it from her but he thought Brenda or Dylan should be the one. Plus it wasn't like they had been all that honest about their summer either.

Brenda sighed, "They offered me a full scholarship Brandon…I don't know what to do." Her voice cracked with desperation.

"A full ride…Brenda that's incredible, congratulations." Brandon said excitedly.

"Yeah." Brenda breathed out. She sat quiet on the line until Brandon interrupted the millions of thoughts rushing through her head.

"Bren…what?"

"I feel like everyone is excited about this but me and I want it, I do…its just…" Brenda hesitated.

"Brenda." Brandon shook his head and even though Brenda didn't see him, she knew he knew why. "You haven't talked to Dylan in a month…don't miss out on this opportunity for someone who is off and on. I mean honestly Bren, he has hurt you enough and I know you love him, I do…I just don't think you should miss out on this."

Brenda sighed as she quietly cried, she felt the tear roll down her cheek quickly.

"Bren…don't cry." Brandon said sadly.

Brenda let out a small laugh wiping her face, "Must be a twin thing huh?" Brenda tried to smile.

"Of course. It will be fine, you'll see. If Dylan loves you like he said he did, maybe he will come there. Or pay for those frequent flyer miles to get your butt out here." Brandon tried to make her feel better.

"Yeah." Brenda breathed out, "It s good thing. I know." Brenda nodded to herself agreeing with herself.

"Definitely…you want to talk to Kel, she just came in and is staring at me holding out her hand."

"Yeah." Brenda wiped her nose.

"K."

"Brandon?" Brenda said quickly hoping he was still able to hear her.

"Yeah Bren."

"Talk to him for me, tell him I am sorry…make sure he's ok."

"I will Bren, I promise."

"Ok…I miss you, I will call you next week once I get settled. Love you."

"Love you too Bren…here is Kelly." Brandon handled over the phone.

"Hey Bren…when do you get in, we should plan a welcome home thing or something…get together…"

"Kel." Brenda interrupted, "They offered me a scholarship and invited me back to stay here." Brenda kept her voice chipper.

"Wow." Kelly said taken back, "That's great." Kelly's voice wasn't enthusiastic.

"Don't jump and down or anything." Brenda joked.

"No…I am happy for you, I am just sad. I was looking forward to you coming back." Kelly took a deep breath, "I know its stupid, I was just kind of hoping, with all the Dylan stuff behind us we could get back what we had."

"I know…we will. I mean when you marry my brother and become part of our family, I am going to have to like you right?" Brenda smiled into the phone.

Kelly laughed, "True." She looked at Brandon and smiled, "Well be safe and keep in touch ok? Have some fun…is there anyone? Any handsome Brits with sexy accents keeping you warm at night or at least in the picture?" Kelly smirked.

"Well…no English boys no…but maybe someone, but I haven't talked to him in a month so its probably over."

"Well then he is a jerk and if he doesn't have the sexy accent then there is no point."

Brenda forced a smile even though she knew Kelly couldn't see it, "Alright Kel, say hi to Donna and everyone…I'll miss you guys and I will let Brandon know my new address or number if there is one, tell my parents I will call them later."

"Ok Bren…have fun."

"I will try…oh Kelly…take care of my brother for me okay?"

"Happily." Kelly said with a smirk.

"I don't want to know." Brenda shook her head, "Alright…take care…Bye." Brenda swallowed hard turning the phone to off. She took a deep breath. She dialed Dylan again only to get his answering machine again. She hung up this time. She didn't want to leave a message about staying. And she wasn't even sure he would care. He hadn't called in a long time. Even if he was in Baja or in Hawaii he would have called. Brenda really truly believed he would have. Brenda laid back on her bed taking the letter Dylan had wrote her in her hand. She read it over and it still brought a smile to her face. She looked at the ceiling and exhaled. She slowly got up and walked the short distance to her desk and sat down. If she couldn't get a hold of him or if he didn't want to talk to her, fine, she was going to do this the old fashioned way. Because regardless of what Dylan was thinking, she had things she wanted to get out. So Brenda began to write, she didn't care if she was stupid or if the letter came out emotional and heartbreaking or some lame apology for staying even though she wasn't sure he would care.

_Dear Dylan…_

_Here is chapter 2 to Love Letters. I am sure you guys figured this much that Brenda would not come home. This story will be different than anything I have ever written or even seen on here. There will be letters obviously considering the title and some chapters may consist of just that. Some will explore a little into the outside world and what's going on individually. Anyway I hope the sound of Brenda and Dylan writing letters doesn't scare you away. I plan to bring lots of emotional, heart, comedy, sadness into the letters and ultimately I am hoping to make a good love story out of this. If you guys have not read the actual play Love Letters, I highly recommend it, its short and SOOO GOOD. It will make you ball your eyes out though. Anyway, if you have and are familiar with the play, don't worry this will have a happy ending. It has to right? What's the point of B/D fanfic without one…Anyway enough rambling…Review Review review!!! Oh and remember Mike, he may or may not be important to this story. He is the mail man for God Sakes or at least so to speak ;P_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 Welcome Home**

Dylan dragged his tired butt out of his Porsche. He had actually stayed sober for the four hour drive home from Mexico, all he needed was a DUI. Dylan grabbed his surfboard and duffle bag out of the car and looked down on the passenger seat. He took a deep breath and eyed the 6 pack he had gotten at the liquor store close to his house. He really had tried not too but found himself paying for it before he even realized it. He grabbed it quickly taking his things into his house. He stepped over all the mail that had been pushed through his mail slot dropping his belongings to the floor, keeping the beers in his hand and setting them gently on his mail table. He glanced down at the answering machine, the red light blinked and the glowing light read 12 message. He reached for a beer as his calendar caught his eye. He stared at the 1st of August. A small smile crept across his face, the first genuine one he had done in a long time. He took his hand off the beer and brought it across the calendar running his finger across the small box that stared back at him.

"_Where are you going?" Dylan smiled as he watched a naked Brenda climb out of bed grabbing the sheet from Dylan's bed and wrapping it around her shoulders. _

_Brenda went over to his mail table and looked at the calendar. She smiled and grabbed it off the nail and searched for a pen. She started to open drawers making Dylan come out of his bedroom. He looked at her and leaned against the woodwork in his archway separating the dining room from the living room. She looked up at him with a smile and saw him leaning admiring her, standing with his comforter around his waist. _

"_Don't you have a pen?" she said with a smirk._

_Dylan stared at her giving her a small smile moving toward her. He got inches from her face as he reached to the back of the drawer and held up the pen._

"_Thank you." Brenda went to grab it as Dylan pulled it away. Brenda closed her eyes with a smile as she leaned in and kissed him hard, finally giving over the pen._

_Brenda leaned over Dylan's mail table and wrote something on the calendar. She gently stuck it back on the nail and took a step backward next to Dylan._

_Dylan leaned in a little as a smile spread across his face, "August 1st…My Bren comes home." he read out loud. Dylan turned to a smiling Brenda. "It seems like forever." Dylan whispered._

_Brenda brought her hand gently to his face as he looked down sadly, "I know…but just think about how good it will be when I get home."_

"_I wish I could come with you…but with Erica and Suzanne…"_

"_I know." Brenda smiled, knowing how much he cared for his new found family, he adored his sister and Brenda did too. "I am going to get dressed, go home for a bit and do some packing." Brenda began to walk toward the bedroom as Dylan grabbed the sheet pulling her back to him. _

"_Not yet." Dylan wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, kissing her deeply. The sheet and comforter dropped to the floor as Dylan walked her backward. He lifted her slightly and set her on the kitchen table._

_Brenda laughed, "This is definitely unsanitary." she joked._

_Dylan smiled and leaned in opening his mouth and taking her lips with his. "Not yet its not." he smirked._

_Brenda smirked back and she felt him press himself against her, "Ooooo." Brenda teased as Dylan laid her back on the kitchen table, moving himself perfectly on top of her in between her legs._

Dylan looked down before looking over at the table. _Brenda had been home for 5 days_, Dylan thought. _She is probably wondering what the hell happened to me. _Dylan had already thought about it on the way home. He had planned to stop drinking, tell her everything and just hope she would still love him and forgive him for the slip up and just be there for him…like she always had. Dylan reached for his phone but realized it was too late to call the Walsh house. He pressed play on her answering machine instead. He listened to the first 2 messages, they were bill collectors and Dylan was late on his credit cards. Dylan went for the beer as he dragged himself to the futon and sat down. He leaned forward on his knees shaking his head as he continued to listen.

"Hey baby…haven't heard from you in a week so I had a break between class and rehearsal and wanted to hear your voice. I miss you…you better be being good." Dylan swallowed hard and looked toward the ground. He knew Brenda meant girls but he thought beers. As he held the beer in his hand he couldn't for the life of him take a sip while Brenda's voice echoed through his living room.

"This message is for Dylan McKay…I have been assigned to the your case, I am Tyler Benson, give me a call, Larry, your last P.I. moved to Switzerland. Anyway lets touch base…310-555-8896."

"What's the point Tyler." Dylan mumbled and now was able to drink, bringing the beer to his lips. He sat leaning forward gently peeling the label off his beer. There were hang ups, and more bill collectors, finally a familiar voice.

"Hey Dylan…its me…I don't know where you are, you're starting to make me nervous. Call me when you can, whatever time, I just really want to hear your voice." Brenda sat quiet for several seconds. "I miss you, I cant stop thinking about you and I cant believe I am coming home next week already. Call me back baby…love you…bye."

Hang up…hang up…

"Dylan its Brenda…I don't where you are and I am really worried about you. I _have_ to talk to you…its really important…I need you Dylan."

Dylan's face turned toward the machine, he didn't like her tone. It was sad and worried and there was just something he didn't like about it.

"Yo D…August 5th, Brenda asked me to call and leave a message, I guess she has been trying to call, leaving messages and I guess she wrote a letter or something…I don't know…anyway Brenda did not come home last week. They gave her a full scholarship to RADA so she is staying in London for the whole year. She said she will try you again on the weekend. Am I a good messenger or what? Where are you dude…call me sometime…later."

Dylan sat stunned as he stared at the machine. He picked up the beer and took a sip. "I will not be in London forever." Dylan shook his head as he looked toward the floor, "August 1st…my Bren comes home….yeah right." Dylan mumbled. Once the message registered once again in his head he took his beer bottle and chucked it across the room. The beer bottle hit the rock fireplace making a loud noise and shattering in a million pieces.

"Dylan…this is your mother…isn't it just like you to finally call me after you lost all your dad's money…money I never touched. How could you of been so stupid…" Dylan angrily got up stumbling a little as he grabbed the answering machine pushing it to the floor as the cord came out from the wall.

Dylan stared at the machine on the floor. Dylan was ready to lose it, he rubbed his face and took a deep breath. He noticed an envelope, he couldn't make out what is said exactly but he recognized her writing anywhere. Part of him didn't want to know…he didn't want to read it but then the other part of him was so lost as to why this was happening to him when he needed her more now than ever before. After a minute of contemplating Dylan bent down and picked up the envelope off the floor. He slowly and sadly walked over to his futon and sat down. He looked up hesitating, taking his index finger and running it across the envelope, breaking the seal. Dylan unfolded the letter and began to read.

_Dear Dylan,_

_I don't know how I am going to do this. I don't know how you could do this. I love you so God damn much it pisses me off. I have no idea where you are and I guess I have to accept that fact that maybe we didn't pass the test this summer. Maybe it was something we both just got really caught up in and there is just too much…stuff…baggage. I don't know, all I know is that I am dying here…I wanted to see you so much._

Dylan noticed the few tears drop marks that had cause the blue pen she had used to run a bit.

_You have no idea how I wanted to just take that letter from the dean about my scholarship and just throw it away…pretend it never existed. I have to do this Dylan…I don't want to regret it and I don't want to resent you. This is what I wanted and even though it feels horrible, I know I should be here. _

Dylan closed his eyes, he wasn't sure he wanted to read anymore. He could tell just by reading it, her emotions were all over the place they were mad, confused, sad, heartbroken. Maybe she was mad at that fact he wasn't around for the last month, maybe she just was sure of her decision and was nervous about breaking up with him so to speak, or maybe she wasn't sure on her decision at all. He wiped his face and decided to read the rest.

_I love you so much…I thought about you at least every other second of everyday. Please don't be mad at me…There is nothing more I wanted to do then to be with you. I had always wanted that again and I would have taken you back in a second a million times over. Please come here…Dylan will you come and live with me here? I know I know Erica and Suzanne. At least visit me…please…I need to see you, I need to know we are ok. I have to know we are ok. The week before coming here was the best week of my life. I had waited for you to take me in your arms again and until then you never did. You were the only one who really knew me at all, the only person that made my stomach flip when you kissed me…and even after the years pass you still do, you were the only person I have ever loved. I am so lucky I met someone like you, you changed my life and if this is it for us I will never forget it. I hope someday you will forgive me and know I had to take this opportunity, I know you understand, I do. Maybe part of me hopes you don't understand…cause that would mean you feel the same as I do and did about the week before I left. Anyway…I enclosed my new address and phone number, call me sometime even if its just so I can hear your voice and know that you're ok…that we are ok. Write me…something...anything. Dylan I love you, I never stopped loving you, and I know I never will. _

_Love always,_

_Your Bren_

Dylan took a deep breath as he gently refolded the letter. She was gone, just like that. He had her and without notice she was gone. Dylan leaned back taking a deep breath. He leaned his head back on the futon and started to think. About her, about Erica, his mother, Suzanne, being broke. Dylan shook his head, he didn't have the money to pay his bar tab in Mexico how was he going to fly and visit Brenda? Or pay for visits…it wasn't going to happen, he had no choice but to let her go. Dylan's attention turned toward the phone, he had no idea who would be calling him at midnight.

"This is Dylan…you know the drill…BEEP"

"Dylan…its Kelly…I wanted to see if maybe I could talk to you. I know we didn't end on the best of terms but I am worried about you. No one has seen you around and I hope that whatever has gone on between us, we can move past and eventually be friends again. Call me when you can, lets get together for lunch or coffee…I need to be honest with you and there is something I need to tell you…Alright…bye."

Dylan stared straight ahead, here he thought him and Brenda would have to break the news that they had gotten back together so shortly after they had broken up. Dylan actually felt bad, it had been maybe a day, 2 at most. But Dylan didn't want to waste time, he had wanted Brenda back. "What could she possibly want to talk to me about?" Dylan mumbled getting up and fetching a beer. Dylan's phone started to ring again, _what the hell? _Dylan thought.

"Hey this is Dylan…you know the drill. BEEP"

Moments of silence… "It's me…Dylan?…_sigh…silence…_I don't know what I am doing_."_

Dylan got up quickly and went for the phone, he knew she was crying. Dylan grabbed it fumbling with it, "hel…hello." he finally got out.

_AHHHH Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry…I know I know you guys are going to beat me. Anyway. Let me know what you are thinking. You know I live for those reviews, so hit that green button and go to town. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you for the reviews. You guys are amazing. This is a emotional chapter just a warning. I hope you enjoy it though. Thanks again for reading and enjoy!_

**Chapter 4 The Phone Call**

"Bren…Brenda…Hello?" Dylan waited but there was no answer. "Bren…are you there?"

"Damn it." Dylan said under his breath.

"Dylan?" Brenda said softly finally speaking up.

"Bren…I thought you hung up."

"No…_silence_…where have you been? I have been trying to call you for weeks." Brenda's voice cracked, it was sad and reticent. And Dylan knew right away it wasn't like her at all, at least not with him.

"Baja…I just got back tonight, I am sorry."

Brenda swallowed hard hearing Dylan sigh on the phone, she had wanted to talk to him so badly now she didn't know what to say, "Oh." she said quietly, barely audible.

"I got your letter."

Brenda inhaled, "And?"

"I think it's great you got a scholarship, congratulations. I am not surprised though, you definitely deserve it."

Brenda looked down and sighed, why was he acting so strange, his answers were short and now he had nothing to say at all but congratulations on her staying in London after they had spent the week before she left loving each other, and reconnecting. Brenda poured her heart and tears into that letter and that's all? Why was it with Dylan his feelings could change so much in one summer? At least was the ongoing trend. Brenda didn't get it.

After a long drawn out awkward silence Brenda finally spoke, "Well…I know it's late there and I have to meet with my counselor in an hour so I will let you go."

"Ok." Dylan said softly.

"Yeah." Brenda's voice changed from shy and reserved to pissed, _he didn't care, selfish bastard_. She sighed loudly, "Bye then." she said with attitude.

Dylan squeezed his eyes closed, "Brenda?" he said abruptly.

"Yeah?"

"I miss you." Dylan shook his head opening his eyes.

"Then why are you acting like such an asshole?"

Dylan smiled slightly hearing the Brenda he knew, the one that didn't hold back. "I don't know."

"Great. That helps." Brenda said resentfully.

After a long pause, "I am heartbroken Bren." Dylan voice changed as well, he didn't want her to think he didn't care she wasn't coming home.

"You are?"

"I am happy for you I am…I guess I am just selfish too, I wanted you home…with me."

Dylan heard Brenda exhale into the phone, maybe she was relieved, he didn't know.

"Why didn't you call me?" Brenda broke down letting down her guard.

"I know I should have…I am just going through some stuff right now and I didn't want to load it unto you, I just thought that you would be home and I would be able to explain it to you and…" Dylan stopped and shook his head.

"You can explain it now, I am here you know that."

"I do." Dylan nodded his head even though he knew she couldn't see him. The phone was definitely not on Brenda and Dylan's side. Dylan was always about to read her and he knew she could with him as well. It was in her eyes and not being able to see them made things worse. She felt far away and distant no matter what the words were coming out of her mouth.

"So why wont you talk me?" she pleaded, "You have always been able to open up to me…even when I first met you, our first date you were able to."

Dylan sat silent on the phone and thought about it, she was right but he didn't really want to get into that conversation over the phone. It had nothing to do with him not wanting to tell her, "I am just going through some family stuff, I am fine, I will explain it to you one day, I just don't think now is the time."

Brenda sat quietly and Dylan was waiting for a reaction, whether it was angry or understanding but she didn't say anything.

"Are you ok Dylan…I am mean are you really fine?"

Dylan looked up and sighed trying to blink back the tears, why he was hiding them he didn't know it wasn't like she could see him, "No…not really." Dylan took a deep breath.

"I love you Dylan, more than anything. I don't know what I am doing; I don't know…I don't know anything. The only thing I am sure of is the fact that I miss you and …"

"I love you too."

"Will you keep in touch with me? I don't expect you to wait for me or anything like that…I…"

"Of course I will stay in touch with you. You are my best friend, and I will always be your biggest fan, you know me better than that."

"I thought I did, I think I do, even though sometimes you surprise me." Brenda laughed slightly through her tears to lighten the mood a little. She knew it was because she was nervous. Nervous because at this point she had no idea what was happening with them.

"You do…I am still the same old pain in the ass Dylan."

Brenda smiled, "That's more of a relief than you would think."

Brenda heard silence and all she wanted to do was look into his eyes and see the love, he was saying the words but Dylan had eyes you could get lost in and she now she seemed lost without them. "Who would have thought we wouldn't have anything to say to each other? I have always been able to connect with you; I guess I am just trying to say I wish I was there."

"I wish you were here too."

Brenda just blurted it out, "Then come here, come to me…it would be great. We don't have to live together or anything if that's too much, I want to be with you Dylan. I don't want to be here without you. I am selfish too I want both. I want you." Brenda cried.

Dylan quickly wiped his tear, "I can't." he breathed out and he didn't care if she knew he was crying.

"Why?"

"I just can't Bren…my life is here, you need to be in London for yourself and I would never be able to take that away from you. I am proud of you, and I told you a long time ago not to plan your life around me."

Brenda rolled her eyes, "Well it was stupid to say then and it's stupid to say now." Brenda said furiously. "How can I not plan my life around one of the most important things in it?"

"I don't know…you just do. If we are meant to be together time will tell, I said that to you too…a long time ago and it was true right?"

"I guess." Brenda sniffled into the phone. "Will you at least come to visit me once in a while?"

"One of these days yes, I promise."

"You promise? I mean Dylan…promise me…please."

"I promise you."

The both sighed simultaneously. This would normally be the time the two of them kissed and held each other and told each other it was alright…everything would be ok. But the difference was they were a million miles away from each other and the truth was, neither of them knew if it was going to be ok.

"Maybe you could put all that money you have to good use and fly me out for Christmas." Brenda joked to break the silence that was between them. It was anything but awkward but it was clear that they were holding on to the phone call because it was all they had left.

Dylan sat quiet, "Dylan…are you still there?"

"I am here." Dylan took a deep breath, he sensed Brenda was feeling weirdly about the money comment because that's one of the things Brenda couldn't relate to Dylan with and they had never talked about it because it never mattered. She didn't know he was broke.

Brenda had always told Dylan there was so much more to him than his money but now that Brenda was in another country, the money seemed important. Like a way to see each other.

"I would spend all the money in the world to be with you." Dylan tried to make her not feel weird about the comment because if he wasn't broke it wouldn't have been an uncomfortable question and Dylan's reply was true, he would spend all the money in the world to have her, he would spend the measly 800 bucks on a plane ticket to see her, he just didn't have it.

"I know." Brenda looked at her clock next to her bed, "You have my address right? My phone number? You should get to sleep, what is it after midnight?"

Dylan took a deep breath, "Yeah."

"I love you Dylan." Brenda said softly.

"I love you too." Dylan almost whispered.

"Dream about me ok?"

Dylan smiled, "You too…compromising positions a bonus." Dylan joked.

Brenda laughed, "There you are…I thought I had lost you." Brenda joked.

Dylan laughed, he hadn't laughed in a month and it felt good. It felt good talking to her even though she was so far away. "Well it doesn't take long for the inappropriate horn dog to reappear after a little while."

"Thank God." Brenda's smile faded as she thought about him. "Why is it so hard to say goodbye to you. I mean I can talk to you on the phone, write letters, why do I feel like this is it?"

Dylan shrugged, "I don't know. I guess when it comes down to it to me, it's hard to think about going on without you when I was just getting used to you being back."

Brenda held back from telling him to come there again, she had mentioned it on the phone and in the letter so repeating it would not help things. "Take care of yourself Dylan…you know I am proud of you too. You have gotten through some pretty devastating stuff and you have stayed sober." Dylan looked down quickly, "You have overcome and believed in yourself and I am proud of you…you may be my biggest fan, but I have been yours since the first moment I met you." Brenda tried not to break down.

Dylan sighed finally breaking down his emotional wall, how did she know he was struggling, why would she say those things unless she thought he could go back at any moment?

Brenda knew Dylan was crying even though he was trying to be quiet about it, "You had told me I had saved you and I had helped you stay sober and made you believe in yourself. I am still there, you that that right?"

"I do." Dylan said softly still trying to keep his break down a secret.

Hearing Dylan cry was like being stabbed in the heart, all she wanted was to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything was alright…but she couldn't.

Dylan looked over at the beers and felt ashamed again. If she only knew she would be so disappointed in him. "Thanks Bren." He finally muttered words trying to pull himself together.

"I guess I will hopefully talk to you soon?" Brenda said sweetly.

"Definitely." Dylan looked down towards the ground. "And Bren…be great huh."

Brenda smiled, "You too."

"Oh and…"

Brenda interrupted him, "Yeah?" she said with urgency.

"You're still my Bren."

Brenda closed her eyes feeling the tears roll down her cheeks, "I know." She said tearfully.

"I love you baby." Brenda said now openly crying.

"I love you." Dylan paused, "so much." He whispered. Dylan swallowed hard and the silence grew between them again. "Bye?" he said softly realizing he had put a question on it.

Brenda nodded knowing they couldn't stay on the phone forever but it was so hard to let go. "Bye." She said softly.

Both Brenda and Dylan pulled the phone away from their ears and stared down at it. Taking a deep breath at the same time, they pressed the off buttons on their cordless phones and sat there drained. That 30 minute phone call had made them both feel like they had just ran a marathon. Both of their hearts ached and were beating quickly. The pull in their stomachs, letting them know there was something wrong, The bitterness they had felt, because everything had to be so amazing and complicated all at the same time. There was so much hesitation, so much sadness, so many questions…and so much love between them. And so the letters began. Letters that would keep them connected. With words they would have to read each other, instead of what they saw in each others eyes or what was written all over their face. They would get to know each other on a whole other level. Binding them vigorously… forever.

_So emotional stuff huh? This chapter was draining even for me. I am an artsy person so I think naturally when I write I step into characters and this chapter was emotional. Anyway as you can see the first 3 chapters were kind of like introductions, lead ins, getting you caught up on their feelings etc. Now you will read letters and the chapters may get shorter as well. There will still be outside scenes so to speak and "outside influences" haha now your minds are thinking, WHAT? LOL Anyway it wont only be letters, Brenda will have a life outside of Dylan and Dylan will be struggling with his own demons as well. Please review, I am really excited to get this story off the ground. Are you liking it? Hating it? Let me know._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 A Step In The Right Direction**

"That's not how I see her at all, she is not love starved, she is angry, she is dealing with him and she doesn't want to anymore. She is not heartbroken, she is over it." Olivia said putting her two cents in.

"We aren't talking about you, we are talking about Amanda." Michelle joked.

"Fine…what do you think Bren?" Brenda stared down into her play book. "Brennnnnda…hello?"

Brenda lifted her head, "What? Sorry I was reading." Brenda smiled feeling stupid that her daze and spacey outlook was becoming a habit, especially on Friday's cause that was usually when she received a letter from Dylan.

"How do you see Amanda?"

"Well…I think she loves Bruce a lot and maybe she is heartbroken about them but its more than that, her broken heart is coming from the side of saying goodbye to him. She wants to move on but she can't but she doesn't want to move forward with him either. She has tried to reach him and she can't. So yeah she is over it."

Olivia smiled at Michelle with a confident smile and Michelle shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Hey…I know Amanda…she is like me. I mean look at the comparison, Josh is a dickhead and Bruce is a dickhead, Amanda is strong and loving and perfect and so I am." Olivia laughed as Michelle threw a pillow at her. "I am serious."

Brenda laughed, "Sadly we know." All three girls turned their head to the door as a knock sounded. "I'll get it…it better be the pizza I am starving."

"Thank god for that pizza place, the only thing I can't get used to yet about London is the lack of good old fashion junk food." Olivia said throwing her book to the side.

Brenda opened the door and smiled, "Hey…you aren't the pizza guy."

Mike smiled back, "Nope…but I come baring gifts." Mike handed over two boxes and Brenda's mail.

Brenda looked at him oddly, "Ok…but you didn't have to bring it to me, I would have made it down there eventually."

"No…I know but my shift was over and since I was coming to meet Sean I thought I would bring it to you." Mike handed over the boxes to Brenda.

"Well thanks…that was sweet." Brenda set down her stuff.

"Yeah." Olivia smiled, "That was sweet."

Mike took a deep breath, "Well…see you later."

"Yeah…bye…oh and thanks again." Brenda said as she held on to the door nervously. She didn't know why, she knew Mike had a crush on her, it was obvious and she blamed herself. She blamed it on the Midwest in her. She had always been friendly with him and smiled and asked him how his day was going. He was actually very handsome and definitely her type…whatever that was. She was just in love with someone else. And even though Dylan was so far away, she had remained faithful to him in the month since school started, not like she had too, she just choose to, that was the difference.

Mike gave her another smile before making his way down the hall. Brenda took a deep breath and closed the door turning to face her friends. They looked at her with questioning smiles and of course Olivia had an opinion.

"Oh my God he totally is in love with you."

"Shut up." Brenda laughed.

"Oh come on Bren…he is crazy about you. Did you see the way he looked at you? It wasn't even like I want to bone her it was like I love her."

Brenda shook her head and blushed, "You are so full of shit." Brenda laughed, "I would rather have the bone me look, cause that I could use, the love is terrifying." Brenda joked.

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "That it is easy to find…we should go out tonight, fuck this play, we all know it backwards by now. I mean we are in college, we live in a place that the drinking age is 18, why not, let's go."

"No thanks." Brenda lowered herself to the floor and started looking at her packages.

"Oh come on Brenda…all you do is study and write your ex letters, let's do something. It will be good for you to get out here, what are you going to do, sit in your room and do nothing?" Michelle smiled and looked at Olivia, "What are you going to do let Olivia fuck all the guys in this school and have all the fun?"

Olivia mouth dropped, "Slut!" Olivia threw the pillow back at her as the girls laughed hysterically.

Brenda loved her new friends, they weren't snobby or selfish. They were down to earth and fun. They weren't judgmental and for example Olivia was probably richer than any of her Beverly Hills friends and you would never guess, unless of course you went through her closet and saw her collection of Louis Vuitton, Chanel, and Gucci handbags. She never talked to down to anyone or acted like she was better than anyone. She never rubbed her money in anyone's face and Brenda came to the conclusion it was either her family that was down to earth and humble or the rich were just different in New York than in California.

"Sooo…what did you get?" Olivia tilted her head, she liked to give Brenda a hard time but she knew about Dylan. Brenda had told her about him since one of the first heart to hearts they had when they had arrived to do the summer program.

"I don't know."` Brenda took a pair of scissors and ran it down the seal. She carefully opened the sides of the box and noticed a letter on top. As she slid her finger across the seal she noticed it had clothes, pictures and some other random items from her room, so she figured it was from home.

_Dear Brenda,_

_I hope all is well in London. We miss you. I gathered up the things you asked for and I did find the roll of film you wanted me to send over. Instead of sending it, I just had it developed for you._

Brenda's eyes widened knowing the whole roll of film was her and Dylan together; she quickly tried to remember if they kept the pictures G-rated.

_Don't worry sweetie I didn't look at them. Believe me, I am not that nosey._

Brenda exhaled relieved.

_So if you are reading this you probably got one of the two boxes. I sent some other clothes and things I thought maybe you would want. We have invited Valerie to live with us, you remember Valerie, she has been going through some stuff at home and I will catch you up when we talk next week but I made some room for her, I hope you don't mind. Take care sweetie, everyone says hello. I hope you are doing fine, your father and I are very proud of you. I'll talk to next week._

_With Love, _

_Mom_

Brenda looked up, "It's from my mom. Wow they invited an old friend of mine from Buffalo to come live with them…out with the old, in with the new." Brenda was a little weirded out by it.

"Yeah, I know how that goes, my mother rented out my room, she is such a sweet women." Michelle said sarcastically. 'I moved out and she saw dollar signs."

Olivia glanced in the box, "Oh pictures." She said excitedly grabbing them.

"Wait. Let me see first." Brenda said gently grabbing them out of her hand, "Censorship." Brenda laughed opening them up.

"Oh my God, you mean we actually get to see the infamous Dylan…I don't even know what to say." Olivia said being a smart ass, "He better be hot because you are way to dick whipped on him."

Brenda smiled as she slowly lifted her head and turned a picture around. The picture was of Dylan and Brenda on the beach, they had taken it themselves so it was close up. They posed cheek to cheek, Brenda giving her sexy closed mouth smile, leaning in very close to him and Dylan doing the same.

"Holy shit…he is gorgeous." Olivia said grabbing the picture from her hand.

"I know." Brenda smiled and instantly got giddy.

"More…I want to see more." Olivia held out her hand.

Brenda laughed handing another picture to her, same sort of pose with Brenda sitting in front of him in between his legs; Brenda leaned back into his chest as Dylan pressed his jaw line on the side of her face. "You guys are so cute together." Michelle said finally getting Olivia to share.

"Is there sexy ones?" Olivia smirked.

"Not like porno, you hoe." Brenda shook her head.

"Boooo." Olivia said disappointed.

"Like I would show you." Brenda kept flipping, "Here's one of us kissing."

"Oh yeah that's hot." Both girls agreed.

"We spent that last week before I left pretty much alone, so it's mostly just us." Brenda said taking a few pictures out of the stack and handing the rest of the envelope to the girls.

"I want those." Olivia said noticing right away Brenda hiding some.

"You wish…Dylan got a little crazy with the camera." Brenda smiled and shook her head. They were pretty innocent still. They were in bed together but they weren't doing anything but cuddling and even though there was only one of them that in Brenda's opinion showed a little to much of the side of her breast, they were still private to her.

"No letter from him?" Olivia looked up for a second before flipping trough the rest of the photos. "Bren…he is sexy." Olivia turned a picture around showing Brenda.

Brenda smiled, looking through her mail and sighed seeing the weekly letter she had gotten from Dylan. Brenda got up and plopped down on her bed on her stomach and started reading her letter.

_Bren,_

_Hey sexy…I am glad school is going good. The play you are working on sounds interesting. I hope you don't think about us when you read it though. I may be an ass sometimes but I am no Bruce. Yeah maybe I read it. I haven't talked to any of the gang since I have been back. People must think I dropped off the face of the earth or maybe they don't care. Maybe I don't really care. I do miss Brandon though, I haven't had the courage I guess to go to your house. I don't know why. I am having a hard time, harder than I wanted to admit. Every week after receiving your letters I decide I am going to get out of here, maybe go surfing but I don't. I did not return to C.U. I guess I am not into that too. I don't think I am into anything…besides you. You must be reading this and thinking, Jesus, is he ok? And the truth is, I guess I am having a bad day and yeah I am ok, been better but ok. _

_There is something that I have been meaning to tell you and I just haven't had the heart to bring you down or to get you involved. I haven't seen Erica since the carnival the night I was with you. Suzanne, Kevin and Erica have disappeared and I have no idea where my little sister is. I didn't tell you not because I didn't want to open up to you, I just…didn't know how to say it out loud. And then after writing back and forth and just picking up casually, it hit me that I wasn't being honest with you and I told myself a long time ago I would never do that again. Remember when I was interested in investing in Kevin's company? Well I did and now, I have no sister, no family and no money. Kevin and Suzanne took off with 8 million dollars. I have nothing Bren, the only thing in my name is my car. I don't want to unload this on you, and I don't want you running to Brandon on this, please. I am telling you because I trust you not because I need help. I'll deal with it and I am even working with a private investigator. They had located them in Brazil but the trail got cold so we are back to square one. I am sorry for not telling you sooner._

Brenda looked up from the letter, "Oh my God." she whispered.

"Everything ok?" Olivia and Michelle looked over from looking at the pictures.

Brenda slowly shook her head, "Not really." Brenda began biting the skin on the side of her nail bed.

_I am trying to work with the FBI and the women that was engaged to my father is trying to help me, it isn't her department so it's a lot of waiting around just waiting to see what happens. Anyway like I said I don't mean to bring you down and don't worry about me but that was the main reason in not coming out to London. I just can't…it's impossible. Believe me I want to. I need to see you and be with you more than anything right now. _

_I wanted these letters to be a way to keep connected not bring us down. So I promise the next one will be more up beat. Since I ruined it already ha. I will continue to tell you that I miss you. I found an old picture of us last night and I must have sat and stared at it for an hour. It's funny how the problems we faced seemed like such a big deal at the time and now seem so insignificant. Now not having you around seems like such a bigger deal then, staying out too late, wanting you to sleep over, taking you away for the weekend, your father, Brandon, even Kelly. It's just doesn't mean as much now. I knew you would be great after seeing you in action. You light up and you have this presence when you're on stage. Its one that I had never seen from you before. It's like you know exactly who you are at that moment in time. So here I am, sitting here alone, thinking about what your doing, who your with, if you met someone that saw what I did the first time we met. I am not going to ask you to wait for me either Bren, its not realistic. So I'll let you go, I'll set you free. And when you've seen what you need to see. When you find you...come back to me._

_With love always,_

_Dylan_

_***************_

_So he told her, I don't know how that sounded, I read it over but I mean in a letter its hard to express emotion, he was trying to sound ok but really sounded anything but. I hope it came across like that. I know this story so far seems really depressing but I promise all the letters wont be like that. I plan on taking it from sad to funny to angry to sexy to everything maybe all in one, you never know but stay with me, it will not be like this the whole time. Also to some of my reviewers, yes b/d will have a happy ending. I promise. That's the one thing I will promise with my fanfics, they didn't get one in real life, at least not yet so that's a promise from me to you. Are you liking Bren's friends? Review! LTC chapter will be up soon and so will LF_.


	6. Chapter 6

_Here is chapter 6, I know I promised LTC and or LF and don't worry LTC is more than half way through and LF is started. I usually have more time to work on them at work but its been busy. Don't worry I haven't abandoned them. Warning…you will love me for the beginning and then you will hate me for the end. I am sorry ahead of time. Have faith kiddos._

**Chapter 6 Misinformed**

_Dear Dylan,_

_I don't even know what to say back to you after that letter. I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I respect the fact you want to deal with it on your own, I understand you not wanting me to go to Brandon with this and baby, I wouldn't do that. You know you can trust me with anything. I just think you should reconsider. I hate the fact you are having to deal with this alone. That being said, I am not going to lecture you on it either. I know you better than that and I made the mistake a long time ago not to back you on something you felt strongly about. I wish I would have kept my mouth shut and not pressured you with my opinion of the matter with the SAT's. I think in the long run, summer aside, it pulled us apart. That's the one thing we had in our relationship was understanding and the fact we were by each other's sides. I didn't do that then and I will forever be sorry for it. I will drop it, but please know, if you need anything at all. Help, information, even money. Come to me ok? I may not have the funds, but I will figure out a way to help you somehow._

_That being said, to keep with the upbeat promise we vowed with these letters. I am not seeing anybody. You don't have to sit there and think about who I am with or what I am doing because even though I know I can, I am not looking for anyone. My whole heart belongs to you. And even though the future with us may be the unknown, I cant ignore the love I have for you. I stay pretty busy here with classes, studying, and rehearsal's. I am not here to meet a guy and date. So I may just be speaking for myself here but being in a relationship with anyone but you, terrifies me. And I don't think it would be fair to see some guy knowing that I am in love with someone else...that I am still in love with you. _

_You said you haven't been to my house or hung out with anyone so I take it you haven't met my replacement that's been living at my house for the past week and half. Well not my replacement but being so far away it sure feels that way. My parents have invited a close family friend's daughter to live with them while I am gone. Which makes me think that they don't think I am coming home ever again. I know I am being dramatic but there is something about knowing she is there, staying in my room, sharing a bathroom with my brother that weird's me out. Which brings up the next issue. Christmas, my parents have been talking about coming out here and spending Christmas here in London. I keep dropping hints that I want to come there for Christmas. Visit my family, spend time with old friends and well…see you. I am hoping I can get my point across in the couple months until then but their view on the matter and reluctance only makes me think that since our family friend is there that maybe they just don't have space for me and that's their way of being nice and not bluntly telling me that. Maybe I am just stupid and feeling bad for myself. Either way having her there just goes to show me that they didn't think much about holidays and spending the money to bring me home once in awhile and that just makes everything worse._

_There is one more thing too…Happy Birthday! No I didn't forget and if I were in California I would be giving you more than this letter that's for sure. Ha ha see I think about sex too you know. I know with everything going on and the fact that you probably wont do anything knowing you. I wanted to be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday. I am hoping this letter comes to you before the actual day and not after. _

Dylan raised his head as he heard a knock at the door. He sighed almost being angry with whoever it was for interrupting his Brenda daze. That's what he referred to it as when he received one of her letters. Dylan set the letter down and went glancing through the window seeing it was a delivery man. He quickly opened the door.

"I have a package for a Dylan McKay."

"That's me." Dylan said curiously.

"Sign here." the delivery driver held out his clipboard.

Dylan quickly signed his name and took the package looking down at it as he shut the front door. He slowly moved to the couch again and smirked as he saw the return address on the package. He opened it carefully and looked at the card first. It had a heart on the front and it read, _To My Baby On His Birthday_. Dylan smiled and opened it. He read the hallmark sentiments and came to the personal touch. _Dylan, I found this at a vintage bookstore close to school. I thought of you the moment I saw it. I go in there every other day just because the place reminds me so much of you. I bookmarked page 32, I think you'll know why. Happy Birthday Dylan. I wish I was there to hug you and give you a birthday kiss but this will have to do. With love, Your Bren. _Dylan smiled as he looked in the box and pulled out a book titled, A Book For Lovers…a classic collection of romantic poetry. Dylan opened the first edition poetry book and went straight to page 32. Dylan started to read and instantly smiled recognizing the poem.

_Longing  
by Matthew Arnold (1822 1888)_

Come to me in my dreams, and then  
By day I shall be well again.  
For then the night will more than pay  
The hopeless longing of the day.

Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times,  
A messenger from radiant climes,  
And smile on thy new world, and be  
As kind to others as to me.

Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth,  
Come now, and let me dream it truth.  
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,  
And say My love! why sufferest thou?

Come to me in my dreams, and then  
By day I shall be well again.  
For then the night will more than pay  
The hopeless longing of the day

Dylan sighed and couldn't help but smile a bit. He ran his fingers down the page just thinking about Brenda reading through this book and hand picking this poem made his heart ache for her even more. He gently set down the book and picked up the letter to finish it.

_Promise me one thing, you will do something for your birthday. Anything…whether its go surfing or even just going to the Pit for a Mega Burger, which by the way I would give up my first born for right now. But something, just so I know you aren't alone on your day. You should be getting a little something from me for your birthday as well. It's nothing big but it screams you and I just had to get it. Also you will find something else in there from me. Just in case you are starting to forget about me. I miss you Dylan. Happy Birthday._

_With Love,_

_Your Bren_

Dylan peaked inside the box pulling out another envelope. He quickly opened it and felt his heart skip a beat as he pulled out four pictures. He stared at them and smiled. It was of them…together…happy, before they were apart, before Dylan knew what Suzanne and Kevin had done to him. When he literally had everything. They were posed on the beach, in bed together, kissing, cuddling. Doing things he missed more than anything. He spent the next 45 minutes staring at those pictures and thinking about everything that Brenda had said. With that Dylan decided to keep the promise even though he had never actually promised her. He decided to change his clothes and go to the Peach Pit for lunch. It would be good for him, he just hoped he wouldn't run into any of his friends that as far as he knew, didn't know he was drinking again or even home.

**

Dylan made his way through the back entrance and went to the door as he noticed Kelly getting up and saying what looked like goodbye to Donna. Dylan waited for Kelly to leave through the front door before heading into the Peach Pit. He wasn't in the mood to deal with her. He was barely drunk and there wasn't enough beer or scotch in the world to prepare him for that conversation. Donna he could handle considering she wouldn't ask too many questions or even if she did she wouldn't judge him for being distant and really didn't have to justify anything to her. He also knew word would get around of him being back in town and he liked the fact she probably would be the one to tell everyone so he didn't have too. He slowly made his way in and saw Nat turn around.

"Dylan…how are you doing man? I thought my silent partner had dropped off the face of the earth."

Dylan smiled at Nat not saying anything and Nat could tell right away how forced that smile was.

"You ok?" Nat said concerned seeing the bags under his eyes, the lack of product in his hair and general worn look on his face.

"Yeah I am fine, just been sick that's all. I finally think I am feeling better enough for some real food." Dylan smiled at little more genuinely at Nat and walked around the counter. He avoided making eye contact with Donna as he sat at the counter but not surprised he didn't get far without being noticed.

"Dylan?" Donna said surprised to see him.

Dylan slowly swung around on the stool and gave her a subtle smile. "Hey Donna, how you been?"

"Good." she said with a smile getting up and sitting on the stool next to him. "You just messed Kelly…where have you been hiding out?"

Dylan ignored the Kelly comment, happy she had asked another question so it was easy to dance around the Kelly comment. "I have been sick, the flu or something but I spent the summer in Mexico."

"Oh when did you get back?" Donna leaned her elbow on the counter making herself more comfortable and looking interested.

"A week ago." Dylan lied in reality he had been back almost 2 months already.

"Well its nice to see you." Donna smiled sweetly.

"So since you have been gone did you hear about Brenda?"

Dylan took a deep breath, _not ask a lot of questions my ass_, Dylan smiled, "Yeah there was a message from Brandon on my machine when I got back, that's cool she got a scholarship, good for her."

"Yeah…I talked to her last week, she seems to be liking school."

Steve walked up behind them startling Dylan as he felt Steve's hand on his shoulder. "Hey stranger, where the hell have you been?"

_Great_, Dylan thought. "Hey man, just got back from Baja last week."

"You talking about Brenda?" Steve sat on the other side of Dylan making Dylan regret his decision on coming to the Pit at all.

"Yeah…I was just telling Dylan I talked to her last week." Donna looked down at her watch, "Oh man, I got to get out of here." Donna set her hand on his shoulder as she stood up, "Good seeing you Dylan and if you aren't doing anything tomorrow night, come by the Hilton."

"What's at the Hilton?" Dylan pretended to care.

"I am being debuted tomorrow." Donna realized people probably didn't know what that meant, "It's a ball, I have decided to be a debutant. Gotta suit?"

"I got a wetsuit." Dylan joked.

Donna smiled at his joke, "Try to come, I know everyone would love to see you. See you guys later." Donna left out the front door quickly.

"So you heard about Bren then huh?" Steve continued with the Brenda conversation in which Dylan wasn't interested in talking about with Steve, especially because he knew more about Brenda in London then any of them.

"Yeah, Brandon left me a message, something about her getting invited to stay or something." Dylan played dumb bringing the coffee that Nat had dropped off to his lips and taking a sip.

"Yeah Brandon said she is doing well…she is even seeing someone I guess."

Dylan's head turned quickly toward Steve, "She is? Since when?" he caught his tone after saying it out loud and realized there was emotion and sadness, with a bit of hurt and jealousy to it and was probably obvious.

Steve looked at Dylan oddly, "Yeah." he said slowly with a sense of wonder, "I guess the last time Brandon called her, some dude answered. Brandon asked the guy who he was and I guess he told him he was a close friend of Brenda's." Steve waited to see if Dylan reacted again. Steve was surprised, he thought Brenda and Dylan were ancient history, they hadn't even been together in over a year.

Dylan swallowed hard and looked into his coffee cup.

"You haven't talked to her?" Steve now was being nosey.

Dylan tried to recover from the shock and act as though it didn't matter, "Ah…no, I haven't talked to Bren since before she left for the summer." Dylan made eye contact with Steve seeing the prying look in his eyes right away. "Well that's good, I am glad to hear she is adjusting well." Dylan said looking away quickly and hoping Steve bought it.

"Yeah sounds like she is, you going to come to the party thing tomorrow?"

"We'll see, I am getting over the flu or something, we will see how I feel." Dylan said hoping that was a good enough answer.

"Yeah I was going to say, you look like shit dude."

"Thanks Steve… I should go." Dylan got up not even wanting the mega burger anymore.

"Later dude, see ya around." Steve turned but saw Dylan was already pushing the back doors open. Steve shrugged not thinking too much into it.

Dylan had spent the majority of that night going over the possibility that Brenda was actually seeing someone. Would she lie to him? Dylan didn't think so but there was a delay in letters, it normally took a week sometimes more to get mail from the UK, could someone have came in and swept her off her feet? Dylan continued to drink as he worked on his bike thinking about Brenda's letter. He couldn't get her out of his head. He knew they weren't officially together or having a long distance relationship and Dylan meant what he said that he didn't expect her to wait for him but it didn't make the fact that it may actually be true hurt less. Dylan turned his head toward the inside as he heard the door bell. He walked over to the front door wiping the grease off his hands. He opened it quickly finding Brandon standing on his porch.

Dylan smiled and wiped under his nose, "Heeey…Mr. Walsh, I had a feeling I would see you soon after seeing Steve at the Pit. Good to see ya."

"Really? Cause the incommunicado treatment kind of had me wondering." Brandon held out his hand for a greet as Dylan half assed it making Brandon feel stupid.

Dylan looked toward the inside of his house and back out at Brandon, "Yeah…sorry…I should have checked the messages."

Brandon stuck his hand back into his pocket, "No problem."

"Come on in." Dylan opened the door farther letting Brandon in as he walked back to his outside patio. "I was just working on the bike, going to take her out for a test drive."

"You mean this thing actually runs, I always thought of it as porch decoration."

"Ha…no way, me and Kelly used to take it out all the time." Dylan reached for his beer as Brandon uncomfortably watched him take a sip. The fact that Dylan brought up Kelly was rough enough but seeing Dylan McKay drinking was worse. Dylan sensed his disapproval instantly.

"Want a beer?" Dylan said looking back at him.

"No…thanks." Brandon continued to stare at him in disbelief.

"You wanna quit staring at mine then." Dylan said rudely.

Brandon pursed his lips together with a slight shrug, "Tell me you're fine and I wont say a word about it."

"I am fine." Dylan said not very convincingly as he took a seat on his patio chair. "Even though I have been thinking about Kelly lately, I guess I missed her at the pit today." Dylan wasn't sure exactly why he brought her up entirely but he realized quickly after saying it out loud that he said it to hurt Brenda.

"But you guys were always fighting when you were together, I thought you and Bren had reconnected?" Brandon officially felt weird vibes from his long time friend. He came over with the intention of saying hello to him and telling him about Kelly not thinking it would be a big deal because of Brenda and Dylan getting back together the week before she left. Now he wasn't so sure.

"Well it was always complicated, Brenda was around."

"I thought you and Brenda had gotten back together before she left? She asks about you all the time. She calls home once a week and after telling me what's new the first person she asks about is you." Brandon was getting angry and defensive, whatever Dylan was trying to pull he didn't know. Dylan knew Brandon knew how close they had gotten before she left. Why was he down playing it?

"We did…but that was a long time ago, she is there, I am here."

"So…that's it…that's how you feel about her. She is there, you're here and Kelly is second choice as usual?" Brandon said without thinking.

Dylan took a swig of beer regretting talking about Kelly at all, he didn't care about Kelly. Dylan knew subconsciously he was mad about Brenda moving on and knew Brenda and Brandon talked often. He didn't know why he wanted to hurt her. Now he had secretly hoped he wouldn't tell her anything. "Steve told me Brenda is seeing someone, why am I the bad guy?"

Brandon looked down at his feet realizing where it was coming from now, jealousy. "I don't know for sure. I did call her, and some guy answered. It doesn't mean she is dating him." Brandon could kill Steve for saying anything. Brandon had told Steve thinking it was odd because he knew how she felt about Dylan but without knowing the facts he didn't want people finding out, especially Dylan.

"Whatever man…it wouldn't have worked, she is in London, I mean I haven't seen her in almost four months." Dylan downed his beer, "It's good she is moving on." he lied through his teeth.

Brandon stared at him, he wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't sure if he was saying those things because of what Steve had told him or because he was just mean. Was he mad Brenda didn't come home and wanted to hurt her or was he just really unaffected by it? Had Dylan just spent that summer with Brenda on the rebound? If he was hoping Brandon would tell her this stuff he was wrong. It would break her heart even if she was seeing somebody. Brandon swallowed hard watching Dylan drink his beers in disgust.

"Are you sure you don't want a beer?"

Brandon shook his head and took a deep breath, Brandon didn't get it. Dylan treating Brenda badly when she wasn't around...drinking again. Whatever was happening with Dylan, Brandon didn't like it and it was not the time to tell him about Kelly.

_*ducks and hides* Don't throw things please, tell me how you are feeling in reviews but just know…my season 5 WILL NOT mirror the Kelly, Dylan, Brandon triangle. That's all I am going to say. I would hope most of you guys would trust me by now. Obviously the Brenda and Dylan angst has begun. And this is what I meant about outside influences. Also this story is totally about Brenda and Dylan, not Dylan and Kelly, or Brandon and Kelly or anything. Hope that helps ease your hate toward me right now lol Please review, oh and on a better note, how sweet was Brenda's gift and letter? _


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 He's Drunk Again**

Brandon walked into Dylan's house. He stopped and shook his head as he saw Dylan laying on the couch passed out with his arms wrapped around a trashcan. Brandon tried to shake him, "Dylan…Dylan? Come on man." Brandon tried to lift him by pulling his arm, "Come on…Dylan…Hey." Brandon gently patted his cheek a couple times as Dylan finally came too. "Come on…wake up…wake up…come on let's walk around a little bit huh."

Dylan sat up eyes slowly opening as he pulled his arm back forcefully that Brandon was holding . He groaned, "I am fine." he said squinting at him. "What you thought I OD'd I was asleep." Dylan walked toward his back patio opening the back door.

"You must be a heavy sleeper, it took me two minutes to wake ya up."

"I am very tried." Dylan leaned his arms against the door frame and coughed.

"Big day shooting up the house?" Brandon stood back and looked at the bullet holes Dylan had put in his chair earlier that day. His eyes set on him again as he watched his friend drunk barely able to stand.

"What house? This isn't my house…I don't got a house, I don't got anything."

Brandon took a deep breath, "Look Dylan, I know that Kevin and Suzanne ripped you off man but you got to get over it."

"Yeah I'll get over it." Dylan said sarcastically as he swaggered over to the futon and sat on the arm of it. "First thing in the morning."

"Alright fine then don't get over it but do something besides just getting wasted everyday I mean." Brandon took a deep breath, "What are you saying man that there was never anything more to you than money?"

"Don't." Dylan yelled and got up facing Brandon, "Don't come over here after three months and start analyzing me…what do you know…how do you get so wise to come over here man? You live at home…you live the most coddled existence of anybody I know of and yet you'll come in here and tell me you have some idea of what I am going through." Dylan tossed a stack of mail to the floor, "You have no idea."

"Don't turn this around man, this aint about me."

Dylan lowered his tone taking breaths between his words trying not to cry, "No it aint ever about you is it Brandon…Brenda's got guts man…she had the guts, she moved away to another continent just to get away from you." he lashed out. He knew why Brenda went to London for that summer program, she was tired of living in Brandon's shadow, she wanted to do something, something her parents would be proud of and deep inside Dylan couldn't help but blame him.

Brandon shook his head and smirked more surprised than anything, "Are you sure you want to do this man, my sister is away…she isn't around to stick up for you and I am about the only friend got left."

"May the bridges I burn light the way."

"Ok." Brandon stuck his hands in his pocket sadly and turned toward the door.

"Don't take my gun." Dylan said defeated knowing that he had left it on the table. "If you walk out of here with it, I'll call the cops myself." Brandon turned away from the door.

"Go ahead my license is 3E55503, you want me to write it down for you?"

"Get out." Dylan said under his breath looking down but Brandon still heard him

"I don't even know what Brenda would say if she saw you like this." Brandon shook his head in disappointment.

"GET OUT!" Dylan yelled loudly.

Brandon looked sadly at a man that was once like a brother…part of his family…his best friend. He swallowed hard and walked out Dylan's front door slamming it behind him.

Dylan fell back slowly into the futon brushing his hair back. He closed his eyes and let himself once again pass out from the cruel world.

**

Brenda had read over her scene a dozen times. Her mind wasn't into it. It had been two going on three weeks since she had received a letter from Dylan. She used her calling card to try and get a hold of him instead of calling collect but he never returned her calls after leaving messages. Brenda loved school but she hated being so far away. Sometimes she thought about just leaving it, going back home but then she would think of herself, her future, people didn't get offered opportunities like this and no matter how much she missed Dylan she was only reminded how dumb that would be. Brenda took a deep breath and looked up. She smiled and tried not to stare as Olivia giggled as Sean whispered something in her ear. They were really cute and had been officially dating for a few weeks and watching them reminded her of herself and Dylan. Their interaction, the stolen kisses, the small smiles, the cute respect they had for each other and the way they were not alone but just looking at them, they could have been the only ones there. Also you didn't get grossed out it was almost intriguing. Brenda leaned her head back on the bed as she sat on the floor. She stared at the ceiling taking a deep breath.

"Sorry." Olivia apologized getting the impression they were leaving her out.

"Oh no…you guys are sweet. I feel so far from everything over here. I miss home, but I love it here too. Dylan is going through some stuff and I haven't heard from him. I am just out of the loop." Brenda gave Sean and Olivia a small smile not trying to bring the afternoon down.

Sean smirked and looked down before making eye contact with Brenda, "Why don't you come out with us tonight? We are going for some drinks, there is a band playing around the corner that is suppose to be awesome."

Brenda smiled; Sean was very cute and charming. He had dirty blonde hair, crystal blue eyes and a nice warm smile. Brenda and him hit it off from the beginning since he was originally from North Dakota and moved when he was 12 to Long Beach. So from the mid west to the west coast then to London, they had a lot in common. "I don't think so…you guys go, have fun, I don't really want to be a third wheel anyway."

"You won't be…Mike will be there." Sean smiled knowing Brenda was now for sure going to say no.

Brenda took a deep breath, "I don't know." she shook her head gently.

"Oh come on, Mike worships the ground you walk on, give him a chance, it doesn't have to be anything more than a group of friends going to have some fun." Olivia smiled tilting her head and giving Brenda pleading eyes. "Please."

"I don't want to give him the wrong idea." Brenda shook her head.

"Brenda…what are you afraid of?" Sean shrugged, "Are you afraid you will actually like him?"

Brenda looked down and took a deep breath, Mike was sweet but Brenda really didn't want to lead the guy on. She wasn't interested in dating anyone, she was still hung up on Dylan but the longer Brenda was in London and the less often Dylan wrote her, which now was going on three weeks made her realize more and more maybe she couldn't sit around and wait for Dylan McKay forever. It was tempting and it would be easier and honestly Brenda was lonely.

"Fine…I'll go…but just as friends." Brenda gave in.

Olivia and Sean looked at one another and lifted their eyebrows with a smile. Brenda noticed the two of them had guilty smiles, "As friends." Brenda emphasized.

Sean and Olivia smiled as Brenda threw her pillow at them, "You suck."

The phone rang and Olivia patted Sean's leg to get the phone. "Hello." Sean said.

"Hey…Sean was it?" Brandon said making note that the same guy was answering the Brenda's phone again.

"Yep…is this Brandon?" Sean remembered Brenda's brother from their last conversation.

"Pretty good memory."

"Same to you…want to talk to Bren?"

"Ah yeah, if she isn't busy."

"No, she is sitting right next to me." Sean held the phone out, "It's your brother."

Brenda grabbed the phone and shook her headwith a smile as Sean tackled Olivia to the ground and set small kisses on her neck.

"Hey Bran, how's life in L.A?" Brenda said chipper.

"It's ok." Brandon was short and his tone didn't sound like his normal happy self.

"Just ok? How are things going with Kelly?"

"Good…we are good." Brandon hesitated thinking of exactly how to tell his sister the reason he called.

"Brenda?" Olivia whispered.

"Hold on a sec Brandon." Brenda covered the bottom of the receiver, "What's up?" she said to Olivia.

"I am going to walk Sean to his room and get a soda, you want one?" Olivia continued to whisper.

Brenda shook her head, "No thanks…bye Sean see ya later." Brenda uncovered the receiver and gave them a small wave returning to her brother, "Bran?"

"Is Sean your boyfriend?" Brandon came out and asked.

Brenda laughed, "No…is that why you called...to check up on my love life Brandon?" Brenda said joking, "No that's Olivia's boyfriend."

Brandon rubbed his face thinking what an idiot he was for even spreading anything around about Brenda. He wasn't sure but he thought that hearing about Brenda may have set Dylan off even more. "That's not why I called." Brandon was serious. "Brenda…I am not really sure how to say this."

Brenda felt a pit in her stomach thinking something bad had to have happened. "What? Brandon you're scaring me."

Brandon took a deep breath, "It's Dylan."

Brenda stood up quickly placing her hand to chest as her eyes widened, "What happened? What's wrong with Dylan?" she said panicked.

Brandon started at the beginning, "Dad and Dylan had a disagreement shortly after you left for London and dad fired Dylan as his client not wanting to deal with Dylan's attitude anymore. Time passed on and no one really thought much of it but Dylan tried to take a second mortgage out on his house and because the change and stuff with Dylan's trust takes time they sent dad over some paperwork to be signed. Dad thought it was odd that a guy like Dylan with the millions he has in the bank would need to take out a loan, so he looked into it."

Brenda sat quiet realizing her family had found out about Suzanne and Kevin.

"Dad tried to find out what had happened but…they wouldn't tell him much. But Dad found out from someone that Suzanne and Kevin had ripped him off, they took all of his money and ran." Brandon swallowed hard.

"Who did he find out from?" Brenda didn't meant to say that. She knew no one had known Brenda and Dylan were keeping in contact with each other until a couple weeks ago. "I mean…how did he find out?" Brenda wasn't even sure if that fixed anything.

Brandon was quiet for a long minute, finally taking a deep breath, "Valerie." he said quietly.

Brenda smiled and shook her head, "Valerie? How would Valerie know? Do they even know each other?" Brenda was so confused.

Brandon was quiet again he dreaded the next two parts the most. "I guess they have been spending time together."

"What?" Brenda whispered, "Spending time together? Like they are dating?" Brenda voice finally had more volume to it.

"No…not really dating…"

"Well then what?" Brenda said losing her patience.

Brandon sighed, "I guess they were sleeping together." Brandon sat there on the phone as Brenda sat quietly.

"Bren?" Brandon finally spoke up.

"Dylan and Valerie? Really?" Brenda breathed out. "For how long?"

Brandon shrugged shaking his head, even though Brenda couldn't see, "I don't know for sure, a few weeks maybe…but Bren…that's not even the worse of it."

Brenda wiped the tears that fell from her eyes, she wasn't sure if she could hear something worse that that.

"Dylan is drunk again, he has been for awhile. Since the Kevin and Suzanne thing happened, we assume over the summer up until now. He's in pretty bad shape and when I went over there the other day, he barely could stand, he was drunk or maybe high or both. I saw something on the coffee table that looked like coke or something and he had shot up his house. He had a gun just sitting there on the coffee table. We got in a fight and I left but I was worried about him so I had gone back and sat there until morning just to make sure he was ok."

"Brandon." Brenda started to cry harder feeling so helpless. "Did you talk to him when he woke up?"

"I did…but it didn't really go anywhere. I am not his favorite person right now…a few weeks ago around Dylan's birthday, he came wasted to Donna's fund raiser party and made a scene after finding out about Kel and I."

"He was upset?" Brenda said softly, it just kept getting worse and worse.

"Yeah but I think it was more because of the principle of it all, he came in and spat off something about his best friend and old girlfriend, about karma being a bitch and that the wrong choice had came back to bite him in the ass. Kelly and I figured it was because of what they had done to you."

Brenda finally lowered herself to her bed taking a deep breath as the tears kept sliding down her cheeks, "What are you guys going to do Brandon, isn't someone going to help him?"

"Yeah…we all got together and we are going to have an intervention, we are meeting with an interventionist and we are going to try to get him over to our house so we can all express the concern we have for him and we are going to try to get him to go to rehab….I just think its a good idea. I know it must be hard being so far away, out of the loop."

"I am coming home." Brenda said without hesitation.

"No Bren…you have school, there is no way dad is going to pay for you to fly home for a intervention…for Dylan…believe me, not his favorite person right now. Besides what you are going to take an 8 hour flight for what 3 days, you cant miss classes…you cant waste your time on Dylan anymore. He is lost."

Brenda took a deep breath wiping her face. She could not imagine not being there. Brenda had always been there for him and they had been through too much together for Brenda not to be there for him now. But Brandon was right, flying home for a weekend? How would she pull that off? If her father wouldn't pay how could she afford it? With rehearsals and class…Brenda was so torn. Brenda began to tear up again thinking about Dylan drunk again. Then she felt like a knife had been forced into her heart once again, coming to the reality that not only was Dylan in trouble, he had done it to her again, he had slept with one of her friends.

"Look Brandon, I gotta go, Olivia is back, I will call you later, thanks for letting me know." Brenda hung up quickly. As she sat on her bed staring at the wall for a second, her face fell into her hands and Brenda cried loudly letting go all her disappointment and sadness. Just like that, without notice Dylan McKay had broke her heart…again.

_*sniff* Damn you Dylan…you bastard. The story is taking a lot more of the s5 storyline than anticipated with my own little twist of course. It obviously got worse before it can get better. Anyway tell me what your thinking. Are you glad Brenda knows everything now? What about Val, do you think Brandon should have not told her? Let me know._


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 The Replacements**

Dylan stared at his ceiling as he lay in his bed. The past few weeks had been a daze, not only was he drunk almost every hour of the day but he had been doing drugs and after meeting a girl at the pool hall, he found out quickly after sleeping with her, she was the friend of the family staying in no other than Brenda's room, "Her replacement" as she referred to her as. He had no idea who she was but Valerie knew exactly who he was when she walked into that pool hall. Dylan was so drunk, after sleeping with her he told her about Kevin and Suzanne not knowing who she was, come to find out after a visit from Jim Walsh a few weeks later, Dylan found out pretty quickly who Valerie was and that she had told him about being broke. Dylan lifted himself off the bed and looked into the living room hearing his front door open. He grabbed his shirt and headed into the living room hearing Valerie call out.

"Dylan…its me." Valerie let herself in closing the door behind her.

"I'll have to remember to lock that door." Dylan said angrily putting on his shirt.

"Are you alone? Cause if you're not I'll go." Valerie said hesitating, considering she had caught him with a girl the other day. Dylan had brought her home from the bar just to send her packing before anything happened.

"And if I am not, will you still go?"

"I just want to talk to you." Valerie said hurt.

"I think you have done enough talking lately."

Valerie looked confused, "I don't know what you mean."

Dylan walked to the other side of his living room keeping his coldness toward her. "It means I got a visit from Jim Walsh and Brandon that I could have lived without."

"Is it my fault he got a fax about you and started snooping around?" Valerie tried to lie.

"You don't have to give me crap about a fax, I know you told him that I am broke. You don't lie very well and I hate a liar." Dylan glared at her.

"Well you have been lying to everyone for months, pretending you're still Ritchie rich, lying about how long you have been in town for, lying about drinking and being sick. Who were you trying to hide it from anyway, it was only a matter of time before everyone found out…including Brenda."

Dylan swallowed hard but kept his front, "Oh so you did me a favor…I don't think so I think you're mad because you came in here the other night and found me with a girl."

"You don't know how intimidating Jim Walsh can be." Valerie raised her voice.

Dylan shook his head with a smirk, "Oh I know exactly how intimating Jim Walsh can be…what did he do…bully you?" Dylan said sarcastic.

"What did you expect me to do; I am living in his house." Valerie tried to justify, keeping her tone.

"Hey." Dylan shrugged walking toward the door, "You can stand up to him, Bren did, in fact she got pretty good at it in the end, standing up to big Jim."

"You know the Walsh's were really concerned about you." Valerie turned to face him, hurt he brought Brenda up at all.

"Yeah…well if they cared so much." Dylan opened the front door, "Tell me this, how come I was never good enough for their daughter…at least Brenda had the guts to call them on it."

Valerie looked down holding in her tears, "I am not Brenda…don't talk to me about Brenda…I will never be Brenda…STOP TRYING TO REPLACE ME WITH BRENDA." she yelled getting closer to him.

"NO…you're not Brenda…you're just pretending to be…And I think you like it, I think you like living in Brenda's house, sleeping in Brenda's bed, fucking Brenda's boyfriend, you got Brenda's brother and Brenda's parents all wrapped up in that nice cozy little package…instant family." Dylan yelled back.

Valerie started to cry, "What's wrong with that?" she broke down.

Dylan took a deep breath seeing her cry, she was like him, she held on to the Walsh's like he had done all those years ago. The feeling of being part of a family, the closeness, the love and support, he couldn't blame her for it. He shook his head, "Nothing." He said calming down.

Valerie broke down as Dylan hugged her feeling bad for even getting involved with her. Here he was yelling at her, calling her out when he did the same thing. And he was guilty of looking to Valerie as a replacement too. He used her, they used each other.

**

Brenda sat trying to be social as they listened to the band at a nearby pub. She for the most part stayed pretty quiet and tried to enjoy herself. In fact she hadn't even hesitated going out with Olivia, Sean and Mike. Obviously Dylan didn't have a problem with moving on, why should she. Not saying she would go for it with Mike or anything but why should she sit in her room in tears dwelling on the fact that Dylan was still the same old jerk he had been that senior year in high school.

"You ok?" Mike leaned in to whisper in her ear since the music was so loud.

Brenda gave him a tight smile and nodded, "Yeah…thanks."

"Do you want another drink, I am going to get up and get myself one." Mike said nicely.

Brenda looked at him, he was so cute and into her. Why couldn't she move on from Dylan? Why did he have such a hold on her? She hated it and sometimes she wished she had never fell in love with him to begin with. Mike had short dark wavy hair. He didn't use much product in it but it still looked good. He was tan and had green eyes. His teeth were straight and white. He had dimples and nice lips, definitely an actor type even though Brenda could picture him more on TV than theater. When he talked to her he looked into her eyes. She never caught him glancing down at her breasts or doing anything that even hinted at being inappropriate, like most guys their age. He was respectful and sweet. He was crazy about her and it didn't take a genius to figure it out. She was attracted to him she just wasn't ready. And to top it off, she was terrified of getting hurt again.

"I am ok actually." Brenda smiled politely. Mike nodded with a small smile getting up as Sean followed him to the bar.

Olivia leaned in with a smile, "How's it going?"

Brenda looked at her shaking her head at her not so sly approach, "Not subtle by the way and yes it's going fine." Brenda took a deep breath.

Olivia looked sadly at her, "I am sorry about Dylan…it must be hard to care about someone so much and hear he is having trouble and not being able to help." Brenda had filled her in a little, not the Valerie part though, Brenda couldn't even repeat that.

"Yeah…but thanks for inviting me, it's a nice distraction even though it isn't if you know what I mean."

Olivia nodded wrapping her arm around Brenda bringing her in for a supportive hug. "It will be okay."

"I hope so." Brenda whispered as the guys made their way back to the table and the girls separated.

The rest of the evening went well actually and Mike even got Brenda to smile a few times. As the four of them walked back to the dorms, Brenda and Mike walked a bit back not saying much as they watched Olivia and Sean try to walk and make out at the same time. The looked at each other at the same time and let out a little laugh as they were kind of entertaining.

"Thanks for coming out with me…I don't know about you but its definitely a lot better not being the third wheel with those two even though I haven't seen Sean that happy in years."

"How long have you guys been friends?" Brenda made conversation.

Mike thought about it, "5 years. My dad is in the military so we moved around a lot, but we kept in touch and we had both auditioned to come here…and got in, so the rest is history."

"That's cool." Brenda smiled as the trucked up the steps to the dorm hall. All four of them headed into Brenda and Olivia's room and sat, talking and laughing. It became awkward quickly when Olivia and Sean began to make out rather heavily leaving Mike and Brenda looking at each other uncomfortably. Brenda was feeling more like high school than college age but then again Brenda had a boyfriend in high school that had his own place. How many girls could say that?

Brenda froze as Mike came closer to her; he leaned in and whispered in her ear, making Brenda exhale relieved. "Want to go for a walk or something?"

Brenda looked at her friend who had moved onto the bed as they began pulling off jackets and sweatshirts. She smiled at him and nodded. The two of them got up quickly not really wanting to be in the same room as two horny teenagers that looked as though they were about to do more than just make out. Brenda and Mike walked around the park near their dorm hall, which wasn't even a dorm hall really. It was more off campus housing for the students but everyone referred to it as that, well at least the American students did. RADA was small compared to most universities. It was quant, and all indoors, it was located in the theater district so it was fun being so close to them. It didn't take long for Brenda to fall in love with London.

"So Brenda…you like London?" Mike said with his hands in his pockets as they walked slowly through the park.

"Yeah…I like it a lot, it just takes some getting used to." Brenda hesitated, "Being so far from home."

"Yeah I know…I have moved around so much, there is nothing like going away from your friends and having to start again. Not knowing anybody, it never gets easy."

Brenda nodded in agreement but kept her eyes straight in front of her. She felt so betrayed but at the same time she felt so badly about Dylan and even after hearing what he did to her, she wanted to help him.

"You thinking about Dylan?" Mike said looking over at her casually.

Brenda looked at him surprised, "Sean and Olivia kind of explained some stuff to me. I guess when your crazy about someone but their heart is somewhere else your friends feel the need to explain it so it doesn't suck as bad." Mike gave her a sweet smile.

"I am sorry…there is just stuff going on at home, so my mind is preoccupied. Don't take it personally…and Dylan…is…well a constant presence in my life, good and bad."

"Are you guys together?" Mike asked not really knowing if he really truly wanted to know.

"No…we were before I came here with the intention of me coming back after the summer but things changed when I decided to stay." Brenda had stopped as she leaned against a nearby wall. "Dylan and I are really complicated but no we aren't together, but he's a friend, he's part of my family and he is going through a lot right now."

"So why don't you go home?" Mike leaned against the wall next to her.

Brenda head shot towards him, "Go home? Because this is what I love to do, I would be an idiot to throw that all away."

"No I mean not for good, why don't you go home and see everyone, talk to Dylan and then you can come back."

"How? It's expensive flying to L.A. my father would never give me the money to fly there especially if it had to do with Dylan."

Mike sighed and moved in front of her as Brenda slowly raised her head so her eyes met with his. "I don't like to see you like this. If there was something I could do to help you forget about him or the drama at home I would." Mike set is hands on the top of Brenda's arms and rubbed down gently. "I like you."

Brenda took a deep breath, she was about to give him the…I am not ready, it wouldn't be fair speech when she felt his lips on hers. At first she stood still, not moving her mouth but soon after let go. She slowly closed her eyes and began to move her mouth with his. She felt his arms warp around her and pull her against him. She got lost in that kiss which was full of passion and tension. She found herself lifting her hand to the back of his neck and realized she was leading him on. It wasn't that she wasn't attracted to him or that she didn't like him. It just was bad timing. Brenda slowly broke away from the kiss and looked down.

"Mike." she whispered not exactly sure what she was going to say.

"I know…but I have been wanting to do that for weeks." Mike lifted her chin so look at him. "I am not going to pressure you to move forward with me. I hope that we can at least be friends, maybe someday more but I understand and honestly I don't want just a little of you. If your heart belongs to him then I don't want it unless I can have all of it."

Brenda smiled slightly, she took a deep breath feeling a bit on the awkward side and brought her arms out swinging to her side.

"What do you say I walk you back to your room?" Mike continued to look at her.

"It's only been like 15 minutes, do you think they're done yet?"

Mike laughed lightly moving to her side and wrapping his arm around her, "I love Sean, and yes he is a stud but…he's still a 19 year old boy, I am pretty positive he is done."

Brenda laughed for the first time all night, "Wow I didn't think you had a inappropriate bone in your body…a sex joke…I didn't think you had it in you." Brenda joked.

"There is a lot of things you don't know about me Brenda Walsh. But hopefully one day you will."

Brenda smiled at him and looked into his eyes while they walked closely, "I hope so."

**

Olivia and Mike had gotten dressed and sat cuddling. "How do you think Mike and Brenda are doing?" Sean said pulling Olivia into him tighter.

"I am sure not as good as I am doing." Olivia joked, "She probably wants to kick my ass I left her alone with him."

"What's up with her and that Dylan guy anyway?"

Olivia sighed, "From what it sounds like, they have been through a lot together. When she talks about him you can tell right away he is the only guy she has ever loved but at the same time the only one that has hurt her so badly. I don't think she knows what's going on with Dylan."

Olivia and Sean looked at each other as the phone rang. Olivia looked at her clock, "Who would be calling at 1 o'clock in the morning?" She leaned up from Sean's arms and reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Ah…hey…is Brenda there?" the voice said nervously.

"Can I tell her who's calling?"

"It's Dylan."

_Ok chapter 8 up, things are heating up and more letters to come. Next up the intervention._


	9. Chapter 9

_Extra long chapter for you guys, I didnt want to split this up so enjoy, you spoiled spoiled kids you. : )_

**Chapter 9 Intervention**

Brenda and Mike walked down the hallway laughing. They came to the door and stood looking at it. They slowly looked at each other, "I can't open the door, I love them both but there are some things I just don't want to see." Brenda joked.

"Ok…I'll do it…I have sadly seen a lot of Sean, him being my roommate and everything and hey if I get a peak at Olivia even better." Mike joked as Brenda gently smacked his chest.

"One little sex joke turned you into a perve."

"I am only kidding." Mike laughed as he gently brought his hand to the door.

"She isn't here right now, but I can tell her you called." Olivia said uncomfortably.

"Isn't it like 1 in the morning there?" Dylan asked concerned.

"Ah…yeah…she will be back soon…uh she ran out." Olivia looked toward the door hearing a knock.

"Come in dude." Sean called out.

"Does everyone have their clothes on in here because Brenda here has virgin eyes." Sean said with a smile opening the door.

Olivia sat quiet as she made eye contact with Brenda. She knew something was up with the facial expression Olivia had given her. "Hold on a second, she just walked in." Olivia said into the phone. She held it out and took a deep breath.

Brenda smiled, "Who is it?"

"It's Dylan." Olivia said seeing Brenda's smile fade quickly.

Brenda looked at Mike as he looked down. She moved slowly to the phone and took it from her. She didn't even know what to say to him. She gradually brought the phone to her ear and moved to her side of the room, sitting on the edge of her bed. "Hello?" she said sadly.

"Where were you?" Dylan said coldly.

Brenda looked at her three friends who were staring at her, "I was just out… with friends…what's up?" Brenda tried to move on to the point of the call.

"With your boyfriend?" Dylan kept his tone.

Brenda turned away from her friends and looked down, "I don't have a boyfriend…not like its your business anyway."

Olivia, Sean and Mike got the vibe right away it wasn't going to be a happy call. Olivia pulled both boys toward the door leaving Brenda with some privacy to talk to Dylan alone.

"What is that suppose to mean? Of course it's my business, I mean." Dylan voice got lower, "You're my Bren."

Brenda sighed not saying anything.

"What you're not, this new guy just came in and swept you off your feet and that's it…we are done now? Just like that?"

"Dylan…I don't know what your talking about but I don't have a boyfriend and I really don't think y_ou_ have the right to say anything to me."

"You're sleeping with him aren't you? I know you are…I know you Bren…you are." Dylan said slurred.

"You're drunk." Brenda said frustrated.

"So what if I am…doesn't change the fact that you left me."

Brenda looked down, "I _didn't_ leave you." she said quietly.

"You did…and now you are seeing someone…and that's it you just threw what we had away." Dylan said hurt yet being a jerk.

"I didn't throw anything away…Dylan…you can do that all by yourself. Why are you drinking? You have done so well for so long."

"You know why I am drinking…because I trusted people and they screwed me over, I also put myself out for you again, after a year of telling myself that things between us would never be the same and then I opened up…again. And what did you do…you stayed there, you stayed in London not giving a shit about me or my feelings, you were selfish and I heard the guys in the background so stop lying."

Brenda interrupted him, "Dylan…you're not being fair." Brenda said hurt.

"Yeah well…shit happens Brenda…life isn't fair."

"Hey…don't you dare turn this around on me. I'll I ever did was love you and was there for you. You are the selfish one, I have put up with your shit for years and never even made you suffer for the crap you did to me. And do not tell me I ruined things between us because I know you have been sleeping with Valerie. What is it Dylan? You like sleeping with my friends so much, is there not enough tramps at the bar for you to throw yourself at or do you just enjoy hurting me, do you get off on it? I _was_ out with a guy tonight but it isn't like that and I don't have to justify who I am seeing or who I am sleeping with to you. You gave up that right when you decided to get together with Valerie. I am sick of this, I am sick of getting my heartbroken by you."

Dylan sat quiet on the phone. He felt ashamed, Valerie had hinted that Brenda had known but how much he wasn't sure. Dylan squeezed his eyes shut, "I just miss you, I didn't know who she was Bren, I swear to god. Hearing from our friends you were seeing someone was like being stabbed in the back. I don't want to lose you. I know I can't tell you to wait for me or expect you to be in a relationship with me but…" Dylan broke down. "I don't want to lose you…you are the only thing I have left."

Brenda swallowed hard as she started to cry, "You need help Dylan, I care about you I do, but you are better than this, you're stronger than this. Please get help Dylan…please."

"I need you…Brenda…I need you." Dylan pleaded as he raised his voice. "I can't do this without you. I have nothing left but you." Dylan was so drunk he was begging and pleading with her. This was not Dylan it actually scared Brenda. He seemed so depressed, so low on himself, so…drunk and messed up and so far away from her.

Brenda took a deep breath as her friends peaked in the door, they had heard Brenda yelling and they were worried about her. Brenda closed her eyes and looked down rubbing her hand across her eyes, "I know." Brenda said defeated, "I know." she whispered, "I am here."

"Promise me." Dylan said quietly after he took another swig from his Black Label bottle.

"Get some sleep…call me when you have not been drinking…we'll figure it out." Brenda gave in, he was too messed up for her to be mad at him, it would only make things worse.

"Promise me Bren." Dylan said quietly as his voice cracked.

"I promise you." Brenda took a deep breath and looked at her friends. Olivia looked sad and sincere. Sean was shaking his head disappointed and Mike had his arms crossed, once Brenda made eye contact with him he looked down and bit the inside of his lip. They had heard everything, even the part about Dylan sleeping with her friend.

"Ok Dylan…I'll talk to you soon. Call me whenever, whatever time, ok?"

Dylan sighed, "I will."

"Ok goodnight."

"Brenda?" Dylan tried to stop her from hanging up. Dylan sat quiet for a moment, "I love you."

Brenda looked away from her friends and closed her eyes as she held back the tears, "I love you too." she whispered softly. "Get some sleep…bye." Brenda swallowed hard and slowly brought the phone away from her ear and looked down at it as she turned it off. She finally raised her head looking at them and began to fill in the gaps about Dylan. Everything, from his childhood, his past and their relationship. She felt as though Dylan needed a fair explanation before the disappointed judging and lectures began and before her new friends could fairly take sides on the situation.

**

A couple days had past as Dylan laid passed out on his futon. He lay with his shirt off, passed out to the world as he hugged an empty bottle of scotch as the music blared through the house. He stirred hearing his name and banging on the door. Dylan's eyes slowly opened as he came too, he quickly shut them as he felt his head pound as the music blared into his ears. He got up suddenly as the empty bottle hit the ground.

"Hang on." he called out scrambling for the remote for his stereo. He finally found it pressing the power off as silence filled the house. He staggered half asleep toward the door, throwing his shirt over his head as he opened it. He was taken back to see Cindy Walsh on his doorstep, "Hi." he said stunned.

Cindy swallowed uncomfortably, "Sorry to wake you."

Dylan rubbed his eyes, "Why did you?"

"I know this is unexpected and I would have called, I just didn't think you would talk to me. May I come in?" she said concerned.

Dylan looked into his messy house and then back at Cindy, "Yeah." he said quietly "Yeah." nodding his head letting her in.

Cindy walked through the front door and looked around and smirked, "You know what's funny, all these years and this is the first time I have been to your house."

Dylan moved past her, "Yeah its kind of messed up…here have a seat." Dylan grabbed some clothes off of the futon making a clear space for Cindy to sit.

Cindy thanked him and sat down as Dylan slowly sat beside her. "Look Dylan, I know this has been a hard time for you, are you alright?"

"Yeah I am getting by." Dylan said running his hand across his face.

"Getting by is no way to live." Cindy said sincerely.

"Well…some of us don't have a choice."

"You're not alone Dylan."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but what I have broke you cant fix." Dylan said honestly.

"I came over here today because I…because Jim and I feel that its time to start over. To put whatever that has gotten in the way of our relationship behind us, and he stayed home from work today so he can talk to you."

"I got a phone…he knows the number."

"Please…Dylan, I have asked you for very few favors along the way. I have always stood by you. I am asking now, please come back to the house with me?"

Dylan stared at Cindy knowing she was right. Cindy had always like Dylan, she had always stuck up for him and always pulled for Brenda and Dylan as a couple. "Why are you doing this?" Dylan shook his head.

"Because I care about you…we all care about you." Cindy started at Dylan and gave him a sympathetic smile. Until Dylan agreed, saying he just needed to clean himself up. Which Dylan meant by a pick me up, a line of coke to wake him out of his hang over. If he had to sit and listen to Jim he wasn't doing it sober.

**

Cindy opened up the front door for Dylan as he walked through looking around, "I guess something's never change." as he looked toward the kitchen.

"Let's go in the living room." Cindy said holding out her hand.

Dylan turned as he saw the gang sitting around looking his direction. Brandon, Kelly, Donna, Nat, Steve, Jim, David and Andrea looked at him. "This is an ambush, you lied to me." Dylan said hurt and angry toward Cindy.

The interventionist brought herself forward. "Dylan my name is Ellen Marks, I am an alcoholism counselor."

"Your parents must be so proud." Dylan said sarcastically, "Wait this must be the part where I say Hi, I am Dylan and I am an alcoholic."

"Your friends are worried about you." Ellen said as she tilted her head.

"Who asked you?" Dylan looked around almost disappointed she wasn't there, he didn't care about everyone at that point in that room, the only person that could make him stay there would be Brenda and she wasn't there.

"Come on man, sit down." Brandon said and he set his elbows on his knees.

"Mind your own business Brandon." Dylan said coldly.

Ellen began to tell him that everybody had made an effort to be there and the least he could do was listen. Dylan responded coldly by telling them, it better be good, it better be entertaining or he was leaving.

"Who wants to start?" Ellen turned toward the group.

Brandon swallowed hard, "Look Dylan, you may have given up on yourself, but I am here for a very selfish reason, you saved my life once, up on that mountain when we were camping. You remember that?"

"Yeah I remember so what?"

"Well, I watch you killing yourself on booze and coke or whatever you are doing and I can't help but think about if that were to happen again if you weren't around."

"You would fall off the mountain, I am not in the saving business Brandon."

"I disagree there Dylan." David spoke up, "Remember that little instance back at the beach apartment, I was doped up on meth, cops were banging on the door, you saved me then."

"Dylan…David buried a friend in high school, Brandon just buried another one, we don't want to bury you." Andrea said with a sigh.

Dylan smirked, "Alright…put your shovels away because no one is dying here, I am fine." Dylan shook his head.

"You are not fine." Brandon said sternly.

"I am fine." Dylan yelled.

"People that get high and play with guns are not fine." Brandon said looking him straight in the eye.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Dylan said as his high was wearing off.

"Sure…we aren't going anywhere." Ellen said as she looked around at the group. Dylan shook his head as he headed to the bathroom. As the gang sat quiet waiting for him to get out.

Brenda took a deep breath as she stood in the driveway and looked around, she knew when the intervention had been planned and tried to get a flight so she could at least make it, even if she was a bit late. She looked around seeing everyone's cars there and bit her lip gently. After telling her friends about the circumstance with Dylan they had offered to pay for her ticket home, which Brenda declined but after Olivia offered her miles she had through British airways, Olivia and her family traveled so much and racked up miles and points so often, her family would not even miss them, she agreed. Brenda walked up the porch with a small suitcase and gently opened the front door. She slowly set down her bag and looked at all the eyes in the living room. She looked around for Dylan not seeing him.

"What are you doing here?" Jim said angrily.

"Brandon told me about the intervention and I wanted to be a part of it." Brenda said defensively.

"Brandon? I thought we agreed we would keep this from."

"From me? Why? Dylan is just as important to me as he is any of you, I wanted to be here." Brenda said sternly to her father.

Cindy rested her hand on Jim's shoulder, "What about school honey?"

"I am not missing anything, I have to be back in London for rehearsals by Monday. I am only missing two classes and I have my roommate Olivia taking notes for me." Brenda concluded.

As Jim was about to rip Brenda a new one, Ellen interrupted and introduced herself. "I'm Ellen, I'm glad you are here, are you a good friend of Dylan's?"

Brenda shook her hand and gave her a quick nod. "This is my sister Brenda, she went out with Dylan for a few years and they have remained friends." Brandon gave a quick introduction.

"Well welcome dear." she stood to the side as Brenda made her way through the living room giving everyone a small smile and standing next to Steve, away from her father. "I had told everyone to write down or think of an instance when Dylan had hurt you because of his drinking, If you want to take a few minutes to collect your thoughts, you can tell him." Ellen said nicely.

Brenda nodded looking at everyone who had no idea what her relationship with Dylan had been. Ellen turned toward the bathroom door as it opened and Dylan made his way back into the archway of the living room. Brenda was small and she purposely stood behind Steve and Nat. "Alright fine…I am back, lets carry on the guilt trips." Dylan said feeling better after picking his high back up again. Donna preceded to tell him how much respect she had lost for him for ruining her mothers fund raiser, she told him he was always like a brother to her and how she didn't want to remember him as the drunk.

Andrea expressed her sadness for Dylan not ever coming to visit her daughter and how sad that made her that he was too smart to drop out of school.

Kelly finally spoke up, "Look Dylan, I know we didn't have the easiest time together, but at least when you were sober you had more dignity than the guy I saw licking salt off the neck of a glorified hooker."

Brenda crossed her arms and looked down.

"Did you do that to humiliate me? To get me back for falling in love with someone else? Cause if you did, it worked, it was humiliating." Kelly's eyes started to tear as she sat back looking at him but Dylan wouldn't look her in the eye.

"It isn't about you, you always think its about you." Dylan finally made eye contact with her.

"Look maybe not, but this is about you Dylan and how your using affects people, it hurts people." Jim said crossing his arms.

"Is that what its about Jim? About me? About me being the scum of the earth, I am not good enough for Brenda, I am not good enough for you to manage my money. Because as far as I can see its always been about you guys, how you feel about me, how it will benefit you. You guys need me like this because then it makes your lives look perfect and shiny. You guys will realize you need me to be sick. It's always about you, you guys don't care about anyone but yourself and lately none of you have been there for me."

"That's not true." Brenda said quietly stepping out from behind Steve. She bit her lip gently as tears filled her eyes. "I have always been there for you, and you have always been there for me, when we are together its always about you and me, about us as a team."

Dylan stood stunned as his mouth dropped slightly, "Bren?" he whispered.

Brenda moved a couple steps closer toward him, "What are you doing here?" he said quietly staring into her eyes.

"I came for you." Brenda said tilting her head slightly looking at him. "Now I don't have stories and your recent drinking and drugs has not affected me directly because I haven't been here, but it has indirectly. When Brandon told me you were using and you were drunk, my heart broke for you because I couldn't reach out to you. I may not have been here to see you slowly waste away but I was there when you called me a couple days ago, drunk, begging me to help you. Telling me you need me and here I am. I came for you…so did you lie to me or do you need me?" Brenda didn't look at anyone else but him. She knew everyone's eyes were on them, wondering, waiting but she didn't care.

Dylan looked down still in shock from even seeing her. He didn't say anything.

"We packed a bag for you, and there is a bed waiting for you in a very good hospital."

Dylan interrupted as his head popped up, "That's not going to happen…I am not going to no hospital…I go to meetings, I'll talk to people but I am not going to a hospital. I'll handle this myself."

"I am not so sure about that." Ellen said being honest with him.

"You're not sure." Dylan looked around, "That's what all you guys want?" Dylan walked up to Brenda and stood in front of her. She slowly raised her chin looking into his eyes, "Is that what want?" he said directly to her. "Is it?" he said softly, moving a piece of her hair behind her ear causing Brenda to close her eyes.

Dylan looked around again, everyone just stood there and watched him, "Can I talk to Brenda…in private?" Dylan asked Ellen but directed his question at Jim. "Please?"

Brenda swallowed hard and looked toward her father who shrugged and gave him a nod. Dylan reached down gently taking Brenda's hand as he led her through the foyer, into the kitchen and out the back door.

"What's going on with them?" Steve said confused.

Brandon took a deep breath and looked at Kelly before speaking up, "Brenda and Dylan got back together before she left for RADA. That's all I really know." Kelly looked down biting the inside of her lip.

Dylan shut the backdoor behind her as they stepped down into the patio. Dylan looked at Brenda as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. After a minute she felt his arms wrap around her waist pulling her closer to him. Dylan shut his eyes and inhaled her, "I missed you." he whispered into her neck.

"I missed you too." Brenda pulled out slowly, "Dylan…you're going to go right?"

"How long are you here for?"

"Monday." Brenda said sadly.

"I'll go when you leave." Dylan tried to make a deal.

Brenda shook her head running her fingers through his hair, "No baby, you have to go now."

Dylan looked out into the backyard and took a deep breath, "Can I go tomorrow? Will you stay with me tonight…please? You can take me yourself, I haven't seen you in months, please?"

Brenda thought about it, "I don't want to be with you drunk or high, Dylan."

Dylan interrupted her, he knew she wasn't done, "No, no booze…no drugs, just you…please?"

Brenda looked at him and took a deep breath, Ok…if Ellen says ok, I will."

"Ok." Dylan said softly even giving her a small smile. He leaned in giving her a soft peck on her lips taking both her hands in his. Brenda led him back into the living room as everyone at this point was standing up looking at them. He looked down at Brenda before meeting the eyes of his friends. "I'll go." Dylan noticed a few smiles in the group, "On one condition…Brenda takes me…tomorrow."

"No…no way Dylan." Jim said hastily.

"Dad." Brenda eyed him and then gave her attention to Ellen. "Is it ok? I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I will watch him for the night and I will bring him to the hospital tomorrow."

"I don't know, this might be a lot for you to handle honey, Dylan is an addict, he may have withdrawals, he may become abusive."

"Absolutely not." Jim said loudly crossing her arms.

"I would never lay a hand on her." Dylan raised his voice defensively looking at Jim.

"He would never hurt me, I know him." Brenda said to Ellen.

"If you think you're up for it, I don't have a problem with it, as long as you go Dylan."

"That's the only way I will go. Take it or leave it." Dylan said coldly to his friends.

The gang looked at each other not knowing what to say exactly. Brandon was the first one to speak up, reassuring his parents he was only a phone call away, and he knew Brenda better than to think she would do otherwise if she was in trouble or if Dylan did not keep his word. After some discussion, they decided it was important for Dylan to go and if he wanted to spend time with Brenda before saying goodbye to her again, then it was worth it.

_Ok now how realistic this is I don't know. I watch the actual show intervention and only once did I see one of the interventionists actually let the person go tomorrow but I did want Brenda and Dylan to bond a bit, connect so to speak again before she goes back. Anyway tell me if you are hating it, liking it. I feel like most people were very hesitant about this story to begin with and I am hoping people are enjoying it. I know in the real s5 Shannen was gone and they needed to move on without "Brenda" but in my version there is no way Brenda would not be there for Dylan. And she may have been able to help him like she used to too. So anyway, let me know what your thinking._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 Addicted to You**

Brandon had driven Dylan and Brenda to his house, dropping them off. He had a feeling Kelly was not all that happy with the Brenda and Dylan news but Brandon being the understanding guy he was generally assumed it was more the shock and nothing more and decided to let it sink in, giving her some alone time. As Brandon pulled up to Dylan's house, he gently pulled back Brenda's arm as she was about to get out of the car.

"Call me…you don't have to do this by yourself if you have problems. He isn't the same guy he was last year."

"He is Brandon, he is still Dylan, he is just having a tough time. I'll be fine and I will call you if I have any problems."

Brandon reluctantly nodded his head; he was the first person to stick up for them this time. Part of him felt badly that he hadn't the years before but he still worried about his sister, also Brandon had never seen Dylan this bad and he had tried everything in his power and nothing had worked. If Brenda could get to him then good and they all would have succeeded just by wanting him to get better. Brenda carried her bag up to his house as Dylan opened the door letting them in. Brenda shook her head looking around at the mess. His house had empty beer bottles, food and clothes thrown everywhere. It looked like Dylan hadn't opened his mail in months.

"Sorry…it's really messy right now." Dylan was embarrassed as he grabbed clothes off the floor and futon.

"It's ok...Are you hungry?" Brenda asked concerned for him.

"Not really, are you?"

"I could eat." Brenda really wasn't all that hungry but she thought it would be a good idea to get some food into his system. "Why don't you take a shower get washed up and I will order us something, pizza okay?" Brenda gave him a smile and Dylan nodded at her.

Dylan nervously stood there looking at her; she had been gone for so long. He wanted to be with her, like old times but he knew that probably wouldn't happen because of the circumstances, even though he hadn't thought about drinking or anything else for that matter since seeing her. After staring at her for several minutes he spoke up. "I can't really believe you are here."

"I know." Brenda smiled at him, "I can't believe it either, I wish it was under better circumstances though."

Dylan looked at Brenda with pleading eyes and she noticed the lump in his throat move. He moved in swiftly not saying anything moving both hands to her face and bringing her in and kissing her hard and rushed. Dylan moved his hand down the back of her head as he eagerly kissed her. Brenda tried to kiss him back but it was hard to keep up with him. Brenda pulled away to catch her breath but she felt Dylan grab her hand and lead her toward the bedroom.

"Wait…Dylan." Brenda gently pulled her hand back. "We can't." Brenda looked at him sadly and shook her head.

"Why not?" Dylan seemed so childlike.

"Because…you are going to rehab tomorrow, I am leaving on Monday. It will just make it harder to say goodbye." Brenda looked down not looking into his eyes. She moved slowly over to the futon and sat down.

Dylan took a deep breath and moved next to her. He leaned down forcing her to look at him, "It's going to be hard to say goodbye no matter what. I haven't seen you in months and I don't know when I am going to see you again. I miss you." Dylan swallowed hard not sure he could take spending the whole night with her without being with her. After a long pause, "Make love to me Bren."

Brenda sat quiet looking away from him. She gently started biting on her lower lip.

"Please."

Brenda looked up toward the fireplace and stared straight ahead. She got up and walked over to the phone and picked it up. Dylan followed her with his eyes and watched her call someone.

"What are you doing?" Dylan asked interested.

"Ordering pizza." Brenda smiled, "I am hungry."

Dylan smirked and got up and walked toward her. As Brenda was on hold, she looked up at him. He ran his fingers across her cheek and leaned in kissing it softly. "I am glad you're here, thank you." He whispered.

Brenda watched Dylan walk toward the bathroom, "Leave the door unlocked." Brenda said seriously.

Dylan eyebrows shot up as he gave her a smirk. "Oh really?" he said seductively.

"So I can get your dirty clothes and wash them and apparently your dirty mind." She gave him a look.

"Damn." Dylan said disappointed only half joking.

"I am here…" she started talking to the guy on the phone. Dylan smirked again and walked toward her as she had her back toward him. He placed his hands on her hips, pulling her butt roughly into him as he thrust against her. She fumbled over her words as he began to kiss down her neck, wrapping his arms around her waist, moving them up her shirt and across her abdomen.

"That." Brenda closed her eyes, "will be cash…uh huh…thanks." Brenda tried to set the phone on the table but since her eyes closed she missed as it fell to the ground. Dylan tightened his embrace moving to the back of her neck, gliding his lips and tongue against her skin. Brenda exhaled feeling his hands softly slide higher under her shirt. "Dylan." She breathed out, "You aren't making this easy for me."

"That's the general idea." He smirked in between kisses.

Brenda turned around in his embrace and looked at him. There was a sparkle in his eye that wasn't there before at her parent's house or in the yard. It was the same one he had always had but she noticed it was gone when she first saw him at the intervention. Brenda was hesitating because she didn't know if she could let him go again, whether they made love or not. They both leaned in as their lips hit, hard and fast they encouraged each other. The kiss this time was passionate and intense and Brenda was ready for it because hers was too.

Brenda pushed him away from her as she moaned in disapproval, her eyes still closed, "Go…let me clean this place up."

Dylan smiled at her frustration but did what she asked.

Brenda groaned loudly, shaking her head as she began cleaning up his house. Brenda was on a mission. She had straightened up the living room in minutes, moving to the kitchen and then to Dylan's bedroom which was where she had stuffed all the clothes that were tossed all over the house. She slowly opened the bathroom door as Dylan pulled the curtain back all the way with a smile.

"Did you change your mind?" he smirked and raised his brow.

Brenda laughed as she moved her eyes down his naked body, she shook her head and bent down picking up Dylan's dirty clothes, "You don't know when to give up do you?" she smiled.

Dylan pretended to think for a moment, he looked at her with a small sexy smile, "Mmmm…no." He continued to stare at her and his expression turned serious, "Not when it comes to you."

Brenda stared into his eyes taking a deep breath as her eyes wondered down him again. She sighed shaking her head as she carried Dylan's dirty clothes in her arms leaving the bathroom and shutting the door. "I saw that…you were looking, I saw you." Dylan yelled from the shower causing her to laugh.

Brenda carried Dylan's clothes to washer and started empting pockets as she threw them in the machine. She felt something and pulled it out slowly revealing a folded piece of paper. She lowered the jeans into the wash and started to open the small folded rectangle revealing a white powder substance. Brenda stared down at it and shook her head disappointed. She carefully folded it back up setting it to the side as she tensely loaded the machine and began the load. She slowly picked up the drugs and walked into Dylan's bedroom sitting down on the bed. She realized something at that moment and it made her heartbroken, no matter how good it was to see Dylan, no matter how much she missed him, Dylan had a problem and after the initial excitement of seeing each other, the flirting, the amazing kisses, Dylan was after all still an addict. For the first time Brenda regretted staying in London, or maybe even going. Since she had been back Dylan had acted fine, he wasn't acting like someone who had a problem but he obviously did. Brenda continued to sit on the bed looking down as Dylan made his way out of the bathroom.

Dylan walked out with a towel around his waist and one around his shoulders, he first headed into the living room assuming she would be there. He looked around and smiled, Brenda had been there for less than an hour and his house was spotless. He made his way into his bedroom and saw her sitting on his bed.

"You're exactly where I hoped you would be." Dylan said with a smile.

Brenda kept her eyes on the floor as she held the drugs in her hand. Dylan slowly moved next to her sitting on the bed.

"What's wrong?" he gently placed his hand on her back.

"What is this?" Brenda looked at him in the eyes and held out her hand.

Dylan's eyes lowered to her hand and took a deep breath. "I forgot about that." he took it from her and squeezed his palm tight. "Bren…" he began.

"I am so stupid…I was so happy to be here with you I kind of forgot the point. It's different now." Brenda said sadly looking back toward the floor.

Dylan shook his head and sighed, "No…it's not. I feel exactly the same about you. This…doesn't matter to me." Dylan held up the cocaine in between his fingers. "You do."

"Dylan…you are going to rehab, you have been messed up for months." Brenda looked at him sadly. "You slept with someone else." she swallowed slowly. "Someone I grew up with, not counting what other whore's there were." Brenda said resentful. "I don't even know you anymore."

Dylan looked down ashamed, "I only slept with Valerie…and you know me better than anyone." he said quietly. He looked over at her waiting for her eyes to meet his but she didn't look at him. He slowly got up walking over to his closet grabbing some clothes and changing into them. He walked over to her and held out his hand, "Come with me." Brenda finally looked at him as she placed her hand in his. Dylan held her hand tightly as he led her into the bathroom. He stood next to the toilet and turned to face her. He held up the cocaine and dropped it in the toilet. Brenda watched as his eyes never left hers, he reached down and held down the handle as the drugs flushed away. Still holding her hand he lightly pulled her into the kitchen pulling down a bottle of Jack Daniels from the cupboard. He let go of her hand for a second to twist the cap off, pouring it down the sink. He left Brenda in the kitchen as he opened the drawer and cabinet under his china cabinet and brought in 3 bottles, a scotch, a vodka and a whiskey. Brenda watched him pour every ounce of liquor down the sink. Brenda didn't even hesitate as she embraced him tightly. She closed her eyes and felt him pull her in even tighter. "Thank you." he whispered.

She leaned out looking up at him and gave him a small smile. "I didn't do anything." she said modestly.

"You have done more than you will ever know."

The silence filled the room and Brenda and Dylan swore if they listened closely they could hear their hearts beating. They weren't sure who started it but they were kissing, slowly and passionately. It was soft and romantic and then it got more heated. Brenda soon felt Dylan's hands grabbing and squeezing her tightly. Then the door bell rang and both of them smiled mid kiss they both found it funny they were interrupted.

"Pizza." they both said at the same time with a smirk, breaking from their embraces. Brenda reached into her back pocket and handed him a twenty. Dylan went and answered the door while Brenda walked back into the bedroom and laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. Dylan set the pizza box on the kitchen table and went into the bedroom leaning against the door frame as he watched her. He slowly moved in closer to her and laid beside her.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked not looking at him.

"You don't want to know." Dylan smirked.

Brenda smiled but her smile faded as she spoke up, "Did you drink today?"

Dylan shook his head, "No."

"What abut the drugs, whatever it was did you do that today?"

Dylan swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "It was coke…and yeah, earlier I did."

Brenda moved closer to him, shifting to her side as she cuddled into his chest. "How does it make you feel, just awake?"

Dylan thought about it, "Yeah that and it makes you a bit anxious, excited, talkative…numb…wait why?" Dylan said confused.

"How long does it last?"

"The peak is in the beginning maybe 20 minutes or so, and it can last up to an hour, depending on how much you do….Brenda why do you want to know?" Dylan was getting concerned.

Brenda leaned onto her elbow as she looked down at him, "Because I want to do this." she leaned in and kissed him again hard. "And I want to make sure its you."

"It's me." Dylan watched as Brenda stared at him, almost like she was making sure the guy staring back at her was indeed him. She lifted her shirt up over her head, leaning down and kissing him. Dylan sat up keeping his lips against her. With one hand he pulled his t-shirt over his head as well, moving on next to his pants, pushing them down swiftly. He moved over her, unbuttoning her jeans and carefully pulling them down as Brenda raised her butt off the bed allowing them to come off easily. Dylan slowly stared down at her as he moved over her, laying perfectly in between her legs as though they were made for him.

They made love, kissing and caressing each other, not really sure why or even if was a good idea. And sadly they both didn't care. They weren't sure if and when they would see each other again.

Dylan breathed into her ear as he lowered himself closer to her, "God I missed you, I could stay like this forever." he whispered in between soft moans and breaths.

"I missed you too." Brenda whispered back. "I don't know if I am going to be able to leave you." Brenda got his attention as he leaned up so his face was before hers.

"Then don't." he stopped moving with her and said it seriously.

Brenda looked into his eyes and gave him a small smile. She opened her mouth and closed them on his lips. She ran her hands down his back as they took over where they had left off.

_I debated with myself if I was going to have them have sex. I went back and forth over and over. And what can I say, the love I have for the couple took over. I am a sucker for a good B/D bedroom scene and I really wanted to make it a point to have it seem like since Brenda is back, he is doing ok. I mean obviously addictions and the problems he is having with the lack of money and Erica doesn't go away but like he said on their second date…"Why is it…when I am with you I can forget about everything?" *sigh* Please review and let me know your thoughts. I mean I have to add in B/D fluff whenever I can right? Especially with a story called Love Letters._


	11. Chapter 11

_Rated mature for some adult situations :-) Just putting it out there lol_

**Chapter 11 Invisible Lines and Changing Plans**

Dylan stared at the ceiling. It was six o'clock in the morning and he wasn't even sure if he actually ever dozed off. He looked over at Brenda. She was sleeping so soundly and she looked so peaceful and beautiful. Dylan sighed looking back toward the ceiling. How do you tell someone that you care about to give up their dream because you need them? And the answer Dylan had told himself over and over, you can't. After several minutes Dylan looked over at Brenda again but this time she was looking back at him.

"Have you been up for a while?" Brenda said straight faced as she looked at him.

Dylan slowly nodded his head, "I don't even think I went to sleep." Dylan said sadly not breaking their stare.

Brenda moved closer to him and set her head on his chest. She felt Dylan's tight embrace wrap around her mid section. He softly caressed her abdomen with his finger tips. "What's wrong baby, you nervous?"

"No…rehab doesn't scare me." Dylan took a deep breath, "Your leaving does."

Brenda lifted her head and looked up at him, resting her chin on her hand as she laid it on his chest. "Me too." She said quietly. As Brenda looked into Dylan's eyes she could tell he was holding back, she saw hesitation and fear but as she looked at him she expected him to tell her but he never did. "Talk to me…please." She finally got out after several minutes of stares and silence.

Dylan started to get up quickly, "It's nothing." He shook his head not able to look at her anymore; he knew she knew he was lying. Dylan sat on the edge of the bed with his back toward her as be began to stick one leg at a time into his boxer shorts pulling them up covering himself.

Brenda slowly sat up taking the covers with her covering herself. She reached out placing her hand on his shoulder as he turned slightly looking down at it. "Hey…it's so early, why are you getting out of bed already." Brenda tried to lighten the mood. "You don't have to be at hospital until later, can't I stay in bed with you all day?" she said in a flirty tone.

Dylan looked away from her hand and stared straight ahead, "I am going to get some breakfast for us and I should probably just go in, what's the difference between now and later." He said with little emotion getting up.

"Dylan?" Brenda said hurt. Dylan turned toward her hearing the wounded spirit in her voice. "The difference is being with me." She finished.

Dylan bit his lower lip looking down, "It doesn't matter Bren." He almost smirked, "Does it matter if we stay in bed, does it matter if we lay here making love all day and being together? No…the bottom line is you are leaving. You don't live here and no matter how we feel about each other it isn't going to change that fact."

Brenda swallowed the lump she had in her throat from holding back tears, "Dylan…I love you, and…" Brenda looked down, "It matters to me."

"What do you want me to say Brenda?" Dylan raised his voice.

Brenda was taken back by his tone, "Nothing…I just wanted you to come back to bed." Brenda said innocently and defensively.

Dylan ignored her comment, "What do you want me to do?" he threw out his hands and started moving about his room quickly scooping up his clothes. "I mean…what the hell do you expect from me?" He continued to yell at her and put articles of his clothing on, "You want me to tell you, how much I miss you. How much I love you and how I don't want you to leave. How I have not felt this alive since the last time we were together. How I don't want to have a long distance relationship with you. I want you here and that even though I know you love acting, you can act here...That I need you and maybe I am a selfish prick but I don't care, that the thought of you leaving makes me want to get drink again." He finally looked at her. "Is that want you want me to say?" Dylan yelled, "Cause I am not going to do that." Dylan walked out of his bedroom.

Brenda bit the side of her cheek as the tears rushed her eyes, "You just did." She said under her breath, as she nervously played with the sheets between her fingers. Brenda took a deep breath and fell back on the bed. She turned to her side and started to cry. She blamed herself for Dylan getting to this point in his addiction. He knew if she was here she could have helped him even after the news about his money and sister. He was alone and had to deal with it by himself, like he had before they met. It was the only way he knew how to deal with things before the Walsh's came along. Now Brenda was leaving in 3 days and again Dylan would be alone, to deal with it, without her.

Dylan sat on his couch feeling like a complete asshole for yelling at her. He was tired, he was depressed, he was a little shaky from the lack of alcohol and he lost it. But then again he was right, what did she expect him to do? She was leaving and even though the night before, Brenda was the hesitant one not wanting to cross the line because of this very reason. Dylan was a guy and all he wanted was to make love to her, because she had been gone for so long and he was in love with her. There wasn't a time when Dylan didn't want to be with her. Even when he was with Kelly, he thought about sex with Brenda sometimes, or kissing Brenda if he randomly saw her at school or at the pit. He was attracted to her of course he would want to have sex with her. Now after enjoying each other, Dylan realized just exactly why Brenda was hesitant to begin with. Saying goodbye was harder now, they were more connected. Sex made them physically connected not just emotionally and Dylan didn't know how to handle it. Dylan turned toward the bedroom hearing the soft sniffles of Brenda crying and his heart sank. He shook his head and got up slowly walking to the doorway.

"Bren?" he said guilty, "Don't cry."

"I am fine." Brenda said quickly wiping her face with her back turned to him but he saw it.

Dylan moved into the bedroom, "You're not fine. I am an asshole, I am sorry." He sat on the bed and rested his hand on her hip.

"Just leave me alone Dylan, I am fine." Brenda lied again.

"No…I can't do that." Dylan spoke softly and moved in closer lying beside her. He took her in his arms as he spooned his body close to hers. Brenda weakened in his embrace as she closed her eyes.

"I knew we shouldn't have had sex, it's too much like it was before. Its harder now." Brenda broke down again, "I ma sorry, everything is my fault, I never should have left, I should have been with you this summer, none of this ever would have happened." Brenda cried.

"Hey." Dylan pulled her so she was on her back as her head turned to see him. "It's not your fault."

"It is…you would have never gotten this out of control if I was here and you know it." Dylan hushed her with a hard kiss. Brenda breathed out as his lips covered hers. Dylan gently moved his tongue against hers ending with their lips tightly pressed together, lingering there for a moment and slowly pulling apart. They began to get lost in each other's eyes again.

"I make my own mistakes Bren, nobody forces me to be in the positions that I get into." Dylan said sweetly taking his hand and running in down the top of her head stopping it at her ear and neck. "It's a cop out blaming it on other people and I am not going to do it anymore. It's a crutch, I am drinking but its only because my father died, I am drinking because my mother is driving me crazy, its old and yes the money thing and Erica hit me hard and no it didn't help not having you around but the only person I can blame for my fuck up's is me. You are just the one that cleans them up." Dylan reached down and took her hand bringing it to his lips and then looked down at it, caressing it softly with his. "I am sorry Bren." He said softly looking her in the eyes again. "I don't want to make you cry like that again."

Brenda just looked at him; little did he know most of her crying over the last couple of years had been because of him. When you care about someone as much as she cared for him, it's hard not too. She nodded her head slowly and went in kissing him again. They tenderly made out for a little while, not sure whether they should cross the line again but both wanting to and making it harder as things got heated. There was something about Dylan that every woman should know, but Brenda was more than happy if they didn't. He smelled good, not even a cologne smell, it was natural and inviting. His kiss, whether it was rough, soft or passionate it was always intense. It was never sloppy or rushed, it was intoxicating and he dominated you with his lips, a simple kiss could make your legs feel like jelly and just like that he had you. His touch was gentle and soft. He knew how to use the tips of his fingers to glide across your skin, causing your whole body to feel the effects of it. His eyes were intense and dark. He had a stare with mystery behind it. They made you feel like he could see right through you and they made you want him. And lastly without getting completely graphic, sexually Dylan was amazing. He knew where to kiss, where to touch, he knew all of Brenda's favorite spots and he made them his favorite as well. He was never pushy or selfish when it came to sex, he was Dylan and Brenda wasn't very experienced but something told her that not all guys were like him. She had even hoped he wasn't like that with all girls. Brenda's mind came back to the present as she jumped slightly feeling Dylan's kissing traveling down her body. It wasn't that Dylan had never explored that area with his mouth before, actually it was a frequent thing but it wasn't making out anymore, it was moving toward the sex again.

The phone began to ring as Brenda breathed out, she hadn't stopped him yet, mostly because it felt nice. "Dylan." She whispered but didn't get a response. "You should get that." She hinted not being very forceful about it. They both heard the recorder click on.

"Hey this is Dylan…you know the drill…Beep."

"Hey guys, are you there…its Brandon, I got a call from Ellen and I need to talk to you…hello?"

"Dylan…get the phone." Brenda pushed him away from her.

"No…you get it, I am busy." Dylan smirked as he continued to explore her body with his hands and mouth.

Brenda sighed and turned to her side picking up the phone, "Brandon…you still there?"

"Yeah…Bren…you ok? What took so long to pick up?"

"Ah…yeah…I am fine, I was just." Brenda smiled looking at Dylan which now was before her smirking at her, "I was…asleep." she lied.

"Oh…well Ellen called and wanted me to see how Dylan was doing and how the night was, she also said she would us at the hospital by 2:00." Brandon was thankfully oblivious.

"Dylan…is fine." Brenda smiled moving away from him as he tried to kiss her. She looked at him and mouthed _stop. _Dylan shook his head playfully, going in and placing kisses on her neck.

"Well…ok I will be over by 1:30 so we can head over there then, is that cool?"

Brenda's eyes got wide as she felt Dylan's hand moving in between her legs, now he was just trying to be an ass while she was on the phone, Brenda closed her eyes holding her breath, "Yep, Brand…cool…its totally cool." Brenda was stuttering

Brandon looked at the phone and frowned his brow, "Ok." he said oddly, "bye?"

Brenda hung up and exhaled, "Oh my God you are mean." Brenda pulled away from him with a smile. She pulled the sheets with her and sat up with her back against the head board.

"What? What did I do?" Dylan said playfully.

"You know what you did…and now that I am off the phone you have my full attention." Brenda smiled.

"Oh really?" Dylan grabbed Brenda around the waist pulling her down so her back hit the mattress causing Brenda to giggle. Brenda took her hand and ran her fingers across Dylan's cheek. She looked into his eyes as he gave her a small smirk.

"I thought we weren't going to cross the line." Brenda broke a smile.

Dylan smiled and raised her eyebrows, "We already did." he gave her a cute shrug, "You and I both know the line was never there." Dylan captured her lips with his. Rolling onto his back taking her with him so she dominated him.

**

Brenda hurried from the bedroom, "Coming." she called out before opening the door, "Hey." she smiled at her brother and let him in.

Brandon looked at his sister, she looked ok, Brandon had spent most of the night tossing and turning worrying about her but she looked…happy. "Hey." he said back with a small smile, "Is he…ready?"

Brenda crossed her arms and looked toward the bedroom, "Yeah…he is." she said with a sigh.

"Did everything go ok?"

Brenda smiled, "yeah…everything went fine. Brandon…stop, he is still Dylan, stop acting like he is this stranger you have to protect me from."

Brandon held up his hands, "Ok…ok I am sorry, I know. I am just glad he is going."

"Me too." Brenda smiled at Brandon.

"Bren…here is my key to the house and my key to the Porsche." Dylan said looking down taking the keys off his ring, "Be careful if you drive my car." Dylan looked up with a smile seeing Brandon. "Oh hey, I didn't hear the door." Dylan stopped next to Brenda handing over the keys.

Brandon smiled, "You are actually letting Brenda have the keys to the Porsche?" Brandon let out a laugh, "What are you going to drive it around Bren for the next few days?"

Brenda looked at Dylan and took a deep breath, "No…I am just going to take care of stuff around here while Dylan is gone." she said nonchalantly.

Brandon looked at them back and forth, "Oh ok…but Dylan is going to be in rehab for two weeks…want me to take in your mail dude after Bren leaves for London on Sunday night?"

"Uh…" Brenda interrupted Dylan.

"Actually…I am not leaving Sunday." Brenda said looking at Dylan.

"Really, you get to stay longer, that's cool, did rehearsals get cancelled or something?"

"Actually I am not going back at all...I am going to live here." Brenda swallowed hard looking at Brandon.

Brandon looked at Brenda and Dylan, he watched Dylan wrap his arm around Brenda's waist. Brandon shook his head, "Brenda? Are you crazy?" Brandon said making it obvious of his disapproval.

"Look Bran." Dylan chimed in.

"Dylan." Brandon held up his hand and focused on Brenda, "Brenda…you are throwing away your chance to study at RADA? For Dylan? And you are going to live here, with him?" Brandon was in shock regretting even telling her about the situation with Dylan. He should had known better.

"Where do you suppose I live Brandon? Mom and dad gave my room to Valerie, do you actually think I would share a room with her?" Brenda said with attitude.

"Why you don't mind sharing Dylan apparently."

Brenda fumed, "Shut up Brandon, its none of your business, like telling Dylan I had a boyfriend when I didn't."

"Hey…guys, stop." Dylan got between them, "Brandon, Brenda and I got back together before she was leaving for London, we kept in touch for the most part and after talking about it, we want to be together, she is going to see if she can audition to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in Pasadena."

Brandon smirked and shook his head, "We should go." he turned and walked out of Dylan's house.

Brenda looked at Dylan and took a deep breath, he got closer to her, "It will be ok. He'll get over it." Brenda nodded in agreement grabbing her purse as Dylan grabbed his bag and closed his front door heading to Brandon's car.

_WOAH, who is confused, who is happy, who is shocked lol Just keep reading *evil grins* oh and REVIEW please. I love them!! Stay tuned for LTC, maybe even tonight, tomorrow for sure. Putting the finishing touches on after this is posted. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 The S**T Hits The Fan**

Silence filled the car as Brandon drove to the treatment center Ellen had set up for Dylan. He felt the glances coming from Brandon through the rearview mirror and because Brandon and him really hadn't made up officially for how he had treated him in the peak of his addiction he didn't say anything or call him on it. He pretended not to notice, instead he caught Brenda's eye as she would turn and look at him periodically and give him a small smile. Dylan smiled back raising his eyebrows at her and motioning with his head to move to the back seat. She rubbed her lips together moving her lipstick around and looked over at Brandon. He looked at her quickly as Brenda looked away just as swiftly. What did she care, she was so mad at Brandon right now she didn't give a crap what his opinion was at this point. She began to climb and squeeze herself through the driver's seat and passenger seat.

"Oh nice. Now I am a chauffeur." Brandon said grumpily.

"Yep." Brenda said with a teasing smile.

Dylan wrapped his arms around her cuddling and bringing her close to him. She leaned up kissing him long and hard knowing that they were getting close to the treatment center. "Mmmm." Dylan groaned, "You taste good." He whispered.

Brandon sighed loudly and shook his head. Brenda and Dylan leaned out from each other and looked over at him, "What exactly is your problem Brandon?" Brenda spoke up raising her voice.

"Nothing." Brandon lied not very believably.

"I don't get it, why do you even care?" Brenda said sighing.

"Fine…you know what my problem is Bren…I had to listen to dad bitch at me the whole night about letting you in on Dylan's intervention and then you pull a stunt like this. I put myself out for you. Can't you ever just be normal, why do you have to be so theatrical about everything you do?"

Brenda shrugged and looked at Dylan before looking back at Brandon, "Because I am an actress." Brenda felt Dylan laugh under her breath at her smart ass comment.

"Yeah…well maybe you actually would be if you stayed at RADA." Brandon said harshly.

Brenda was in no mood to fight with Brandon, the truth was her and Brandon had not been close in over a year and even though they loved each other, she was neither surprised nor hurt by him being such a jerk. "Why do you care?" she repeated, "As if you have cared about anything I have been doing since we started college. This…believe it or not Brandon has nothing to do with you…not like everything always has been; you're just being a selfish prick." Brenda felt Dylan squeeze her tighter. And Brenda regretted the name calling. She loved her brother, but everything she was saying was true.

"I am selfish?" Brandon raised his voice, "Do you know what this is going to do to mom and dad?" Brandon took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He pulled into the treatment center parking lot and parked the Mustang. He turned around to look at her, "Brenda…I have always been there for you, I watched and heard you cry your eyes out the entire end of senior year and college because of him, I saw you go from happy and social to quiet and reserved."

Brandon looked at Dylan quickly but Dylan looked down at Brenda, "Is that true?" Dylan whispered close to her ear. Brenda just looked at him not answering. Dylan knew he hurt her but he had always assumed she was more mad at him then actually heartbroken, well crying heartbroken that was. She had never cried to him before or called him professing her love for him or even asked questions about it. She put up a good front and even after questioning his decision in choosing to date Kelly a few times, Brenda never once let on that Dylan would had even have a 2nd chance. In fact until Brenda told him that she would have taken him back in a second after everything, the summer, Dylan being with Kelly, he never knew how she felt about the whole situation until that day before poetry class. He never saw her sad or depressed and he didn't see the social to reserved difference either. Was Dylan just too busy being a jerk, he didn't notice?

"I also have known you my whole life, and you have always had the same dream…to study acting and hopefully do it for a living. I am not being selfish, I just want what's best for you and honestly, I love you with Dylan, no matter what has happened between us lately, he is one of my closest friends. I just would hate to see you throw away the opportunity at RADA, I think you will regret it." Brandon spoke calmly and nicely, he just wanted to get his point across without fighting. Brandon got out of the car saying he would let them know Dylan was there.

Brenda looked down and took a deep breath. She didn't say anything, mostly because she was a little embarrassed Brandon had said some of things in front of Dylan. The truth was when all that happened in high school, yes Brenda was angry at Dylan but she was heartbroken as well. She didn't want him to know that he literally ruined her life at that moment. She at the time didn't want to give Kelly or Dylan the satisfaction.

"Bren." Dylan slowly spoke, "I am sorry..." his voice shaking with emotion.

Brenda interrupted, "Dylan…stop, it was a long time ago…and it doesn't matter does it? We are together now."

Dylan looked at her sweetly and nodded slowly, "What Brandon said…are you sure you don't want to go back to London? I understand if you do and I would never want you to resent me one day…"

Brenda pressed her lips firmly against his and closed her eyes; she kissed him hard and gently released his lips from hers, "I want to be with you." She reassured him.

Dylan gave her his famous half smile as the two of them got out of the car. They watched as Brandon walked out with Ellen.

"Nice to see you Dylan." Ellen said holding out her hand.

"You too Ellen." Dylan said meeting his hand with hers.

"Brenda." Ellen moved to her next.

"Hey." Brenda said softly.

"Are you ready?" Ellen said with a smile.

"Uh yeah…give me one sec." Dylan took Brenda's hand and led her a few feet away. He looked down at her and gently brought his hands up to Brenda's arms, rubbing them gently, "I'll see you in 2 weeks."

Brenda felt her eyes tear up as she nodded her head, "I am going to miss you." She said softly.

"I am going to miss you too Bren." Dylan leaned in and kissed her softly. They lingered there for a second, going in again and making the second kiss more intense and passionate. Dylan leaned his forehead against hers as they closed their eyes sighing softly.

Brenda strongly wrapped her arms around Dylan's neck as she hugged him tightly. Dylan smiled lightly until he heard her sobbing softly. "Hey…Hey." Dylan whispered leaning out from her. He took his fingers moving her hair behind her ear and wiping one of the tears that had glided down her cheek. "We have been apart for months Bren, we can handle two weeks." Dylan looked into her watery eyes and tilted his head to the side.

Brenda took a deep breath, "I know." She felt him pull her in for another tight hug. "I love you." Brenda whispered.

"I love you too." Dylan looked up and ran his hand down the back of her head.

Brenda and Dylan both leaned out from one another and began planting small pecks on each others lips.

Ellen and Brandon watched from afar, "Thank god your sister came, he looks so different than yesterday, she has a good hold on him. I honestly don't think he would have agreed to come if it wasn't for her, good thinking Brandon." Ellen said softly to Brandon.

Brandon stared at his sister and long time friend, he took a deep breath exhaling, "Yeah." He said under his breath.

"You knew it would work to include her. You guys did a good job, Dylan is lucky to have so many people that love him and want him to get better. Now it's up to Dylan to work the program." Ellen said as she smiled seeing the love between Brenda and Dylan. "It won't be easy for him but something tells me he will do fine, as long as he has her."

Dylan and Brenda walked hand and hand up to where Brandon and Ellen were standing. Brenda crossed her arms standing close to her brother as Dylan moved away from her picking up his bag. "See ya, Bran." Dylan gave him an awkward smile. He swung the duffle bag strap over his shoulder and leaned in towards Brenda gently pecking her lips, "Love you Bren." He leaned out quickly.

Brenda nodded and gave him a smile, "I know…love you too." Brenda stared into his eyes. Brandon looked down feeling like a jerk. Who was Brandon to judge them and Brenda was right, it wasn't his business. He wasn't blind he knew how they felt about each other; you didn't even have to know them well to see it. He had gotten that much from Ellen, who had met both Dylan and Brenda once. But still, even though Brandon was a fan of Brenda and Dylan as a couple, he was also a fan of his sister and he wanted her to succeed and follow her dreams. Brandon was torn between the happiness that Brenda and Dylan gave to each other and the brother in him, who wanted his sister's dreams to come true.

Brenda's eyes never left him until he was in the doors and out of sight. She turned toward Brandon giving him a blank expression and then moved to the car. Brandon followed her lead as he got in and looked over at her. "Where am I taking you, home or Dylan's home?" he said in a soft tone.

Brenda swallowed hard and slowly looked over at her brother, "Home. I guess I am going to have to tell them." Brenda took a deep breath, "You know Brandon, I understand your concern and I do appreciate it and I don't expect you to have my back with mom and dad, you haven't in a long time but…"

Brandon interrupted her, "I may not agree 100% on your decision to drop out of the program at RADA, but I know I owe you loyalty and you have it. I promise."

Brenda felt her lip quiver as she looked up at Brandon, "Thanks." She said softly. It was a start and she knew Brandon was right, her parents were not going to like this news and the truth was whether she forgave Brandon entirely for being a big jerk or not, she needed him. With Dylan in rehab for two weeks she was all alone, standing up to them again. This time it meant a lot that Brandon was actually going to help her. She needed all the help she could get.

**

Brandon pulled into the driveway of the Walsh house and parked. He looked over at Brenda who was nervously looking down, "You ok?"

Brenda took a deep breath, "Yeah…I am fine. Ready?"

Brandon looked at her with a nervous smile, "As ready as you are I guess."

Both Walsh's got out of the car and looked toward the house as they climbed the steps of the porch. Brandon looked at Brenda one last time as he opened up the front door. They walked in and heard voices and noises coming from the kitchen.

"Hey." Brandon said first as they stepped down into the kitchen one after another.

"Hi guys." Brenda said shyly making eye contact with her parents.

"Hey sweetie, how did it go? Is everything ok?" Cindy said seeing Brenda's hesitation right away.

"Oh yeah, Dylan is in rehab and he didn't drink or do anything when I was with him last night. I think he will do fine."

"Good." Jim said with a small smile, "So…what are your plans? Do you want to have your friends over or are you guys planning anything? I guess it was a good excuse to visit and properly say goodbye to your friends considering you had intended to come home after the summer program." Jim tried to be supportive and nice. He wasn't all that happy with the fact Brandon had gotten Brenda involved in the Dylan fiasco but what was done was done and he was happy to see her.

Brandon looked back and forth between them as he clapped his hands together, "No, no plans yet but I am sure we can throw something together." Brandon said breaking the silence that Brenda was giving off.

Brenda nodded quickly and giving her father a small smile.

"When does your flight leave on Monday sweetie?" Cindy said nonchalantly in the middle of cutting vegetables for what Brenda assumed was for dinner.

Brenda nervously looked at Brandon and then back at her parents, "Actually…I kind of need to talk to both of you. Is now a good time?" Brenda shifted her weight as she bit the side of her lip.

Cindy knew the tone as she looked at Jim who knew the same one, "Yeah sweetie, what did you want to talk about?" Jim said nervously as he crossed his arms.

"Its about London, I have decided I am not going to go back." Brenda made eye contact with her father as she finished her sentence.

Jim laughed, "What? I thought you just said you weren't going to go back school?"

Cindy set down her knife hearing Brenda perfectly.

"That's what I said dad." Brenda concluded as she looked at Brandon.

Jim's temper fueled as he began to raise his voice, "I knew this would happen…"

"Jim…please." Cindy stopped him, "Brenda…why, what made you change your mind?" she said calmly.

"Oh come on, we know what changed her mind." Jim added.

"Jim." Cindy raised her voice a little stopping him again, "Brenda?" Cindy waited for an answer.

Brenda swallowed hard not wanting to be completely honest with them, "I just miss home, I don't like being so far away…"

"Far away from Dylan?" Jim said with his voice raised still.

Brenda exhaled out of her nose, here she went again with him, her father would never understand, "Yes…from Dylan." Brenda said loudly.

"Wishful thinking that we would be done with Dylan McKay. I can not believe you would give away your future for him…a guy that broke your heart and is in rehab for God sakes. Brenda…I did not raise you to be so irresponsible, so inconsiderate, so…"

"Dad calm down, she wants to live here in L.A., relax it's not the end of the world." Brandon shook his head, not believing his father could be so mean.

"Brandon…I don't want to hear anything from you…this is totally your fault, I told you not to bother Brenda in London, I told you not to get her involved."

"Well I did, so shoot me. It worked didn't it? That was the point to help Dylan, because we all care about him and we wanted him to get his life together, or did you forget the point of all this?" Brandon's heart was beating so fast he thought it was going to jump out of his chest.

Jim stared at his son in shock, he gave him a look before looking at Brenda again, "So…what happens now? Are you and Dylan moving in together? Are you going to live off your good looks, he's broke…it's not like he has his trust to support you."

"I was going to try out for the American Academy of Dramatic Arts here in L.A. They have a good program and I am sure I could get some good references…"

"How convenient." Jim interrupted, "And how do you suppose you're going to pay for that?"

Brenda glared at her father but spoke calmly, "I thought…"

"You thought we would pay?" Jim shook his head, "And why would we do that? You have been set up in London, you have a full scholarship, it would be incredibly stupid of you to give that up."

Brenda swallowed hard and looked down not knowing what to say, "I guess…" Brenda's voice cracked as she tried to withhold from breaking down, "I guess…I don't know." She said honestly.

"Yeah…I figured." Jim shook his head disappointed as the whole room grew silent. Cindy hadn't talked in a while, Brandon was stunned and Brenda felt overpowered.

Brenda shook her head as she turned to leave, "And where do you think you're going?" Jim yelled.

Brenda stopped as she stared at the wall, she turned slowly looking at her father, "You can't control my life anymore. Maybe not going to London is a mistake but it's _my_ mistake. If I want to stay here because of Dylan than it's my decision to make, I am almost 20 years old; I am not a kid anymore." Brenda turned quickly.

"Brenda." Cindy stopped her. "Where are you going?" Cindy said almost exhausted.

Brenda took a deep breath but didn't turn around, "I am going to stay at Dylan's." Brenda was exhausted too.

"Over my dead body." Jim didn't know when to give up.

Brenda smirked as she turned around and crossed her arms, "And where are you going to put me? You gave my room away. I love how I wasn't even talked to about Valerie living here or no one seemed to think I deserved a space here in this house for holidays and sorts. Ship her off, you won't have to listen to her anymore or worry about her anymore. But the laugh is on you because having Valerie here is a hell of a lot worse. She is a much bigger package with a much brighter bow." Brenda left the kitchen walking up the stairs to her _old_ room. There were a few things she wanted and she had hoped they were in her closet somewhere because there was no way she was going back down there to ask.

"What the hell are we going to do?" Jim said angrily looking back and forth from Cindy to Brandon.

Cindy looked down, not knowing the answer, "You are going to let her go." Brandon said calmly making eye contact with his father and leaving the kitchen as well. He hopped up to his bedroom. There was a few things he wanted to grab as well, he hadn't planned to go and spend the night at Kelly's but that was what he decided. With Brenda gone, his parents fuming, there was no way he was going to stay there and deal with it.

Brenda walked into her room and sadly looked around. It looked the same but it was so different as well. Her pictures were taken down, her dresser had been cleared, the bed spread was different and even the smell was different. She swallowed hard as the tears filled her eyes. This was definitely a big part of her anger toward her parents. She wasn't surprised they had reacted the way they did with the news. Brenda knew they would…with everything they had gone through recently with Dylan, she knew he would have to earn their trust. It was the replacement, it was Valerie, it was the fact that her parents almost were more relieved she would be living in London. She didn't understand it and it hurt her. Brenda shook her head, wiping her eyes, all she wanted to do was go back to Dylan's, take a hot bath and get the hell out of that house. She opened her closet and looked around. Nothing was familiar in it. She looked up and saw a couple boxes sitting on the top shelf. She reached up and lowered the box seeing that it was her stuff. She gently set it on the bed and looked inside. This was the box she wanted; it had pictures, letters, and Mr. Pony. She had gotten rid of most of the "Dylan" stuff after they had broken up but she kept a small box of things that no matter how mad or hurt she was at him, she would cherish forever. Including her St. Genesius metal, the half heart Dylan had gotten her for Christmas, a couple pictures from her Baja trip, some pictures of the gang, some letters that Dylan had written her after they had broken up in college and some other random keepsakes. It also had Mr. Pony, which she had not taken with her over the summer expecting to come home and was actually surprised her mother didn't ship it with the other stuff she had shipped making room for Valerie. Brenda stared down at the pictures, she needed Dylan and he wasn't accessible. Brenda's head turned suddenly hearing a knock on the frame of the door. Brenda took a deep breath and stared at her. Her facial expression still, her eyes bitter.

It was Valerie.

_Sorry to leave it there but it was getting way long and the Brenda/ Valerie could take a little while lol I am sure you are all thinking how torn you are. I got mixed and very confused reviews and that's good because that was my point. I am sure some of you are thinking you agree with Jim, Brandon and well Cindy has just been quiet and then the B/D lover in you wants everything to be good and for Brenda to tell her father where to go once and for all. I know, I feel the same way. I guess you are going to have to stick with me and continue reading. In the next chapter you will read about the Brenda and Valerie confrontation and Dylan in rehab and some BD interaction. There may be more it just depends on how those subjects go. Okay I hope you enjoyed it and please __**REVIEW**__! Tell me what you are thinking. _


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 A Red Red Rose**

"Bren…hey." Valerie looked down as she gently bit her lips. "It's been a long time."

Brenda kept her stare, "Not long enough apparently."

"Look Brenda…I am sorry about Dylan…I didn't know he was _the_ Dylan."

Brenda shook her head and looked down into the box continuing to grab the stuff she wanted out of it, "Val…I don't want to do this now."

Valerie walked into the bedroom, "You're one of my oldest friends…I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Val." Brenda repeated not looking up from the box. "You don't want to go there."

"Brenda…we have to do this now." Valerie touched her shoulder.

Brenda pushed her hand off her shoulder rudely, she had tried to not get into things but Valerie would not drop it. "You want to know what I think, I think you had no interest in Dylan what so ever, you did what you did just to for the sake of doing it.. I know you knew who Dylan was and I know you purposely went after him. You also knew exactly who Dylan was because in our letters, I told you about him; you knew how I felt about him." Brenda felt her adrenaline boost, "You're a liar and I don't want to hear anything from you...it's too soon Val, way too soon." Brenda forcibly shoved her belonging in an overnight type bag and started for the door.

"Brenda, I thought we were friends. You weren't even together with him. It wasn't just me. He was into it too...believe me." Val turned as she watched Brenda stop in the door frame.

Brenda turned around slowly and glared at her, there she was asking for forgiveness yet pushing the knife farther into her back, she slowly walked toward her.

"Bren? Come on." Valerie said sadly.

Brenda brought her hand up and slapped Valerie across the face. She was so angry at her, she was hurt. Valerie went after Dylan on purpose and that hurt her the most. It wasn't the fact that they had been together it was the fact that deep inside Valerie only cared about herself and deliberately wanted to hurt her. After all these years Brenda felt like she didn't know her at all. She hadn't been sorry. It was all an act.

Valerie brought her hand to her face and looked down. After a few seconds she looked up at her, glaring back at her. Tears rushed Brenda's eyes, she didn't like confrontation and she wasn't sure what to do next. Instead of getting into a major yelling match or a full blown cat fight she turned and left. Taking her stuff with her she walked herself back to Dylan's house.

**

Dylan stared at the ceiling as he lay in bed. Checking in was easy and the first day or so of rehab is for detoxing. Dylan had a head start considering he hadn't drunk anything in over twenty four hours. He was exhausted, shaky and could not get what Brandon said out of his mind. Was it wrong for Dylan to want Brenda home…with him? Dylan tried to justify it by saying Brenda loved him deeply, but she was a strong women. If she really wanted it she would go, right? Brenda would do anything and everything for him but she was self-seeking too. Dylan closed his eyes, he was going to try and get some sleep at least.

"_Brenda…I have always been there for you, I watched and heard you cry your eyes out the entire end of senior year and college because of him, I saw you go from happy and social to quiet and reserved."_

Brandon's voice echoed in Dylan's head. Dylan's eyes opened.

"_I also have known you my whole life, and you have always had the same dream…to study acting and hopefully do it for a living. I just would hate to see you throw away the opportunity at RADA, I think you will regret it."_

"Damn it." Dylan whispered and squeezed his eyes shut.

Sleeping was out of the question. Dylan slowly dragged himself to a sitting position and leaned his back against the wall. He brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and took a deep breath exhaling loudly. He sat there quietly for a while but his attention was brought to his roommate he had yet to meet yet. It was an younger man, definitely older than Dylan though. He plopped down on the the bed and looked at Dylan and gave him a small smile.

"Hey…Keith." He held out his hand.

"Dylan." He mumbled and just looked at him not meeting his hand in a friendly shake.

Keith slowly pulled back his hand and smirked, "Let me guess…booze."

"Amongst other things." Dylan said coldly looking away from him.

"Well…the first day is always the hardest. Well the first few days actually."

Dylan sat quiet and looked down.

"They are serving food soon in the dining hall."

"I am not hungry." Dylan kept his tone. He wasn't in the mood to make friends.

"Well you learn to make do with what they give you. In a place where there isn't any booze or drugs, you learn to look forward to the food, even though it sucks." Keith tried to keep upbeat even though he knew Dylan wasn't in the mood for him. "Give it a couple days, whatever is on your mind will get better. It does get a little easier." Keith said sincerely.

"Look Keith…I appreciate the welcoming committee routine, but I don't need it. I have done things like AA before. Also…don't pretend you know me, because you know nothing about me." Dylan made eye contact with him before looking back down. Dylan didn't mean to be a jerk to the poor guy he just wasn't in the mood for him. He missed Brenda, he was suffering some withdrawals and he just wasn't in a good mood period.

Keith nodded his head understanding, "I get it, I'll leave you alone." Keith got up and walked to the door, he turned around looking at Dylan, "I know a lot more about you than you think I do, at least what you're going through. The dining hall is downstairs to the left if you change your mind." Keith said sincerely.

Dylan watched him leave and took a deep breath. He shook his head contemplating if he even wanted dinner or not. He decided to go; it was going to be a long night of the shakes without anything in his stomach. Also he wanted to see if he was allowed to use the phone. Hearing Brenda's voice right now might make all the difference in the world.

**

Brenda soaked in Dylan's tub. She sat with her head back with her eyes closed trying to relax. She felt bad for slapping Valerie, Brenda wasn't violent and she didn't know what came over her. It did feel good though and part of her kind of laughed at herself thinking how good that would have felt to do to Kelly after finding out her and Dylan had gone behind her back that summer. Brenda smiled and shook her head as she lifted her hand noticing her hands were resembling more and more like an 80 year old women as she decided to get out. She carefully dried herself off, wrapping a towel around her wet hair and a robe around her body. Hearing the phone ring, Brenda hurried into the living room, drying her hair a little as she took the towel off answering the phone.

"Hello." After answering she hoped it was not her parents.

"Bren?" Dylan said softly.

"Dylan?" Brenda tone changed. Hearing his voice brought a smile to her face. "How are you?"

"Lonely, how bout you?" Dylan looked around, he wasn't supposed to be on the phone, but everyone was in the dining hall so he took the chance.

"Same here. I have to admit I don't like being here all by myself without you."

"I wish I was there…I miss you, what are you doing there all alone?" Dylan made small talk.

"I miss you too." Brenda smiled, "Actually nothing much, I just got out of the bath."

Dylan sighed into the phone and groaned, "Oh man…don't tell me that." He shook his head trying to get the visuals out of his head.

Brenda laughed, "And…I am only in my robe." Brenda joked.

"Oh really?" Dylan's voice got lower and more seductive. "Naked and in my living room?"

"Yep." Brenda said playfully.

"Oh God." Dylan took a deep breath, "That sounds so hot right now." Dylan said dead serious.

Brenda giggled softly as she changed the subject, "I didn't know you were allowed to use the phone, I had asked Ellen and she said after the first three days there were phone privileges."

"They don't exactly know I am on the phone. I just wanted to hear your voice. It definitely cheered me up…thanks." Dylan voice became low.

"Anytime but don't get into trouble, I want you getting out of there in a couple weeks, we need a fresh start."

Dylan sat silent on the other end.

"Dylan…you still there?" Brenda asked not hearing him.

"Yeah Bren…I am still here…I can't get what Brandon said out of my head. I just don't want you to resent me about London."

Brenda interrupted him, "Dylan…I won't. I want to stay here with you."

"What did your parents say?"

Brenda looked down sadly and didn't say anything.

"That well huh?" Dylan sighed into the phone. "What were they more mad at, being with me or not going back to school?" Dylan asked sadly.

"Honestly? Not going back to school."

"Did you tell them about the school in town?"

"Yeah…my dad said he won't pay for it. I am not worried about it, I will try student loans, grants…if I have to put it off then I will." Brenda seemed to have it all thought out even though she was secretly saddened by her parents reaction and the fact they would not support her, emotionally or monetarily.

"Bren..."

"Dylan…its fine, we will worry about it later."

Dylan heard Brenda's tone and knew she wanted to drop it. The silence was thick until Dylan spoke up, "Alright I better get off before someone catches me, I'll talk to you soon."

"Ok." Brenda said quietly. "I love you." Brenda added.

"I love you too…goodnight." Dylan said softly as well.

"Bye."

"Bye Bren."

Brenda clicked Dylan's cordless to the off position and took a deep breath. Just as Brenda was about to put the phone back on the charger it rang again. Brenda picked it up with a smirk, "Dylan…you are going to get in trouble."

"Uh not Dylan…What the fuck Bren?" Olivia said angrily.

"Oh hey…how did you get this number?" she said awkwardly.

"I called your house and talked to Brandon…which by the way sounds delicious…not the point, what is this that you aren't coming back here…to us…to me?" Olivia said hurt.

Brenda took a deep breath, "I will have to thank my brother for opening his big mouth."

"Don't not answer Brenda…what are you doing? I thought you had planned to go to Dylan's intervention and then be back on Monday. Honestly, I am regretting giving you those miles."

"Olivia, I don't need this, Dylan and I saw each other and we talked…"

"Talked? You can not tell me he is happy with this decision, if he really loved you he would want what's best for you."

"Olivia." Brenda sighed out.

"Bren…just promise me you will consider it. You are so fucking talented, you are too young to get married, I mean, you are going to regret it, I know it. I am sure Dylan is great but so are you, promise me."

"We are not getting married; we just never had a chance to work things out. We need this chance together."

"Just promise you will enlighten me."

"I promise you. Now go to sleep you party animal, its like 2:30 in the morning there."

"Ok." Olivia said quietly, "You are one of my best friends, I want you back." Olivia said only half joking.

"We aren't breaking up…goodnight sweetie; I will call you in a couple of days."

"You better." Smiled Olivia. "Oh and I want to meet your brother." Olivia laughed.

"He has a girlfriend." Brenda smiled and shook her head, "Bye."

"So do I…ok bye." Olivia hung up and set down the phone. She had to find a way to get Brenda back there. If only Dylan could come to London. She soon had an idea.

**

After eating the worlds worst turkey dinner, Dylan made his way back up to his room. He sat on his bed and reached into his bag taking out a few things. Brenda had gotten him necessities for the two weeks without each other. Her "Brenda" survival kit included, pen and paper for correspondence, a picture of the two of them together, a prepaid calling card for phone calls and his poetry book she had given him for his birthday. Dylan opened up the poetry book and began skimming around it, stopping suddenly as he recognized a poem. Dylan read over the Robert Burns poem several times. Dylan couldn't take this rehab lightly, if he had any chance of making it in this life of ups and downs he had to concentrate on his sobriety. He had to do it for himself not just for Brenda even though she had every reason to do with it. Dylan's thoughts moved to her, he loved her so much, more than before. He was extremely attached and he did want what was best for her. Dylan knew he and Brenda belonged together, there wasn't a question in his mind. There was a time when he wasn't sure but he knew now. What if it wasn't the right time for them? Here Brenda was giving up her dreams for him and Dylan felt neither relieved nor happy about it. Dylan was broke, the Walsh's and his friends, with help from his mother he was told, had sent him to this rehab. He couldn't afford to pay for her schooling. Dylan tooka deep breath and rested the poetry book onto the bed; he pulled out a pen and paper and began to write her. He had to do it, even though it killed him too. It wasn't the right time. Dylan felt his stomach turn even thinking about it.

_My Bren,_

_This may be the hardest letter I have ever had to write anyone. I am not sure even how to start. You have been my saving grace, my angel, my lover and friend. You have saved me and helped me through some of the worst things in my life. I am not sure I could ever repay you. Being here has made me think a lot, about me, about you…about us. You can't give up on London for me and I need to concentrate on myself. I need to be able to get well and work out some of the things I have held onto my whole life. There isn't a doubt in my mind that we don't belong together; I just think that with us it needs to be the right time because when you and I become us again, it will be forever. I think the timing is bad and I think seeing each other just made it worse. Because there is so much love between us, it's hard to ignore it._

_I will wait for you Bren and I hope at least your heart waits for me because I will never love another like I love you. We have to trust that we will find our way back to each other but giving up dreams and ourselves isn't the way. _

_A Red, Red Rose _

_O my luve's like a red, red rose._

_That's newly sprung in June;_

_O my luve's like a melodie_

_That's sweetly play'd in tune._

_As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,_

_So deep in luve am I;_

_And I will love thee still, my Dear,_

_Till a'the seas gang dry._

_Till a' the seas gang dry, my Dear,_

_And the rocks melt wi' the sun:_

_I will luve thee still, my Dear,_

_While the sands o'life shall run._

_And fare thee weel my only Luve!_

_And fare thee weel a while!_

_And I will come again, my Luve,_

_Tho' it were ten thousand mile!_

_-Robert Burns_

_I love you Bren_

_Dylan_

_**Surprised? Let me know what you're thinking. REVIEW! How do you think Brenda is going to take this?**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 Just Walk Away**

Brenda, Kelly and Donna laughed as they came through the front door of Dylan's house. They had been shopping and Brenda had welcomed the much needed girls day out. For the last 3 days, Brenda had been working at the Peach Pit as Laverne, keeping Dylan's house together and trying to get Dylan some help with finding Suzanne and Erica. She had a small lead from the private investigator and she had also spoken with Olivia. In between yelling at Brenda and telling her what a dumb mistake it was she was not coming back to school she did give Brenda the most amazing contact for Dylan. His name was J. Jay "Jonesy" Jones. Brenda had called him, left a message but had yet to hear back from him. Olivia's father who is a producer in music industry, a few years back he had a trusted assistant that had turned out to be anything but trusting. Olivia's father's assistant had taken over 5 million dollars from him and disappeared. Jonesy was able to find the assistant and get Olivia's father back almost all of the money taken from him, for a fee of course. Olivia had been honest with Brenda, Jonesy wasn't cheap but Brenda also knew Dylan had close to 10 million dollars coming back to him. With interest and the few investments Jim Walsh had done for him, it may have been more and she thought she knew Dylan well enough to know finding Erica, getting his money back and catching Suzanne would be worth it.

Brenda groaned as she plopped down on the couch. "Uh…I am so not the waitress type. My feet are killing me…working a double and then shopping, what I would give to have Dylan here to massage my feet." Brenda rubbed down the ball of her foot.

Kelly and Donna laughed, "I can't believe you brought Laverne out of retirement and is it my imagination or is she more…" Donna stopped for lack of a better word than what she was thinking.

"Raunchy?" Kelly said with a smile.

Brenda laughed out loud and shrugged, "Well hell…she is a lot more experienced…older…flirtier. And besides, we need money, this Laverne brings almost triple what she used to."

The girls laughed, Brenda scrapped herself from the couch and walked over to the mail table and started flipping through. She took a deep breath seeing her playful mood quickly disappear, "Bills suck." She mumbled as she looked through Dylan's mail.

"Tell me about it. We had no idea what it was like or how much it cost to actually live in L.A." Kelly said leaning her back against the couch. "The beach apartment is ridiculous."

"Tell me about it, my brother…your man, is actually a smart guy living at home. He has got it made…Hey I am hungry you guys want pizza?" Brenda said not looking up.

"Oh yeah…that sounds good." Donna pushed herself to her feet and walked over to the phone, "Pepperoni ok?"

"Veggie please." Kelly said with a smile.

Brenda looked at Donna quickly, "half and half?" Brenda said with a shrug.

"You got it, my treat." Donna began to dial as Brenda noticed a letter from the Malibu Treatment center.

She stared down at the letter and smiled. "Let me guess, a letter from a certain Mr. McKay?" Kelly joked noticing the smile right away.

Brenda blushed a little and nodded, "Finally." she said sighing.

"Well read it." Kelly said being nosey.

"Nah…I will wait…sometimes Dylan's letters are…better if I read them alone." _in bed _she thought.

Kelly smiled as her mouth dropped, "Ewww you're bad."

Brenda shrugged, "Yep…sad but true." As Kelly laughed, Brenda set down the mail and went and joined Kelly on the couch. This had really been the best day. She made over three hundred dollars in tips, Nat had been elated, considering his silent partner had been MIA for months and business had been bad. Brenda needed the money to pay for utilities and food, anything to help Dylan out plus Laverne was fun and she always felt like she was performing. It made the job easier and wasn't a constant reminder of possibly doing it for what seemed like forever. She had gone shopping, bought a couple new outfits she knew Dylan would love and they were on sale and just being with her old friends was enough. Being out of it the year before and not feeling completely in the loop with her friends was apparent and now it was like she had never left. Brenda knew the change was due to the fact, Kelly was content and happy with Brandon and Brenda had Dylan again. Even though Brenda never tried purposely to come between Dylan and Kelly, they all knew she did. Brenda pretended to forgive Kelly for betraying her but deep inside Brenda would never forget. The pressure was off, there was no hard feelings, no awkwardness, it was like old times and Brenda could not have been any happier.

"So Don…fill me in about David?" Brenda brought both legs under her and listened intently.

Donna sighed, "Well things are a little better. He recently started dating my roommate." Donna eyebrows lifted as she smirked and looked at Kelly who in return shook her head with a smile and looked down.

"WHAT?" Brenda said shocked.

"Yep…David and Claire are an item…it was weird at first but yeah I don't really care." Donna shrugged, "Let her deal with him. I mean obviously I couldn't give David what he wanted. I am not going to change who I am for him. If he doesn't respect my decision then he doesn't deserve me." Donna said securely.

"Good for you Don, I am glad things have changed since the last time we had discussed this before I left for the summer. I am proud of you." Brenda said with a smile.

"Well thank you. So Bren…tell me how you and Dylan became you and Dylan again." Donna smirked.

Brenda looked down shyly with a smile and then made eye contact with Donna again, "What do you mean? We talked and want to give us another chance."

"No…no, I mean before that, I mean last year. You have been totally keeping us in the dark about the two of you and obviously something happened before you went off to London."

Brenda looked back and forth between the girls who were clearly leaning in to get the dirt, "I don't know Don." Brenda tried to brush it off with the fact she didn't feel all that comfortable telling Kelly she had jumped into bed with Dylan a couple days after they had broken up.

"Oh come on. Why? You used to tell us everything about you and Dylan, well at least the good girly stuff." Donna pleaded.

Brenda looked at Donna and sighed, "I don't know, its different now."

Donna's eyes shifted to Kelly along with Brenda's and Kelly noticed, "Whoa wait, because of me? Oh Brenda come on, the day after Dylan and I broke up, I was on a plane to see Brandon. Hello."

Brenda took a deep breath, "Alright…alright." Brenda shrugged, "The day before the dreadful Ariel and David escapade." Donna rolled her eyes, "Dylan and I had spent a really cool day together at the CU carnival. We hung out, we laughed, we talked about London and overall just had a good time. I can't even remember the last time I had laughed that hard. We danced, we held hands, we shared a couple glances and…well eye sex." Donna and Kelly laughed. "It was like old times, after you spent the night and we talked about me leaving and you and David, I remember seeing Brandon on TV meeting the president and just for a second I realized how proud my parents have always been of him and how much I had driven them crazy the last couple years, the saga with Dylan and Mexico, going to the University of Minnesota and then dropping out, the whole jail thing and almost marrying Stuart. I felt like a failure and even after I had spent that time with Dylan I realized I had to go, that was why, I had to prove myself and make them see I wasn't a failure at all." Brenda looked down realizing what she was saying.

Donna and Kelly swallowed hard and looked at each other, then looked back at her, "Then why aren't you going back?" Kelly said honestly. "I mean Bren, I love having you here of course but isn't it the same thing?"

"No…because at that time flirting and eye sex wasn't a relationship, I went to Dylan's that night and told him what I was feeling about my parents and Brandon. I told him I was still in love with him and he felt the same. So the week before I left we were back together, we took off exactly where we left off except this time we were closer, we were older, we were more connected. Leaving him now is different." Brenda held in her tears but both girls saw them water up.

Brenda looked down and silence fell around the room. The doorbell sounded and all three girls slowly looked toward it. "Pizza." Donna said breaking the ice.

The girls gave out a tired laugh that sounded more like a sigh and welcomed the interruption. After having some dinner, watching a movie and gossiping the girls said their goodbyes agreeing to meet up the next day for some more bonding. Kelly and Donna had a sorority fund raiser and Brenda had agreed to help out. After saying goodbye to the girls and cleaning up the mess they had made, Brenda changed into her pajamas and finally was able to curl up and read Dylan's letter.

Brenda began to read and from the start of it she knew. As she read through she got a sudden familiar feeling. Her stomach felt like it was in knots and she felt sick. Not only did Dylan dump her again, in a letter, she had just spent the majority of the last few days, justifying her reasoning's for staying. Justifying her love for him and explaining how different it was. It wasn't different, he checked out on her...again. Brenda shook her head and to her surprise she didn't cry. Maybe there was only a certain amount of tears you can give to one person and Dylan exceeded his limit. Maybe Brenda was too hurt and over it to cry. Brenda wasn't feeling anything; the only thing Brenda knew was that she had a flight to catch tomorrow. There was one thing for sure, if Dylan didn't think it was the right time then she wasn't going to stick around to have him remind her. The thing that was pissing Brenda off was that she understood to a point why Dylan was doing it and saying what he was saying, but why everything else then. Why beg her to stay? Why put her in a position to get hurt all over again, for rejection from him again.

"I will wait for you Bren…yeah right." Brenda said to herself. Brenda crumbled the letter and tossed it on the table. She got up and began packing up her stuff. He did her a favor, she thought, it wasn't meant to be, there is always something with us, the bottom always falls out from under us. Brenda's head turned as the phone began to ring. She had a weird feeling and she began to walk toward it, gripping her shirt she was about to pack against her chest. The answering machine kicked on and after the beep her feeling was right.

"Bren? Brenda…are you there?" Dylan said desperate.

He sighed loudly, "You must be out and about. I am sure you have received my letter by now. I know your plane leaves tomorrow but I wasn't sure what time. If you have time come say good bye to me. Usually there are no visitors allowed besides the occasional family days but I had Ellen clear you. Please come Bren…it would mean a lot if I got to actually say good bye to you this time. I thought originally your plane left at noon. Hopefully that is right. Alright well, hopefully I will see you tomorrow." Silence filled the room as Brenda's eyes teared up, guess her theory was wrong. "Love you Bren…bye." He whispered as the phone clicked.

Brenda stood there staring at the machine as tears streamed her face. She took a deep breath and walked back into Dylan's bedroom and continued to pack her belongings. She got more and more angry, she started folding things and then she found herself throwing them in her suitcase. His message was so nonchalant, no big deal. Come to say goodbye, she thought. Brenda threw a pair of jeans into her suitcase and exhaled. She shook her head and ran both hands through her hair in frustration.

**

Brenda sat on the couch; her family would be there in about twenty minutes to bring her to the airport. It wasn't hard to tell them she had decided to go back. They didn't ask questions and Brenda didn't give any answers. Brenda did tell Brandon though, because he asked. He knew there was a reason for the change and Brandon acted like a good brother and felt bad for her even though he was glad she decided to go back. Dylan by now she assumed knew she wasn't coming. She couldn't, she was angry and hurt and Brenda thought of herself for once and took the selfish road. She wasn't going to get sucked back in. The truth was if she looked into his eyes, she wouldn't be able to leave. She could fall in love with him over and over just by looking into them. She refused and wouldn't be a sobbing idiot, she wouldn't show him exactly what he did to her. Brenda knew Dylan was right, she knew he needed to concentrate on himself but she would have helped him. She wanted to help him. She wanted to help him and be involved in finding Erica. She wanted to take care of him, she always did. Brenda took a deep breath realizing that she was mad at him but she did have some things to tell him. She pouted all the way to where Dylan kept paper and a pen, pouting at herself for being to nice to him. She wrote him a note, told him about Jonesy, told him which bills she had paid and left a few other things as well. When Brenda finished laying things out for him her parents had finally arrived. As Brandon took her suitcase and bag to the car Brenda set Dylan's car keys on the table and took one more look around his house. Brenda took a deep breath and closed the door…on the past and on Dylan and just walked away.

**

Dylan swallowed hard looking at his watch. They had never came to get him. He let them know where he was going to be, which group sessions he had going on and nothing. Dylan walked past the front desk.

"Hey…no visitors?" he asked quietly.

The woman smiled knowing what was going on. Ellen had to clear Brenda and she had told the receptionist why they were making an exception this time. "No…I am sorry, what time was she leaving?"

"Twelve."

The woman looked at the clock seeing it was almost noon. She nodded and watched Dylan sadly walk away. Dylan was miserable and even though he wasn't positive if she had gone back, he knew she did and knew she probably wasn't that happy about it or him more so. Dylan knew Brenda well enough to know how she would react to things, he just had hoped she didn't. Dylan decided to write her another letter, by the time she got it, she would be back, settled and maybe she would have cooled off if she was sincerely angry at him. He was going to have to explain to her, it wasn't because he didn't love her, it was because he did. How do you make someone believe it though being so far away?

_*sigh* I love them, its hard to break them up. Just to warn you, I know most of you are Brenda fans, which I am as well of course, the coming chapters will show Brenda how she truly was a times, stubborn as a mule. So please don't get mad at her or me : ) she will come around…eventually. What's a story without a little angst or maybe a lot. Please review, you guys are slacking lol lol and thanks to the regulars, you know who you are and I love ya for it. _


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 She's Already Gone**

Brenda smiled at Mike as she passed the front desk. He waved her over from afar. She had been back in London for almost a week and half and she had only seen him twice. Brenda didn't want it to be awkward with the kiss they had shared before she went back to L.A. but she hadn't had a chance to really talk to him about anything either. She had barely had time to catch up with Olivia. Brenda had pushed herself back into school and she had to catch up on lines and lectures. It was a relief to be back. She was happy she was back. One thing was for sure getting over Dylan was a hell of a lot easier being on the other side of the world. She tried to keep busy; she hadn't heard from him, she was almost relieved he had made a clean break and so had she because it was time. It was time to move on from the past and from Dylan. Brenda was tired of getting pulled down with him, she loved him but she needed to be herself. Find herself as a person, grow and mature. Brenda swallowed hard and walked toward Mike. She had told herself those things over and over and still she didn't believe them. Getting over Dylan was never easy and she still was as confused as to how she was always so easy to throw away. He acted one way with her and then he would change.

Brenda smiled clutching her notebook, "Hey Mike…how are you?" she said nicely waiting to see if it was awkward after all.

"Hey beautiful…how was L.A.?" Mike leaned his elbows on the table getting closer to her. Obviously it was not.

"Eye opening." Brenda nodded not getting into it but keeping it a smirk.

"That good huh?" Mike joked, "Here you have some mail…and I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow night?" Mike held the mail back as Brenda tried to reach for it.

Brenda cleared her throat subtly and placed her hand on the desk. "I don't know…why?"

"I have tickets." He smiled; he placed the mail on the desk close to her hand keeping it covered with his. He was most definitely flirting with her.

Brenda smiled back, "Tickets? Well what…kind of tickets?" Brenda tried to not be obvious with her flirting back. He was very cute and in the time she hadn't seen him, he had shaved his head and he looked totally different. His eyes popped more and he had some scruff on his face now. Brenda wasn't going to lie, he was hot.

"Theatre tickets, you interested?"

Brenda stared at him as he stared back at her. She slowly smiled at him and playfully rolled her eyes, "Maybe." She leaned in a little placing her hand over her mail and slid it toward her out from under his. She turned and started back to her room.

"Brenda?" Mike called out causing Brenda to turn around, "I'll pick you up at 7." He said totally ignoring the person in front of him waiting to retrieve their mail.

Brenda smiled, "Sounds good." She said as shook her head as she climbed the stairs feeling his eyes on her until she turned the corner. Brenda kept her smile as she unlocked her door and made her way in throwing her belongings on the bed. She had to admit she was smitten, more so than when she had left for home. She sat on the edge of her bed, picking up her mail and flipping through it. She looked closely at the envelope as the others dropped to the floor. It was from Dylan, from the Malibu treatment center. Her first instinct was to toss it, rip it up and not even look at it. The second thought was as curious as to what he could possibly have to say that it was keeping her from tossing it. She grumbled at her weakness and slid her finger under the flap tearing across it. She slowly opened up the letter, unfolding it and taking a big breath getting herself emotionally ready for it.

_My Bren,_

_I think I understand why you didn't come say goodbye to me. I don't like it but I understand. Please don't be angry at me, I didn't do this because I don't want to be with you or because I don't love you. I did it because I do. Spending the time I spent with you was incredible and…_

Brenda crumbled the letter in to ball and shook her head. She tossed it angrily at the door as Olivia opened it, hitting her right in the breast. "Owe." Olivia laughed holding on to her breast, "Settle down Whitey Ford." Olivia said picking up the letter.

"Who?" Brenda furrowed her brow.

"Whitey Ford…one of the three best World Series pitchers in history, played for the Yankees 1950 to 1967?" Brenda shrugged not having a clue. Olivia shook her head throwing her bag on her bed. "Whatever… I am from New York. What the hell are you throwing at my tit?" she held up the letter.

Brenda rolled her eyes, "He just makes me uh…like want to smack someone." Brenda clinched her fists.

"Damn, what does it say?" Olivia looked at it, wanting to open it but would never unless Brenda said it was ok.

"Go ahead." Brenda shrugged going over to her closet and rummaging through her clothes.

Olivia un-crumbled the letter and tried to straighten it out by rubbing it across her leg. "Did you read the whole thing?"

"Nope…stopped after incredible." Brenda said still with her back turned, fumbling angrily through her closet.

Olivia began to read out loud, "Spending the time I spent with you was incredible and I am not sure how I am supposed to let you go." Olivia looked up at Brenda who had slowly turned around. She kept reading out loud, "You have done so much for me and it was time I did something for you. Something that even though it drove me crazy even thinking about, it would only benefit you. You love acting Bren and you're good at it. You need to do this for you. I need to work on me…"

"Stop…I don't want to hear anymore." Brenda said putting up her hands as she closed her eyes.

Olivia glanced down and read the rest. "Brenda…let me at least finish it, its almost done."

"Why? It doesn't matter…I am here, he is there." Brenda shrugged sadly, "It didn't work out...it never works out."

Olivia not caring began reading again, "The clock will tick away the hours, one day the time will come when all the waiting's done. The time when you return and find me here and run straight to my waiting arms. I'll wait for you." Olivia looked sadly at her, "That is so sweet." Olivia was touched, "Very poetic."

"Yeah." Brenda exhaled, "That's Dylan for you." She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"What happened Bren? You never said why you came back or what really happened between the two of you."

"Nothing happened, we saw each other, we slept together, we wanted to be together again, he went to rehab and I came back to school."

"That's all? You went from moping around writing love letters back and forth to throwing those letters across the room and that's it, something else happened." Olivia crossed her legs and continued to look at her.

"Yeah…something else did happen, I decided I wasn't going to put up with his shit anymore, that's what happened. It's done…we're done." Brenda pulled out a short black dress from the closet, "Is this a good date dress?"

Olivia looked at her friend sadly, "You arent even going to write him back? Are you mad at him just because he told you to come back to school, I mean Bren, I don't get it?"

"Olivia…honestly why do you care and I just asked you if this dress was a good date dress and you didn't even ask me who I had a date with?" Brenda looked at her confused.

Olivia looked at Brenda and swallowed hard, it wasn't the time to tell her what she had done before knowing Brenda was returning to school. It was still too fresh and obviously Brenda was really hurt. Olivia decided she would wait and tell her, it would be best that way. She gave her a small smile, "Sorry…who is your date with? And yes that is an amazing date dress, you'll freeze your ass off…this isn't Beverly Hills girl." Olivia smiled more genuinely.

"What we do to look good." Brenda joked, "I have a date with Mike tomorrow night, he is taking me to the theatre." Brenda said in a British accent.

Oliva smiled and her eyes widened. She gave her a nod and bit the inside of her cheek, "So if Dylan were to show up here, you would tell him to get lost?" Olivia asked honestly.

Brenda smirked, "That's not going to happen and…" Brenda thought about it, "I would." She gave Olivia a nod back and turned toward her closet hanging her dress back up.

**

Dylan paid the taxi and slowly got out of the car. Two weeks in rehab and he was home, now the real struggles were about to start. No drugs…no booze…no Brenda. He had done well in rehab; he used them to the fullest. He discussed his mistakes and relationships, his sister and past evils. It felt good to talk to someone about it, someone he didn't know, someone who was educated with the kind of demons Dylan had. He looked at his house as the cab drove away and took a deep breath. He walked up to his front door unlocking it and swinging open the door. He knew Brandon had taken in his mail while Brenda was gone and it looked like he did so, considering it was neatly stacked on the mail table next to the phone. His house was spotless and neat, it was Brenda's doing, he would recognize it anywhere. Brandon and Kelly had come to visit him while he was in rehab, it was nice talking to them in a normal state and it gave Dylan a chance to apologize to them both for his behavior. He had talked to Kelly for a while about how sorry he was for the way he had treated her. That even though they weren't meant to be, he did have fun with her and he learned more about himself having gone out with her. He didn't include that he had learned what he didn't want or what he didn't want to become but the sentiment was there and at the end Dylan had given Brandon and Kelly his blessing as far as their relationship went and not to feel guilty about how they started.

Dylan dropped his bag as the sadness set in. She was here, living here, cleaning his house and now she was gone…because of him. Dylan went over to his kitchen table right away, Brandon had told him, Brenda had indeed gone back to London and she did seem upset. Brandon had told him Brenda left what looked like a letter and some stuff about bills but that was all he knew and he had told Dylan he hadn't snooped to find out but he would find out when he got home. Dylan looked down and picked up a notebook that had Brenda's writing on it. She listed which bills she had paid for the month and what was still left. It had a short note regarding Jonsey and his information which touched Dylan more than anything. She also left him $1200 in cash and a paycheck from the peach pit, signed over to him. Whatever she had made in the short time she had worked at the peach pit and a bit of her savings, she had left for him to get back on his feet. He gently set it down as the sadness got worst. She had paid his bills and she had worked for him...for them. Dylan shook his head feeling like an ass. He swallowed hard picking up the sealed envelope in which had his name scribbled across the front of it. He gently opened it not sure if he wanted to read it. As he opened the letter something fell into his hand and he recognized it right away. As he kept it clinched in his hand he began to read.

_Dylan,_

_I wasn't going to write you, not because I am that much of a bitch but because I have no idea what to even say to you. I have to admit after reading that letter you wrote me I was mad…I was hurt…and honestly I still am. I understand your logic for dumping me, I understand the reason._

Dylan tilted his head and looked up from the letter, "I am not dumping you Bren." He whispered taking a deep breath. He continued to read.

_The thing I don't understand is why you claim to feel the way you feel about me and then I somehow always feel rejected. I came to help you and support you with the full intention of going back to school. After making love to you, as you held me in your arms, you told me how much you loved me and that you wanted me around all the time. You told me you wanted to wake up to me everyday and to be with me again, and then I get a letter claiming you need to take care of yourself and that I need to go back to school. That it wasn't the right time for us. It's never the right time for us, it never will be. You did have one thing right though, I would have given it up for you, I always would have. Maybe someday I will thank you for this but as of now, I can't. No matter the reason behind it, no matter what your intentions are, I still cant get the feeling of deceit, dishonesty and just the simple fact that I was rejected again…by you. I know it's far fetched and maybe a little overdramatic but its how I feel and I can't change that. I know this decision is all for me and what's best for me…but honestly I think I deserve more than a crummy letter. I think I was owed at least a phone call, an explanation in person. That's why I didn't go to say goodbye to you, well at least part of the reason. It was too late for the in person heart felt talk. And if I saw you…I wouldn't be able to go._

_I hope you succeed in rehab and everything you do. I will always remember you fondly as the guy who helped me fit in, showed me what love was and opened me up. You were my first love Dylan McKay and I will never forget what I felt for you. I think its best to go our separate ways, a clean break from each other. You can "concentrate on yourself" and I can follow my dreams…and finally move on. I have been in love with you for almost 5 years; I don't even know how to live life without loving you and I need to. Please don't call me, don't write me…just let me go. I enjoyed being your Bren, I enjoyed loving you and being with you, but I can't be your Bren anymore. Take care of yourself Dylan, be the guy I know you are. Do what you love and don't settle for anything in life._

_Sincerely,_

_Brenda_

Dylan felt his eyes well up and he looked up more shocked than anything. This is not what he wanted, this wasn't how he thought she would react. He slowly opened his hand and lying in the palm of it was her half heart he had given her for Christmas all those years ago. She had given it back to him which only meant she was letting go...she was already gone. Brenda had Dylan's heart and she returned it to him, she didn't want it. Dylan looked up overwhelmed with emotion clutching it tightly. He wasn't going to let her go, he wasn't going to stop writing her or loving her. He couldn't do that even if he tried and he was pretty sure she couldn't either. Dylan had never moved on from Brenda and now with how close they had become he didn't want to. He didn't care what her letter said, she would always be his Brenda.

_*Wahhhhh* Ok not sure if you guys know where I am going with this but I would love to hear your thoughts. Also are you guys wondering what Olivia did? You'll find out soon enough, maybe next chapter depending on how it flows. Also Jonsey is going to call and some of the real s5 will come out again. Stay with me peeps, hopefully you will. Please review, you keep me going. Also the pt 2 conclusion to Coming Home will be up soon. _


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 Taking It Slow?**

Brenda brushed down her dress as she looked at herself in her full length mirror. She was a little nervous and excited, she hadn't been on a date in God knows how long. Not a real date anyway since Stuart. Brenda cringed as she thought about that time in her life. It wasn't that long ago yet it seemed like ages ago. She also knew she loved the idea of falling in love and being with someone but she didn't want to make the same mistake with Mike that she had with Stuart. Just because someone comes in charming and handsome doesn't mean you have to jump into a relationship with them. Truthfully Brenda no matter how much she had been putting out about being over Dylan and ready to move on, she wasn't over him and she had actually came to the conclusion that she may never fully be. So taking that into account she didn't want to rush into anything with Mike. She looked at it as a nice time, out with an attractive guy and if it turned into

something more than it did. Brenda took a deep breath as Olivia made her way into their room.

Brenda turned around and smiled shifting her weight to one side and holding out her arms, "So…how do I look?"

"You look hot…totally amazing." Olivia smiled at her excitement and sat down on her bed. "Mike will most definitely get a hard on." Olivia nodded.

Brenda laughed as she felt her face blush, "Well…he can put the hard on away because we will not be needing it." Brenda reached down and grabbed her purse.

"What's the point then?" Olivia joked.

"I am just looking forward to going out with someone and having a good time, I don't need the emotional stuff sex brings, I had that enough with Dylan. Do you think the reason I fell for Dylan so hard was because he was the first guy I ever slept with?"

Olivia shrugged, "Probably…or maybe you fell so hard because …you're meant to be together."

Brenda gave her a look and took a deep breath, "Well it's hard to believe after everything we have been through, if two people are meant to be, you would think the bottom wouldn't drop out from under us so much." Brenda shook her head, "Sex complicates things, I am not in a rush to get back there." Brenda shrugged as she went over and took a seat next to Olivia. "Are you going out with Sean?"

"We might meet up later, he has some group study meeting tonight, studying lines and getting ready for next week." Olivia nodded her head. She felt like she should tell Brenda the truth but she was scared she would be angry with her and Olivia didn't want to ruin Brenda's chipper mood and her date. She hated keeping things from her, they had gotten close and they got along so well. Brenda kept Olivia in line and she hadn't had any real girlfriends in New York so she really liked the fact Brenda was real and nice. Sure she had friends, she was miss social butterfly but Olivia never knew if they hung out with her for who she was and who her father was or if they really liked her. For Olivia it was easy to get into any concert, any club just by seeing her last name. People flocked to her because of that and she secretly hated it. "So…what play are you guys seeing?"

Brenda smiled, "I don't know…he didn't say."

"Brenda…I have to talk to you" Olivia hesitated not being able to not tell her any longer.

"What…what's wrong?" Brenda said sweetly.

Both girls looked toward the door as they heard a gentle knock.

"Hang on." Brenda called out, "What is it?" Brenda looked at her sincerely.

"It's not a big deal…I'll talk to you later…have fun on your date."

"You sure?" Brenda said with a smile.

"Absolutely." Olivia smiled and gave her a nod.

Brenda placed her hand on her shoulder before getting up opening the door, "Hey." she said seeing Mike standing outside her door.

"Well hello." Mike's eyes looked down Brenda quickly, "You look incredible."

"Thanks." Brenda said with a smile. She looked at Olivia and held up her hand, "See you later, tell Sean hi."

"Will do…you two be good…don't do anything I would." Olivia smirked as the two smiled and walked out of the room. Olivia took a deep breath as she flopped back onto the bed.

Brenda and Mike got outside and started walking to the theater. Since the school was located in the theater district they didn't have to walk far. "So…what play are we seeing?" Brenda asked as she walked closely next to him.

"Love Letters, have you seen it?" Mike said with a sweet smile.

Brenda almost felt her heart stop, "Ah yeah, I saw it a few years back." Brenda took a deep breath and stared straight ahead.

"Did you not like it?" Mike said noticing Brenda's mood change quickly.

Brenda played it off and gave him a small smile, "No…I did, it's a very romantic story. It's crazy how the whole play takes place with just two characters and sitting the whole time. That would be an easy one huh?" Brenda made light of it even though she had instantly been brought down, Love Letters reminded her of Dylan, the good days and it would always be their play and now living far from each other just made the connection with it that much more real.

Mike laughed a little, "Yeah, I think they read the whole time too, you don't even have to memorize. Have you eaten yet?" Mike looked over at her, his eyes had a sparkle to them, he always made eye contact with her, he really was a sweet guy.

"Nope, I had rehearsal until 5, so really I only had time to come home shower and get ready." Brenda answered back keeping the stare. After a second she glanced down shyly.

"Well after the play I know a place that has great food." He looked away from her; he slowly moved his hand to hers. After grazing it, he clasped his hand around hers. He swallowed hard hoping she didn't think it was too forward. They walked hand and hand down toward the theater, neither of them spoke, both obviously nervous. Brenda wasn't sure but she took a deep breath and looked over at him as he met her stare. They softly smiled at each other and continued to the play.

**

Dylan stared down at the two sentences he had written. He read them over a few times and shook his head. He took a deep breath as there was a knock at the door. "Come in." he yelled out frustrated.

The door slowly opened as Valerie peaked her head in, "Hey." she said with a half smile until the crumbled up piece of paper flew to the ground.

He groaned, "What are you doing here?"

"Wow…nice to see you too…jerk" Valerie made a face as she came into the house and closed the front door. "I hadn't seen you in a while." Valerie crossed her arms.

"Yeah...sorry, been busy…in rehab." Dylan continued to be a smart ass as he stared down at the now empty fresh sheet of paper.

Valerie took a deep breath and walked closer to him bending over and picking a few crumbled up pieces of paper on her way, "What are you doing? Writing the next great American novel?" Valerie joked.

"I am trying to write Bren a letter." Dylan said sadly as he finally looked at Valerie as she sat next to him at the kitchen table.

"Not going so well I see." she looked around at the dozen more crumbled up wads thrown about. "Don't even try…you're wasting your time, she isn't the most forgiving person in the world." Valerie sighed.

Dylan looked at her creasing his brow, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh you mean Brenda didn't tell you that she slapped me? Yep, because of you." Valerie said with attitude.

Dylan stared at her, "Brenda…Walsh? Hit you?" Dylan tried to not break a smile.

"Yeah…what you didn't think little miss perfect had it in her?"

Dylan chuckled, "No…not at all." he shook his head trying not to laugh.

"Fine laugh…be an ass." Valerie leaned her hand on her face, leaning her elbow on the table.

Dylan laughed openly finally, "I am sorry." he held up his hand in defeat not being able to hold it in. "It's just hard to picture."

After a few moments of silence between the two of them Dylan took a deep breath looking down at the blank page again. "I miss her." he said softly.

Valerie swallowed hard looking at him, "Having trouble finding the right words?" she said trying to be nice.

"I guess so. She hates me."

"Oh come on, Brenda would never hate you, not even when you were a prick and cheated on her with her best friend did she hate you."

Dylan looked at her and shrugged, "She hated me a little."

"Maybe…but it didn't last long, she kept everything you had ever given her."

Dylan looked down biting the inside of his cheek gently.

"Just be honest, tell her everything, the heart doesn't lie no matter how much you want it to."

Dylan gave her a small smile, "thanks."

"Well…mind if I hang out for a little while, Jimbo is getting on my last nerve and Steve will not stop calling me." Valerie got up and walked toward the futon. She sat down and clicked on the TV and started channel surfing. "Just say whatever is in your heart."

Dylan nodded and took a deep breath, the TV was a huge detraction. He looked down at the paper again and began to write. It wasn't long, but from the heart. He finished, sealing it sticking it into the mail box. As he made his way inside he looked down at Valerie. She smiled at him and looked back at the television.

"What are you doing here Val? The real reason?"

"I cant be at that house for too long and not want to bang my head against the wall, its boring, I don't understand how you guys live here, nothing ever happens."

"Well…you get used to it, find a hobby or something." Dylan said as he moved and sat next to her on the couch.

Valerie moved her legs over his and got close to his face, "I know some things that are more our style and they are not boring." She moved in and tried to kiss him as Dylan turned his cheek.

"Val…come on, its different now, if I am going to get Brenda to talk to me again I cant fool around with you. And why would you want to? You know how pissed she was about it."

"Who cares…she wont know anyway. Plus its too late now to be a good friend."

"Yeah…but we will know." Dylan looked at her seriously. "And its not to late to be a good friend.

Valerie moved back and exhaled, "Fine. You were the only non boring person here and now you suck too."

Dylan laughed and set his hand on her leg, "Sorry." he smirked.

Valerie shrugged and looked over at the mail table, "Aren't you going to go through your mail? Maybe you got something from Bren."

Dylan moved Valerie's legs off him and walked over to the table. He picked up the pile and started flipping through it as he sat back down.

"Here." Valerie held out her hand, it was a big stack, "Give me half."

Dylan looked at her and shrugged handing her the bottom half of the pile. As the two flipped through, Valerie stopped and stared down at the envelope. She looked at Dylan who hadn't looked up from his pile, "It's from London." she said nicely as he turned to her surprised and shocked, he set his pile on the table and took it from her slowly. It was from London and had Brenda's return address on it as well. Dylan bit the inside of his lip as he looked at it.

"Aren't you going to open it?"

Dylan stared down at the envelope, it was a thicker envelope and he was kind of nervous and wasn't sure if he was ready to see what else Brenda had wanted to get off her chest. As the silence grew thick the door bell rang. Both Valerie and Dylan looked toward the door and then at each other. Dylan looked down at the envelope again.

"Want me to get it?" Valerie looked at him oddly.

"Whatever." he said softly not looking up.

Valerie sighed at how annoying he was being and got up walking to the door, she opened it and smiled at the man standing on the porch.

"Well…hello there gorgeous." the man said as he checked her out.

Valerie looked at the dirty older man and set her hand on her hip, "Can I help you?"

"Well that all depends doll…what you intend to do for me." he stared at her breasts when he talked to her.

Valerie shook her head in amazement at the perverted man, "Oh relax sugar, I am looking for Dylan McKay."

Dylan's head shot up as the man at the door and Valerie looked back at him, "Yeah…who's looking?"

Jonesy stepped into the house passing closely to Valerie getting close to her face as he passed her. Valerie rolled her eyes shutting the door once he was inside.

"My name is J. Jay Jones…but my friends call me Jonesy." Jonesy held out his hand as Dylan stood up. "Are you Brenda?" he said with a smile looking back at Valerie, as Dylan shook his hand.

Valerie crossed her arms, "Maybe…maybe not. Who do you want me to be?" she flirted interested in what exactly this guy wanted with Dylan and the fact he knew Brenda or at least of her.

Dylan rolled his eyes at Valerie, "What can I do for you Jonesy?"

Jonesy smiled at Valerie and stared at her for a few moments, "I got a call from a Brenda…and after leaving a message I decided to look you up. I heard you are in need of my services." he finally looked at Dylan and away from Valerie and her body.

**

The play was depressing for Brenda. It brought back too many memories of Dylan and she had tried not to think about him all day long. All these images of that past Valentines day flooded her brain and she was almost mad at herself. Brenda and Mike had a late dinner and some friendly conversation and it had taken her out of the Dylan mode and she was thankful for it but of course it didn't last long.

"Ready." Mike said as he finished paying for dinner. He got up and pulled out her chair for her.

Brenda nodded and took a deep breath. The walked hand and hand back to their dorms, making small talk and talking about school. They came across Brenda's room, she turned before opening the door, "I had a really nice time. Thanks for inviting me out." she smiled nicely.

"Thanks for accepting. I wasn't sure if I was going to see you again. Olivia had said something about you possibly staying home."

"yeah well…I changed my mind." Brenda said leaving it at that.

"I am glad." Mike got closer to her staring into her eyes.

Brenda swallowed nervously, "You want to come in, see if Sean and Olivia are here?" Brenda regretted asking thinking that maybe they wouldn't be.

"Sure." Mike said without hesitation as he watched Brenda unlock her door.

As Brenda pushed the door open she flipped the light switch to find an empty bedroom. She looked back smiling shyly at him as she moved into her bedroom, taking off her sweater and turning the radio on. The both sat on her bed and looked down.

"So…you going to audition for the holiday performance?" Mike asked trying to break the silence.

"I don't know…I was suppose to go home, and then they were coming here, I haven't figured out what my family is doing yet but I wanted to."

"You should, you would make a good Christine." Mike smiled as he looked into her eyes.

Brenda shyly smiled back, "Thanks…it's a pretty racy play, it may be fun." Brenda laughed, "Depending on who got cast as Albert of course."

They both smirked both knowing the play of Two Hearts was a racy play full of love, sex and angst.

Mike looked down and took a deep breath, "I had a really good time tonight, you know I have only had one serious girlfriend in my life. I just haven't met anyone worth getting to know, until you." his voice got softer.

Brenda swallowed hard as she looked over at him, "I am not looking for anything serious Mike, I had fun too but…with everything that happened at home and past relationships, I would rather just take it slow and see what happens." Brenda looked at him shyly. The moment of truth if Mike would wait around. Brenda was aware that they were older now, the same rules didn't apply so much with sex and relationships as you got older. Once you have done it, it wasn't _as_ big of a deal anymore but it was to her.

"That's ok." Mike tilted his head and ran his fingers through her hair. He stared at her longingly and it was Brenda who leaned in and kissed him gently. They started slowly, holding back but after a little while Brenda and Mike allowed themselves to get lost in the kiss. Letting it get harder and quicker pressing their lips so hard together it made it hard to breath. Brenda felt Mike wrap his arms tightly around her as he grabbed at her back and waist. She moaned softly leaning into him finding herself over him. As they made out heavily Brenda's mind flashed to Dylan. The way Mike grabbed her, touched her and kissed her was very Dylan and it was like she couldn't get him out of her head. The more she thought about Dylan the more angry and forceful she became, almost as a way to get back at him. She realized what was happening and backed away as she felt Mike beginning to feel her up and soon after reaching up her dress.

Brenda closed her eyes and sat beside him, "I am sorry." Brenda whispered realizing what she had started. Mike was a very respectful guy, he wouldn't have tried to get into her pants but since Brenda gave him the invite he gladly accepted.

Mike looked at her sweetly, "It's ok." he said quietly. "I understand."

Brenda shook her head and looked at him, "I don't mean to lead you on, it just felt good to be here with you but…I do think this is going to fast." she said noticing Mike smile shyly and look down.

He sat up and laced his hand with hers. "You're not leading me on, I am not in a hurry."

Brenda gave him a half smile, "Well…goodnight?"

Mike nodded and smiled back at her, "Goodnight. Can I ask you out again sometime?" The both got up holding on to each others hand.

"You better." Brenda said playfully stopping at her front door.

Mike leaned in and kissed her gently. "Night." he whispered looking at her deeply before turning and opening the front door.

Brenda watched him leave and closed the door behind him leaning against it. She took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling. She smirked and shook her head walking toward her bed and falling dramatically onto it. She rolled to her back staring at the ceiling as she let out a groan picking up her pillow and moving it across her face. No matter what Brenda wanted and her intentions to take it slow because of Dylan, she couldn't deny the fact that Mike was attractive, into her and incredibly sexual. She would have never known just by meeting him. He turned her on and maybe the challenge wasn't going to be getting over Dylan, maybe the challenge was going to be not rushing things with Mike. Or maybe she just missed Dylan so much she was looking for something, anything to take her mind off him.

_Ok so all BD fans don't get crazy, I do not intend to give too much detail into Mike and Brenda. And there are some surprises along the way, like what's in that envelope. Anyhow, let me know what you're thinking. I am sure I will get a lot of Mike hate and well coming from true BD fans I wouldn't expect less. Mike isn't a weird o or anything like that. He may actually become a threat. (hehe)_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 The Cavendish's and the Secret**

"It's too late…you had your chance, I am in love with someone else." She said full of sadness. She turned her back to him; she didn't want him to see her cry.

He swallowed hard, "I know you still love me…I know it's never too late with us…baby look at me." his voice full of emotion. "Please."

"No." she said sternly.

"Christine…look at me, look into my eyes and tell me you love him more than me, tell me to leave here and never look back. If you do, I will go." He said before looking toward the ground.

She stood silent as a few tears streamed down her cheeks, "I cant." She whispered turning around slowly and looking at him.

Albert rushed her taking her face in his hands as he kissed her deeply. They exhaled into each other mouths as they kissed passionately. "I miss you so much." He whispered as they closed their eyes resting their foreheads and noses together.

"I did too." She breathed out.

He lifted her slightly turning toward the bed as he lay her down gently. They began kissing again, this time more heated without holding back, they wanted each other, they needed each other.

Brenda broke free from the kiss and smiled, "And then they have wild passionate sex." She commented looking at Mike. "That was hot, I must say."

Mike still on top of her looked down her slowly, "Uh ha…I think we might have to rehearse the next part…you know…make sure we get right." his eyes found hers again.

Brenda kept her smile, "Yeah I am sure. I think we'll be fine, we aren't really going to be having sex on stage, but good try though." Brenda joked.

Mike exhaled, "Fine…Christine and Albert don't have to rehearse their sex scene but I am thinking maybe Brenda and Mike really need to."

"Oh is that so." Brenda shook her head still looking at him.

"Mmmm Hmmm." Mike groaned taking her lips to his again.

As the kiss heated up Brenda pulled away and looked at him, "Time out Romeo." Mike sighed playfully and moved off of her to his back still lying beside her. "Don't be mad." Brenda said softly as she moved to her side resting her head on her hand.

Mike shook his head, "I'm not mad, I just thought since it was late and since Olivia was staying the night in our room…" Mike looked over at Brenda, "Maybe I could stay here." Mike smiled.

"I don't think so." Brenda looked down and moved to a sitting position.

"Brenda…we have been dating exclusively for over 2 months. I have been a perfect gentlemen, I haven't pressured you have I?"

Brenda looked at him, "Counting now?" she smirked.

Mike smiled, "No…not counting now."

"Then no…you have been extremely nice and patient and no you have not pressured me."

"We spend everyday together, we get along great, we have a lot of fun together, don't you think its time, dont you want to take this relationship to the next level...besides…I think I am falling in love with you." Mike stared into her eyes; he reached up and cupped her face.

Brenda looked at him and smiled; she took a deep breath and gave him a nod, "I think…I am too." She said softly as she watched him sit up and bring his face close to hers. He leaned in and kissed her gently.

He moved out from her, looking at her intently, "Let me spend the night."

Brenda took a deep breath and looked at him, he had been patient with her, he had been a gentlemen, it wasn't like Brenda hadn't thought about it, she did, often, truthfully she did want to, she gave him a small smile. "Alright Mike…you can stay the night." Brenda gave in.

Mike seemed surprised, "Really?" he moved in closer to her again. Mike raised his eyebrow

Brenda smirked, "Really." she said softly leaning into him.

Mike growled before kissing her which made Brenda giggle. He pressed himself against her as she lay on her back.

**

Dylan carried his surfboard in from the car resting it against the wall. He hit play on his message machine and looked at the letter resting on the table. After Jonesy had shown up, they had talked for a while about a plan on finding Kevin and Suzanne. After some arguing Jonesy finally talked Dylan into a price that included 7 figures assuming Dylan still had millions left. Jonesy left saying he would call him as soon as he had any leads. Dylan and Jonesy had been working closely for the last couple of months. They even followed Jonesy's leads to Mexico but came up short after Suzanne and Kevin left right under their nose. As his messages played, Dylan listened as Brandon, Steve, the bank, bill collectors and his mother had all left messages for him.

"_Beep_…Dylan…its Jonesy calling from jolly old England…pack your bags and grab your passport boy, I found a Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Weaver in no other than London. Except they are not Kevin and Suzanne this time they are Carl and Kitty Cavendish, cute right. They have Erica too. I had FedEx send over the itinerary, flight info and hotel info. Your plane leaves tomorrow 8 am. Call me if you need anything, if not I will see you tomorrow afternoon. Ta Ta old chap." Jonesy laughed at himself before hanging up.

Dylan stared at the answering machine shocked, what are the odds? A smile spread across her face as he realized his luck. His sister and his Brenda in the same place…and he was able to go there. Dylan's eyes shifted quickly to the letter. His smile faded as he picked up the letter and read it again.

_Dear Dylan,_

_You don't know me, my name is Olivia and I am Brenda's roommate here at RADA. We roomed together during the summer and were lucky enough to get housing together again this fall. I feel like I almost know you, Brenda talks about you all the time. You are probably asking yourself when I am going to get to the point and well, Brenda told me she isn't coming back. She told me everything that you have been going through and because I understand and care for her, I was the one who got her the plane ticket to L.A. I knew that there was nothing more she wanted then to help you and it sounds like she did exactly that. Now hearing her not coming back is just so unfortunate. I know she loves you and obviously you love her too but if you really love her you will try to talk some sense into her. I know it isn't easy being away from each other and that letting go and telling her to leave may not be possible but I beg you to at least try. But because it may not be possible, I also have included an open ended plane ticket, from Los Angeles to London. Whether you come with her or even just visit it may just get her on that plane on Monday. She is so damn talented, she gets on the stage and people stop what they are doing to just to watch her. I am not exactly sure what it is about her but you can't help but be drawn to her. She has fun here, she loves school, she loves acting and she even got me into studying and it would be such a shame to let it all go especially considering she has been given the chance of a lifetime to study here. I have wanted to attend this school since I was 5 years old and I have never heard or read about anyone getting a full scholarship and an invite. It's just unheard of. I know she loves it here, but I also know the one thing she loves more…is you. Do it for Brenda, talk her into coming back here Dylan and come along too for the ride. _

_Sincerely,_

_Olivia_

Dylan set down the letter and picked up the plane ticket. He had the opportunity to go to London these past couple of months but didn't and now, he didn't have an excuse. Olivia had sent the letter to Dylan in rehab but since the mail system was slow the rehab had eventually forwarded it to Dylan's home. By the time Dylan got it, Brenda had been back in London. Dylan didn't know how much had changed since Brenda had left, he didn't know what was going on with her, if she was seeing someone. He had written her and had never heard back. He was afraid and that's why he didn't go, afraid of what she would say, that she wouldn't be happy to see him, that she had really moved on. Dylan knew Brenda was serious about letting go and saying goodbye and now he was going to be going to London, maybe his first reaction was a positive one but now he wasn't sure. Dylan had always went after what he wanted, he had never been afraid to go after it and now he was. He looked over at the phone as it began to ring, he moved to it and picked it up quickly.

"Hello."

"Dylan…man, its Jonesy…we have a problem."

"What…don't tell me they are on the move again?" Dylan yelled.

"No…that's not it, lets just say my plan involves a beautiful women and…well Jonesy isn't the best drunk. Irene...she got pissed and bailed. Anyway you can get someone to come with you?"

Dylan sighed and began to think. The first person he thought of was Brenda but how could he get her to help if she wouldn't even talk to him. "Maybe…the girl I am thinking of lives in London, maybe I could get her to help us. What exactly do you need her to do, I am not ok with anything that would put her in danger."

"No…it would not be dangerous, she needs to be a pretty good actress though, she needs to be beautiful and flirty. No danger…Jonesy is a lover not a fighter."

Dylan took a deep breath, "Alright, we will see if she will help us, if she doesn't, I know someone who will but we'll have to send her a ticket if it comes to that. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright, the FedEx package will have a cell phone, bring it with you and I will call you after you land."

Dylan ran his hand through his hair, "Ok…later." He hung up the phone and shook his head. Now Dylan didn't have an excuse, he had to go see Brenda, maybe Valerie would have been the better choice and Dylan still may have to ask her but maybe this was his chance to get her back. Maybe this was his way to approach her, even if she said no he would still get the chance to see her. Dylan took a deep breath and lowered himself to the couch. If Dylan wasn't afraid of many things then why was he terrified to see her.

**

Brenda smirked as she brushed through her hair. She was almost in la la land she didn't even hear Olivia come in.

"Hey." Olivia smiled looking at Brenda's expression, "What's with you? You look like someone who finally got a good screw." Olivia joked.

Brenda mouth dropped as she turned to look at her, "Is it obvious?"

"Shut up…you and Mike? You and Mike boned?" Olivia smiled as she sat on her bed, "Wow…Brenda…good for you, I was totally joking." Olivia laughed.

Brenda smiled and shrugged, "It was amazing."

"Nice…tell me more." Olivia leaned in a bit.

"Oh come on, I told you enough." Brenda turned toward the mirror and began putting on her make up.

"What? No details? I thought friends always told each other details."

Brenda shook her head, "Nice try." she applied her lip stick.

Olivia sighed and got up grabbing Brenda's desk chair and whirling it around so she could sit backwards on it. Olivia hadn't noticed anything resting on it so when she pulled it out a few pieces of paper dropped onto the ground. "Damn…sorry." Olivia went to pick it up but Brenda went in too. Olivia beat her though as she picked up a letter.

"When did he write you?" Olivia said seeing it was from Dylan.

Brenda bit the inside of her cheek and shrugged, "A couple months ago."

"How many times have you read it?" Olivia looked down at the weathered piece of paper.

"A few times." Brenda looked at her friend and took a deep breath.

"Bren…a few times? Come on." Olivia sat on the chair and looked at her, "Did you write him back?"

Brenda shook her head.

"What does it say?" Olivia asked sweetly seeing Brenda was getting upset.

"Read it…it doesn't matter." Brenda took a deep breath and watched Olivia lift the letter and begin reading it.

_Brenda, _

_I have been trying to find the words and no matter what I try to say it may not change the way you feel. I got your letter and I don't believe you. I think you and I both know letting each other go is not easy. I tried, you tried and it doesn't matter how hard we try we cant, and that's the point. I love you and I will always love you and you can't change that. You will always be my Bren and nothing will make me think otherwise._

_I'll stick around and see how bad it gets I_

_'ll settle down and deal with old regrets _

_I can't let you go_

_You're part of my soul _

_You're all that I know. _

_There is no way I could let you go _

_Is it better now _

_Do you feel like all is fair _

_Can we work it out _

_So it's easier for me to bear _

_Because life It can blind you _

_And I can't let you go_

_Down from the edge _

_I can see where we end _

_I'd give up all my days to go back _

_There was all this wonder _

_And all this magic _

_Is all this wonder _

_Over and done _

_Cause I can't let you go_

_If love were a whisper _

_What would I give you to speak _

_Maybe you're out of my reach _

_But still I can't let you go_

_Love always, _

_Dylan_

Olivia looked up at Brenda who quickly wiped her face. "Are you moving on with Mike just to spite him?"

"No…I like Mike. I don't know why I torture myself with reading that letter. It's just his poem its so him…and its sweet but when I read it, it makes me hate him because of the fact he did let me go." Brenda looked down.

Olivia took a deep breath, "Bren…I have to tell you something. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to hate me."

Brenda looked at her curiously, "What?"

Olivia swallowed hard, "Before I tell you I have to start by saying…I didn't have many real friends back in new York. Growing up the way I did, you learn at a young age that people sometimes only like you because they want something."

"Olivia…I know, I went to high school in Beverly Hills, I know." Brenda nodded her head and gave her a small smile.

"You are the first person who didn't care who my father was, and you like me for me, you are real and true and I care about you…a lot." Olivia added.

Brenda nodded and kept listening.

Olivia's eyes began to tear, "Bren…when you told me you weren't coming back to school, I…I wrote Dylan a letter in rehab."

"What?" Brenda hissed. "What did you say?" Brenda voice became louder as she spoke trying to contain her anger.

"I asked him to talk you into coming back. I." Olivia looked down, "I told him if he loved you he would want what's best for you."

"How could you do that to me? No wonder he broke up with me, it was because of you." Brenda stood up looking down at her.

"Brenda…" Olivia wasn't sure if she wanted to tell her about the ticket, if Dylan had done it because of her letter, would it kill her if she knew he had the chance to come but didn't?

"I can't believe you would do that to me. And here I have been pissed at him, ignoring letters because I thought he was just being a jerk…when…what choice did he have."

Olivia shook her head, "Bren…its not what you think, I sent him a plane ticket. I told him that I knew how much you loved each other and that it was hard to let go…so I sent him an open dated ticket." Olivia said softly. "I am so sorry."

"Oh." Brenda breathed out, "So…he had the choice to come here and chose not too." Brenda was holding back tears. She lightly smiled covering up her emotions and shrugged, "It doesn't matter."

Brenda grabbed her school stuff, "I am going be late for class."

"Brenda…are you mad at me? Are you ok?" Olivia stopped her.

Brenda faced the door, she didn't turn around but Olivia saw her shake her head. "No…I am not mad at you...thanks for telling me and it was actually sweet…I am fine." Brenda reached for the door and left.

Olivia lowered herself to the bed and took a deep breath, it was good she finally told Brenda the truth. But Olivia didn't feel better, she knew Brenda was heartbroken, how do you take the fact that the man you are in love with actually chose not to be with you…again.

_Ok so now the secret is out and now Brenda is more mad at Dylan. Eeek cause he is going there. Just so everyone knows I am well aware that Kevin and Suzanne know Brenda and Dylan will realize that Jonesy's plan which is the same as the original show, will not work then, but Dylan doesn't know yet. So guess who Dylan will have to get involved? Should be interesting huh, Brenda, Dylan, Valerie working together. Well that is if Brenda will actually agree to anything. And well now there is a boyfriend in the mix too. Please review, its about to get interesting. The more reviews I get the faster I will update. *evil grins*_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 London**

Dylan packed shoving clothes into a duffle bag. He laid out the cell phone Jonesy had sent, along with the flight info, where Jonesy was staying and his passport. He made a mental note checking and making sure he had everything. As he opened his passport a picture of Erica and Brenda fell into his hand. He studied it for a moment and took a deep breath. He couldn't forget the most important reason for this trip, to get Erica back but the thoughts of approaching Brenda was almost more terrifying than whatever plan crazy ass Jonesy had in store. He set the pictures back into the passport and called out hearing a knock at the door.

"Hang on…I am coming." Dylan yelled out. Picking up the duffle bag and hurrying to the front door. Dylan swung it open assuming it was the airport shuttle but instead Valerie came walking in.

"Hey…good morning." Valerie smiled and sat on the futon. "I got my hands on some killer scones, want one?"

"What are you doing here, its 6 am?" Dylan was shocked to see Valerie over this early.

"I was passing by, I have an early class and saw the curtains open, I hadn't seen you in a while…I missed you."

"Well now isn't a good time." Dylan seemed rushed as he started shoving things into his pockets.

Valerie's face turned serious as she looked toward the bedroom, "Why…is someone else here?" her tone bitter. Valerie and Dylan hadn't had sex in many months but Dylan was Valerie's only real friend. She could be herself with him, escape with him. She didn't have to put on an act with him. He didn't care if she was a wild child; he wasn't like Brandon and Kelly and the rest of them judging her. Valerie wanted more from Dylan, but Dylan had kept his word, staying platonic except for a few weak moments. Still all they had done was kiss but Dylan did care for her, and Valerie couldn't help but be jealous.

"No…its nothing like that, I am going out of town." Dylan opened his front door looking out for the shuttle.

"Well great…can I come?" Valerie smiled and got up.

"No…not this time, it's not that kind of trip. I'll call you when I get back."

"Come on Dylan…I am bored to death, it will be fun."

Valerie…come on, you expect me to believe I was your only stop this early in the morning. What were you leaving someone's house from the night before? You thought you would drop by for a little wake up call…come on Val, I know you."

Valerie's mouth dropped as she gave him a dirty look, "Whatever Dylan…I'll remember that." she said hastily as she stormed out. Valerie was insulted she wasn't sleeping with or seeing anyone.

Dylan shook his head as the honk of the shuttle sounded as he hurried grabbing his bag and headed out the front door. He knew he had hurt Valerie but he would have to deal with it later.

Dylan walked around the airport in London. He didn't see Jonesy anywhere nor had he got a call on that cell phone. After scoping the place out and walking around for an hour he made his way to a quiet area, taking out the cell phone and calling Jonesy's cell. Dylan banged the cell phone closed down when there was no answer. Dylan found the hotel information and took a cab. After banging on the door for several minutes he finally paid one of the maids to open the door. Dylan shook his head to find Jonesy passed out face down on the bed; the smell of stale liquor filled the room.

"Hey." Dylan said bringing his foot to the bed and shaking it.

Nothing, not even a stir, "Hey…wake up." Dylan yelled kicking the bed.

Jonesy stirred and moaned, "It's not a good time kid, come back later."

"Like hell it is, I just took an 8 hour flight, I am not coming back, get the hell up." Dylan kicked the bed again.

"Alright…alright, relax." Jonesy rubbed his face, struggling to get out of bed.

Jonesy and Dylan had words considering Jonesy was drunk or had been. Dylan questioned if he could actually do the job, he was sure as hell paying him enough to do it. After some choice words and a yelling match Dylan gave in and decided he really didn't have any other choices. If he was going to get Erica back and his trust back, he was going to need help. Whatever it was, it was better than where he was now.

"So where does this girl live?" Jonesy said as they secretly parked in an alley facing a rather big town home.

"In the theater district, I have to be honest with you though; me and Bren…aren't exactly on the best terms right now." Dylan took the binoculars from Jonesy looking toward the house.

"Well…that's great, why the hell not? Don't tell me this is a girl you have a past with?" Jonesy threw up his hands, "Great…it's a girl you fuck…great." he mumbled.

"Hey…watch your mouth." Dylan said angrily, "Yes she and I dated but I think I can get her to come around. Let's just say I am not the best drunk either. What exactly does she need to do?" Dylan handed the binoculars back.

As Jonesy brought them to his face, a smirk spread across his face, "Bingo…Carl…and Kitty Cavendish." Jonesy nodded proud at himself, "They took out a year lease. They have 50 grand in a local London bank but the big bucks are hiding away in a bank in the Cayman Islands. 10 million to be exact."

"How do you know that?" Dylan took the binoculars back focusing on no other than Suzanne and Kevin. They looked to be waiting for a car, as Dylan stared at them, out came Erica as she ran to them. "There's Erica." Dylan whispered. She had gotten so big, she was so pretty but still the same sweet girl he had met and fell in love with.

"Let's just say Jonesy has his ways. That's where your girl comes in. Let's head over and talk to her, we should get this plan going in the next couple days." Jonesy started the car.

Dylan lowered the binoculars and took a deep breath, "What's the plan exactly?"

Jonesy didn't answer him as he began to drive toward the theater district. "What's the address?"

Dylan ran his hand across his face and hesitated, he shook his head and after a moment he finally spoke, "64 Gower Street, room 24"

**

Brenda smiled in between scenes as she looked at Mike. Whoever said sex didn't bring people closer obviously didn't know what they were talking about. Brenda wasn't sure if it was the revelation that Olivia had brought on about Dylan or the fact that she really was falling in love with Mike but being with him made her forget about everything. Not only that but they had both got the lead in the holiday performance of Two Hearts and they were enjoying, probably more than they should have, working together in a play like that. Their chemistry was undeniable and since they were really dating, it was easy to act out the love scenes and romantic aspect of the play. It had actually been one of the easiest characters to get into. Opening night was in a week and everyone was feeling the pressure and excitement.

"Alright…people…Christine and Albert…take it from the top of Act 3." the director called out as Brenda and Mike took there cue.

**

Dylan sat in the car and looked up at the building, Jonesy just started at him because he was having second thoughts about using Brenda. Obviously Dylan had issues with it as well and to Jonesy it looked like Dylan was too attached to Brenda or his feeling were too strong for her. Jonesy didn't need any drama; he needed to get the job done. They wouldn't have another chance, if Kevin and Suzanne caught on, it would be over and who knows when they would find them again.

"Just so you know, I am not getting any younger." Jonesy commented as he stared over at Dylan. "Want me to come with you?"

Dylan shook his head and swallowed, "No…I'll be back, if I am longer than a half hour, I will get a ride back to the hotel." he exhaled opening up the door. He stared at the building again looking up the steps. "Here goes nothing…the moment of truth." Dylan mumbled as he took the steps two at a time.

Dylan found the second floor and walked down the hallway reading the plaques on each door as he tried to find room 24. He dodged a flying football, being in a mostly American housing building there were people in and out of the halls, music blaring and anything else you may find in a college apartment building. He came across room 24 and stopped in front of it. An overwhelming feeling came over Dylan and he had actually turned to say forget it when the front door of Brenda's room swung open. Dylan turned around and noticed a girl. She was taller, thin, she had big blue eyes and long eyelashes, short brown hair cut in a trendy bob and a look to her you didn't see in Beverly Hills. She was city, with a grunge punk persona. She stared at him, he didn't know who she was, but the way she looked at him, he knew she knew who he was.

"Dylan?" Olivia said shocked.

Dylan gave her an uncomfortable smile, "Olivia I presume."

"Yeah." she breathed out looking at him speechless.

"Did I come at a bad time? You look like you're going somewhere." Dylan stuck his hands in his pocket.

Olivia took a deep breath and glanced into her room, "Uh yeah actually I was going to head over to the main theater…what are you doing here?" Olivia wasn't one to beat around the bush.

"Long story…is Bren here?" Dylan's voice became low as he looked down at his feet.

Olivia exhaled, "No…she is in rehearsal, that's where I was going…to watch." Olivia spoke slowly; she was shocked to see this guy that Brenda talked so fondly of or at least used too. He also was 10 times cuter than his pictures and he had an air about him that made her nervous but was strangely addicting at the same time.

"Can I come along?" Dylan said making eye contact with her once again.

"Dylan…what are you doing? I have to be honest with you; I don't know how happy Brenda is going to be to see you."

"Well maybe you should leave that up to her." Dylan said with attitude, he was nervous already he didn't need Olivia making things worse.

Olivia got the vibe quickly and crossed her arms, she motioned with her head for him to come inside, "I'll take you to the rehearsal, but I want to know why you are here first."

Dylan sighed and moved past her into Brenda and Olivia's room. Olivia shook her head, what the hell did she do? She closed the door behind him and stood near it as she watched Dylan look around. Dylan glanced down at a few frames set up near Brenda's bed. There was a group shot of Sean, Olivia, her and Mike. One of her and Mike at rehearsal, another of her family, and one of her, Kelly and Donna.

"Surprised there is none of you?" Olivia said in a bitchy tone as she stared at him with her arms crossed.

Dylan shook his head turning around to look at her, "Not really." he said softly. Surprised…no…hurt…yes. Brenda was always an out of sight out of mind kind of girl.

"So…what's up, you haven't called or wrote a letter in months, you have a flight at your disposal to come here anytime and now…months later you show up. I can't wait to hear this." Olivia stared at him. She never once cracked a smile.

Dylan's first reaction was to give her attitude back but realized Olivia's tough exterior didn't look like an act. He could tell by the hint of New Yorker in her accent she wasn't messing around and why would she. She was Brenda's close friend; of course she would be protective. Dylan almost was glad she had made friends like that here. "Look I can only imagine what you think about me, I didn't come to London before because after Brenda wrote me that letter telling me to leave her alone, I thought about it and decided to do what she asked. There were a couple times I had packed and was this close to hopping on the plane." Dylan took a deep breath, "But I was nervous. Nervous to see her, nervous she had really moved on. I was…" Dylan hesitated.

"A pussy." Olivia finished his sentence.

Dylan cleared his throat by her forwardness, "Well…yeah." Dylan looked down swallowing hard, "I guess I was." He said softly.

"And why now?"

"I have been working with the guy she got in contact with when she was in L.A. Jonesy tracked down my sister here and I want to ask Brenda for help." Dylan laid it out for her.

"You're here with Jonesy?" Olivia eyes widened and her tough girl exterior took a turn, "Jonesy is in London?"

Dylan nodded confused, "You know Jonesy?"

Olivia smiled, "Do I know Jonesy, hell yeah I know him. He is an old friend of my fathers. He helped him in the same way years ago. He is the best."

Dylan smirked, "Yeah well it still needs to be proven. He is…an unusual guy that Jonesy."

Olivia laughed, "Yeah he is, but the guy knows what he's doing. So…what makes you so sure Brenda will help you? Maybe she _has_ moved on." Olivia put up her guard again.

Dylan exhaled and shrugged, "I guess I don't, but…I would never forgive myself if I had come here and hadn't at least tried. If anything to see her, if that's all." Dylan looked down sadly.

Olivia reached for the door looking at him. She saw the hurt and nervousness he was putting out and even though Olivia didn't know Dylan, she could tell he wasn't the kind of guy that showed those things often. "Come on…the theater is like 2 seconds away." Olivia held the door open for him.

Dylan smirked as he headed for the door. Olivia and Dylan headed to the theater making small talk mostly about how Jonesy was doing. As they came to the big double doors of the theater Olivia moved in front of them. "I am surprised you haven't asked yet."

"Asked what?" Dylan looked at her intently, wondering what now?

"Just about Brenda…how she is doing? If she is seeing anybody? You know the things people ask."

Dylan looked down and took a deep breath, "It doesn't matter if she is seeing someone."

Olivia set her hand on her hip and looked at him. She smirked and shook her head, "You're a cocky son of a bitch huh?"

Dylan smirked back, "I guess I am." Dylan looked to the side before meeting Olivia's glare again, "Is it serious?" he said genuinely as his smirk went away.

Olivia shrugged playfully, "I thought it didn't matter."

Dylan exhaled and looked at her, she could tell it did matter and it did bother him but he wouldn't admit it.

"Has anyone ever told you, you're kind of a bitch?" Dylan smirked again.

Olivia smiled and nodded her head, "Yep…all the time." She moved out of the way and set her hand on the door, "I know I have been giving you shit but…I have been on your side the whole time. And…they have been dating a couple months." Olivia let her guard down again. She liked him, what could she say. He had her at bitch. Olivia opened up the door and they both slowly walked in together. They were in the middle of scenes and Dylan stared down at the stage from the back of the theater. His eyes locked on her in an instant, the way she moved around the stage. He could tell it was her even if he hadn't seen her face. She looked different, her hair was longer. It had only been a few months but that was the first thing he noticed. Olivia looked over at him, his eyes still fixated on Brenda. There was a sparkle in them that wasn't there before.

"She is amazing huh?" Olivia whispered, only to see Dylan nod in agreement.

Dylan's heart was beating so fast, and he felt tightness in the middle of his stomach. Dylan followed Olivia's lead as they walked down a few rows and sat down. "What's the play about?" Dylan leaned in whispering to Olivia, keeping his eyes on the stage.

They chatted as quietly as possible, "Brenda's character's, Christine, is in love with Albert…but she is engaged to William. Albert and Christine have been apart for 8 years but he comes back out of the blue and wants her back." Olivia looked at Dylan with a smirk, "It's oddly like your real life."

Dylan shook his head with a smile as they continued to watch. He was beginning to like Olivia more and more, she was comfortable to be around, even though she gave him a hard time, Dylan respected that. As the rehearsal ended, Olivia and Dylan kept their seats in the back. As more and more of the students were beginning to leave, they both looked around and didn't see Brenda.

"Come on, we can wait in the lobby, she has to go out there to leave the building."

Dylan and Olivia walked into the lobby, "Olivia…I am really…really nervous." Dylan turned to her, "Like how bad does she hate me?"

Olivia gave him a sympathetic smile, "Honestly, I don't think she hates you at all, but…" Olivia sighed, "You know Bren, I am sure she will make you suffer a little."

"I wouldn't expect anything less." Dylan joked as he noticed Olivia's face change. He knew she was behind him.

"Brenda." Olivia called out.

"Hey…what are you doing here?" Brenda called out coming toward them. Dylan heard her voice; he didn't even know he had missed it until that moment. He took a deep breath and faced the fear he had had for the last couple months...and turned around.

Brenda froze mid walk as the smile on her face faded quickly. She felt her heart beat so fast is seemed it would come out her throat. Actually all the noise around her stopped and if she listened close enough she could hear only the sound of it and her breathing. She stared at him, as he stared back at her. A small shy smile spread across his face after several moments but all Brenda could do was stare at him. What was he doing there? Why now? Brenda took a deep breath taking a step forward as Mike came out of no where wrapping his arms around her and lifting her slightly. Brenda kept her eyes on Dylan as Mike turned her a bit and pressed his lips to hers.

Dylan watched as the love of his life was wrapped into someone else's arms. Even though he was warned about her seeing someone, it didn't make it any easier to actually see it. Dylan kept his eyes on her, he couldn't look away. Almost in a trance, Olivia rested her hand sympathetically on his back as he came too. Mike gently placed Brenda back to her feet, leaning in and gently kissing her again. Dylan saw Brenda pull away quickly and turn her cheek in Dylan's direction as Mike kissed her again on the cheek. Dylan felt like he got hit with a Mack truck, he almost found it hard to breathe but he looked at her sadly and took a deep breath as Brenda and Mike approached them.

_: ( I am sad…poor Dylan, but he deserves it, I mean how did he think Brenda felt watching Kelly and him do the same thing in front of her at school all the time. Anyway review pretty please, tell me how mean I am lol what do you think Brenda is going to do? What about Dylan…or Mike? Let me know. _


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 A New Plan**

As Brenda came closer to where Dylan and Olivia were standing, she felt his stare. It pierced through her soul and she caught his eyes lower themselves and set on Mike's arm wrapped tightly around her waist. She stood in front of him when his eyes met hers again.

"Hey Bren." Dylan said softly.

His voice, something Brenda loved. It was sexy and soft and mysterious and it was something she never got out of her head. The way he said her nickname that other people called her but it didn't have the same meaning as when he did it. Brenda stood quiet, its like if she opened her mouth to speak no words would come back anyway.

"Hey…I am Mike." Mike held out his hand.

Dylan looked down at Mike's hand and then at him briefly. He reached out to shake his hand but he found Brenda's eyes again, "Dylan." he introduced himself.

Mike looked at Brenda quickly knowing the name well. "Dylan?"

Brenda took a deep breath as she looked up at Mike. His eyes told a different story, he gave her a look of confusion and fear.

"We caught a little of the rehearsal you were great." Dylan said trying to break the silence.

Brenda still stood silent, she swallowed hard, "What are you doing here?" she finally got out.

"Can I talk to you for a second…alone?" Dylan asked as he looked at Mike who by now was staring at him. The glare had jealousy written all over it and it gave Dylan some satisfaction that it was there and that Mike knew who he was and seemed bothered by his presence.

Brenda began to shake her head as she uncomfortably looked at Mike again, "Go ahead." Mike said calmly.

Brenda gave him a small smile, "I'll be right back." Brenda began to walk away as Dylan followed. She turned around out of ear shot from Mike and Olivia and crossed her arms. "Dylan." Brenda shook her head scared to death to know what was going on.

"You…look beautiful." Dylan said softly as his eyes looked her up and down.

Brenda cleared her throat, she knew the look well, "Dylan…cut the crap, what's going on…why are you here?"

"Olivia said I could find you here."

"Ok…but why are you in London?" Brenda's tone changed as she found herself annoyed.

Dylan took a deep breath glancing to the side seeing both Olivia and Mike staring at them. "Jonesy…found Erica." he said honestly.

"Is she alright?" Brenda said concerned.

"I don't really know, she is living here in London with Kevin and Suzanne, about 15 minutes from here."

Brenda took a deep breath, "Oh…so that's why you're here." Brenda regretted her tone after she heard herself, her tone expressed sadness and she didn't want to give him the satisfaction. It figures the reason he had come had nothing to do with her.

Dylan slowly gave her a nod and looked down, "So…that guy Mike…he is your boyfriend?" Dylan glanced back at her.

Brenda looked at Mike, knowing that he was freaking out inside, "Yeah…Mike is my boyfriend."

"Is it serious?" Dylan wasn't sure why he asked.

"Dylan…don't do this." Brenda shook her head.

"Sorry." he apologized quickly, "I am staying at the Bentley Hotel, Jonesy is here and…I came to ask for your help." Dylan quickly got to the point. "Will you help me get Erica back?"

Brenda looked over at Mike quickly and back at Dylan, she slowly nodded her head agreeing to help him. As Dylan and Brenda took a cab to Dylan's hotel he had thought of their reunion. It wasn't what he had hoped. Something told Dylan that the climax of his arrival had yet to come out. There was only so much Brenda could do or say in front of Mike. After all four of them had an awkward walk back to the dorm hall, Dylan had to wait patiently as what Dylan had assumed was some sort of explanation to why she was leaving alone with him to go back to his hotel. Dylan looked over at Brenda who was sitting silently looking out the window of the cab.

"Thanks for doing this Bren." Dylan said quietly.

Brenda slowly looked over at him, "I am doing it for Erica."

Dylan nodded looking straight ahead, he looked down sadly, "You never wrote me back."

Brenda with out looking at him, "You had a ticket to come here and you never came." she snapped back.

"I know." Dylan looked over at her as she met his stare, "I was scared." he admitted.

"Of what? Scared to be with me?" Brenda seemed hurt.

"Scared…" Dylan hesitated, "I would see you how I saw you today. With someone else, someone else in the place I want to be in, moved on, happy…over me." Dylan kept his eyes on her. "And I guess I had a right to be huh?"

Brenda looked away as the cab came to the front entrance of the hotel. She watched Dylan pay the driver as they both got out. They walked through the lobby and came to the elevator. Brenda and Dylan both reached out to hit the up button. Their hands grazed each other and Brenda pulled away quickly as she allowed Dylan to hit the button. Brenda felt his eyes on her the whole time as more people came and joined them in waiting for the one elevator the hotel had. As the door opened, Brenda allowed an older man and women to go in before her. They filed in and Dylan hit floor 22. More people rushed the elevator as a man held the door open. Soon the elevator was full and Brenda scooted closer to Dylan making room for the added people. She felt his body against the right side of her back.

Dylan glanced down feeling Brenda close to him, he lowered his head bringing his face close to her. He leaned in and took in her scent. Brenda felt him close to her as she closed her eyes. He was so close to her she practically felt his mouth against her skin as his hot breath sent chills down her spine. Slowly she felt his left hand move gently around her waist, pulling her against him. He waited for a reaction and when he didn't get a negative one he kept going. His hand felt the top of her jeans, he softly caressed her bare skin as his finger tips ran in between the top of her jeans and the bottom of her shirt. The doors opened as it brought Brenda out of her trance. She watched as half the group left the elevator. Dylan's arm tightened around her waist keeping her close to him even though there was room to spread out now. When the last person left on the 18th floor, the doors closed as the elevator started again to the 22nd floor. Brenda slowly turned her head to look up at him. She knew the look and she missed it. It was hard to turn down but she knew she had too, as Brenda saw Dylan starting to lean in a bit she turned her head as his lips hit her cheek instead. Dylan lingered for a moment and began to whisper in her ear, "I missed being close to you." Brenda exhaled and her eyes closed again.

The door opened quickly and Brenda was the first one to move toward the opening. They didn't say anything to one another as they walked the short hall to Dylan's hotel room. Dylan stuck his key in the door and as it beeped, Dylan pressed down on the handle. Before pushing the door open he stopped and looked at her.

"Come on Dylan…open the door." she said almost worn out. His advances, his touch, the feeling she felt when he was close to her was overwhelming.

"What am I doing?" he said innocently.

"You know what you're doing…and I am here for one reason…to help your sister."

Dylan swallowed hard and slowly gave her a nod. He pushed the door open and held it letting Brenda in. Dylan and Brenda walked into the sitting area of the room to find Jonesy on his laptop. He looked up with a smile as his eyes ran down her frame. She moved closer to Dylan by instinct as she felt uncomfortable for a moment. Jonesy got up and moved in closer to her.

"You must be Brenda." Jonesy kept his smug smile and held out his hand.

Brenda gave him a sweet smile and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Well Dylan…you were right, she definitely is pretty enough." Jonesy held out his hand motioning Brenda and Dylan to take a seat on the couch across from him.

"So what exactly do you need Bren for? Now that she is here, I think its time you fill me in on the plan." Dylan said as he sat close to Brenda, she may only be there because of Erica but Dylan hadn't seen Brenda in months and he was actually enjoying the fact that Brenda would have never told him no in regards to Erica. Dylan was fully aware how much she adored Erica and his sister felt the same about her. She was always hinting around how much better she liked Brenda than Kelly, how she thought they belonged together and how she didn't understand why they had ever broken up. For an 11 year old, that said a lot that she was that observant considering how inexperienced and young she was. Dylan didn't have a problem admitting to himself he was enjoying this more than he should be. Also Brenda might have known that the only reason he went to London was for Erica but what she didn't know was that Dylan needed her more than anything right now and she was the only one that could provide the support he needed.

"Well…Brenda and I will be checking in as Mr. & Mrs. Smith, there is a upper class hotel within walking distance to Kevin and Suzanne's home and they frequent it a lot for dinners, and other hotel amenities. So what I need Brenda here to do is pretend she is my wife, and charm the socks out of Kevin. I have been keeping my tabs on him and he is not a happily married man, he hits on anything with a pretty face and tits, so he should be easy to get to. What we will need her to do is get him to trust her, get him to open up to her so he spills the information about that bank in the Cayman's…got it?"

Brenda and Dylan looked at each other quickly both thinking the same thing.

"What? You can't handle that doll?" Jonesy said sarcastically seeing the concern in both their faces.

Brenda shook her head, "No…of course I could." She almost took offense Jonesy didn't think she had it in her. "But I can't do that…Kevin and Suzanne have met me, I cant waltz in there pretending to be someone else. I mean they may not remember who I am but Erica indeed does know me and well why risk it." Brenda shrugged.

"Damn it Dylan…you never said Brenda knew them, I should have known not to work with amateurs..."

"Hey…" Dylan got up and yelled, "You never said anything about what exactly she would need to do. What makes you think I would even allow her to pretend to be anything even remotely close to a wife to you? If you would have told me the plan I wouldn't have even considered Brenda for the part. There is no way I would let her shack up with you in that hotel…"

"Ok." Brenda got up and got between the two men, "there is no point in arguing about it now. What are we going to do? What about Olivia?" Brenda turned directing her question to Dylan.

"Oh hell no, not Olivia, her father would murder me. I was there when that beauty was born, we can't pretend to be married, she is like a daughter to me, that's just wrong." Jonesy sat quickly putting his feet up on the coffee table. "What about that fox that was at your house when we met? She will most definitely do, she is pretty, sexy and she definitely has the attitude to pull it off." Jonesy looked at Dylan as Brenda's head whipped around looking at him as well.

"Who?" Brenda said glaring at him and Dylan sneered hearing the sarcasm in her voice and liking it.

"Val…she would do it." Dylan nodded looking back and forth between them.

Jealousy rushed over Brenda but she tried to hide it. Her insecurity involving Valerie and Dylan together shouldn't come between the important factor, getting Erica back. Brenda instead swallowed her pride and gave him a nod, "Val…would be good." She agreed.

Dylan then moved to the phone and dialed collect calling the Walsh house, "Please answer…please answer." Dylan whispered not wanting anyone but Valerie to actually pick up the phone.

"Hello." Valerie said picking up the phone.

"I have a collect call from…Dylan, Val don't hang up...do you except the charges?" Dylan's recorded voice played through the phone.

"Yeah." Valerie rolled her eyes still mad at his comment from days early. "What Dylan? I am still pissed at you."

Brenda walked closer to where he was on the phone as she eased dropped.

"Val…I know I am sorry, I didn't mean it." Dylan said trying to calm her.

"I am sick of the way you treat me, I would do anything for you and you just say whatever you want to me, you have no filter, you don't care if you hurt my feelings, I am not sleeping with anyone Dylan and that comment, even though you didn't actually say it, hinted to the fact that you thought I was a slut…and you should talk." Valerie raised her voice.

Dylan took a deep breath making eye contact with Brenda. He knew she was listening and the faint tone of yelling could be heard from the phone. "Valerie…listen to me…I need to you come here. I need your help."

"Oh now you need my help…you didn't want me to come on your trip but now it's a different story?"

"Val…shut up and grab a pen." Dylan yelled. "I am going to set you up for a morning flight to London, Jonesy found Suzanne and Kevin and they are here, I need your help…I will owe you." Dylan calmed his tone.

Valerie sighed, "London? Why don't you ask your precious Brenda?"

Dylan shook his head, "You know what, fine…if you don't want to help me then don't. I am sorry about the other day. If you are going to be a bitch then forget it. See ya around." Dylan heard Valerie call his name as be began to set down the phone to hang up.

"Dylan…what airline?" Valerie said defeated. If Dylan truly needed her help she wasn't going to say no.

Brenda paced around the hotel room as Dylan rambled on about flight times and airlines. She caught Jonesy's eye watching her, she sat across from him and stared back at him, "What?" she said short.

Jonesy shrugged, "It's just nice to meet you. He has been talking about you non stop. I thought he was going to have a heart attack before he actually met up with you. I had a feeling…besides Kevin and Suzanne knowing who you are, I had my doubts about getting you involved with this. It isn't dangerous per say but you could just tell by his actions and words, he cares about you too much. I am sure we would have been a hell of a team though." Jonesy gave her a wink and laughed out loud as he leaned back against the couch again.

Brenda smiled back and shook her head, he had creeped her out at first but he was harmless, a pervert maybe but harmless. Brenda looked over at Dylan, him being there was scary for her. She couldn't remember a time when she wasn't in love with him and now…she was finally trying to be happy, she was trying to move on and just when she was starting to get comfortable with Mike, he shows up. Out of no where, his touch still sent her senses into overdrive, he still made her stomach flip with butterflies and she still saw that spirit and love in his eyes she had missed so much. She yearned for it, with every letter she had received from him it was like a peak into his heart. She had truthfully read over that last letter probably 100 times. Dylan telling her that he would never let her go was heartfelt and sweet. And even though she was trying to distant herself from him, the only thing it did was bring her heart closer to him. Brenda didn't care how she felt about him, she didn't care that he was in London. She wasn't going to give in to him like she had always wanted too. She was with Mike, she cared about Mike and he was sweet to her, he kissed the ground she walked on. The return of Dylan McKay wasn't going to ruin what she had shielded herself from for as long as she could remember...falling in love.

Dylan stared at her as he finished his phone call with Valerie. He gave her a soft smile as he hung up. "Alright she is in; she will be here late late tomorrow night. The time change messes everything up."

Jonesy got up and slapped his hands together, "Ok well then…let's go out. I am starving, Brenda call up Olivia, tell her to meet us at Light Bar on St. Martin's Lane. It's a great pub, there isn't anything more to do tonight."

Dylan got up walking over to them, "Sure…I could eat." He said looking at Brenda.

Brenda glanced at him and then looking down, "I should go…you guys don't need me anymore anyway." She looked back up at Dylan. He sensed her hesitation, her nervousness and the fact she didn't want to go home.

"Come on Bren…you can tell me about the play, have some dinner, a couple drinks…please. Someone besides Jonesy here is going to have to have a few for me, it's only fair." Dylan gave her a half smile, the one that made her automatically want to take off her clothes and jump him. Before her thoughts got too carried away Jonesy spoke fortunately.

"Now how can you say no to that, besides…Olivia will come and that girl owes me a drink anyway. Besides we _will_ need you after Val gets here, you will be responsible for Dylan. I am going to need your eyes and ears at that hotel. She will be wired and Dylan here needs to stay out of sight out of mind. You will be watching the surveillance and writing down any hints Mr. Cavendish gives Val regarding the bank. It's going to be a slumber party ladies and gents…so Brenda…you're not off the hook yet." Jonesy smiled at her and went to the back bedroom.

Brenda took a deep breath as her and Dylan stared at one another. _Great…alone…in a hotel suite with Dylan…Valerie…and Jonesy, can't wait. _She thought sarcastically. Also Mike was going to be thrilled she was staying the night with Dylan, whether is was literally with Dylan or not. She could hear it already; she got a preview of the green monster before as she tried to explain he had nothing to worry about, Dylan was just an old friend and she cared a great deal about his sister and wanted to help. An old friend…he was never just an old friend. Whatever she told Mike was going to be a lie and she hadnt even talked to him yet. Spending the night in a hotel room...alone...with Dylan and telling herself to stay clear of all advances was terrifying to her and she wasnt exactly sure how she wqs going to do it.

_So who likes the London storyline so far? That should be interesting, maybe a little action and suspense, which is a change from my other stuff. Of course stay tuned for B/D angst and Brenda's inner battles of staying faithful to Mike. Some intense drama, bringing you back a little to the Isn't it Romantic pot throwing scene. So there is some stuff to look forward to. Please review let me know what you're thinking. Pretty please with sugar on top._


	20. Chapter 20

_So here is the newest chapter, thank you for reading and reviewing, you guys are the best. I really can't wait to hear your reviews after this one. Anyway thanks again and the next update will be on LTC, its actually done, so I just need to proof and maybe add a few things here and there, so watch out for it. Ok enough about me...enjoy!_

**Chapter 20 Isn't It Romantic…or is it?**

Brenda sat quietly at the pub while Jonesy commented on every pretty girl that walked by. She would every now and then pass glances at Dylan who always glanced back. Maybe he felt her stare, maybe he was looking too but there was always something comforting about his eyes and she couldn't help but want to look into them. She had definitely not been herself since Dylan showed up. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't comfortable either. Dylan was most definitely holding back and God knows Brenda was. A familiar voice brought a smile to her face.

"Alright…the party can start…I am here." Olivia smiled as she took off her jacket revealing a black tank top with a lace trim.

"I thought Sean was coming with you?" Brenda asked looking past her.

"Nah…he stayed in…said he had some quiz or something tomorrow he wasn't ready for yet, his loss."

"Oli!" Jonesy stood up, "You look irritatingly scandalous. Put your jacket back on." Jonesy hugged her tightly.

"Oh Jones, chill out…a few years ago these puppies showed up out of no where and now I have too much trouble keeping them indoors." Olivia smiled referring to her breasts.

Both Dylan and Brenda smirked as they looked at her and Jonesy sighed, "Kid…you're going to put uncle Jonesy into an early grave."

"That's the idea." Olivia joked.

"Thanks kid, I love you too." Jonesy took his seat again and smiled.

"Oh Jonesy…you know I love you more than hemorrhoids." Olivia smiled and leaned down kissing the top of his head.

Brenda shook her head and laughed; Dylan looked over at her and smiled. It was actually the first real laugh he had heard from her all night.

"So…what are we drinking guys? I'll buy a couple rounds."

"Scotch and soda for me." Jonesy didn't hesitate.

"Got it…Bren?" Olivia looked at her with a small smile.

"I am good." Brenda said not looking towards Dylan.

"Why…you always have at least one?" Olivia questioned her.

"I just don't feel like anything."

"Bren…you can drink in front of me, I am fine…I promise." Dylan gave her a sweet smile and crossed his heart.

Olivia smiled at Dylan and then looked back at Brenda. Brenda took a deep breath as she looked at him, she didn't feel 100% comfortable drinking in front of Dylan but it would calm her nerves. "Just get whatever." Brenda shook her head knowing that neither Dylan nor Olivia would give up.

"Ha ha you asked for it." Olivia said with a smile as she approached the bar.

"Olivia seems great." Dylan said as he looked at her making small talk. "I am glad you have such a good friend here."

Brenda nodded, "Yeah…she is a good friend." Brenda looked toward the bar uncomfortably.

"Bren?" Dylan spoke softly. Brenda looked at him, "What's in that pretty head of yours? I usually can read you but…since I been here…I have no idea what you're thinking and…" Dylan took a deep breath and leaned in a bit closer to her, "It's scaring the crap out of me."

Brenda looked away and shook her head, "A million things. You are probably getting so many mixed answers from me." Brenda looked over to him with a smile, "Your radar is in overdrive." she joked.

Dylan nodded with a laugh, "Probably." he turned serious, "Are you even a little happy to see me?" As Brenda looked into his eyes she knew he was trying to read her. She felt him look through her almost and she went with the truth thinking he would know if she was lying.

Brenda took a deep breath, "I am…but I am scared too. You make me nervous." she admitted, "My life had order and a goal and you being here disrupts it. Getting over you was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I never succeeded. Seeing you here…just proves that the second time isn't any easier."

Dylan looked at her sadly and slowly looked at Olivia as she brought over drinks. "Alright…Dylan…I hope you like coke, Jonesy…and Bren, she set down two shots and two cocktails. "Let me be the first to introduce you to the blowjob." Olivia smiled as Jonesy took a deep breath.

Dylan almost choked on his coke, "I don't think any introduction is needed." Dylan laughed and lifted his eyebrows looking at Brenda.

'Well…the shot anyway." Olivia smiled.

Brenda's mouth dropped as a smile spread across her face, "Dylan." she shook her head embarrassed.

Dylan playfully wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in close to him. He leaned in kissing her softly on her cheek as she blushed. "Sorry couldn't help myself." he whispered in her ear before pulling away.

"Yeah…I am sure." Brenda playfully rolled her eyes.

"Alright…Bren, hands behind your back." Olivia stuck her hands behind her back and waited for Brenda to do the same.

Brenda sighed and did what she was told. "So the object is to lean down, and take the shot with no hands…watch and observe." Olivia smiled.

"Ok…I'll be back…this is actually disturbing for me and that's a disturbing thought in itself." Jonesy said taking his drink and getting up. The three of them watched Jonesy approach a blonde he had been giving eyes to for the last 10 minutes.

She leaned down wrapping her mouth around the rim of the glass and lifted it back as the shot emptied into her mouth. She brought her hand to the glass and took it out of her mouth. "Your turn."

"How the hell did you get your mouth around this with no hands, it's so wide?" Brenda looked down at the shot glass.

"Whoa…déjà vu." Dylan smirked as he took an elbow to the rib cage.

Olivia laughed, "Man…I like you…alrighty Bren…show me that you are just as slutty and crazy as me."

Dylan laughed as Brenda looked in disbelief at both of them, "You guys have dirty ass minds."

They both smiled and gave her an innocent shrug. She shook her head and took a deep breath. She leaned down and opened her mouth, wrapping her lips around the outside of the shot glass; she picked it up gently and shot it back. She proudly removed it from her mouth and smiled.

"I knew you had it in ya." Olivia smirked.

Dylan smirked, "I thankfully knew already and…now I'm officially turned on."

The girls laughed as their attention went to a guy that had made his way over to the table, "Do either of you girls want to dance?"

Dylan stared at the stranger thinking he had some big balls considering either one of them could have been with him.

"Well…Bren here has a boyfriend but I would love to dance." Olivia said flirty as she got up.

Brenda pulled back her arm with a smile as she walked past her. "Last time I checked you had a boyfriend too." Brenda kept her smirk.

Olivia shrugged giving her an equally smart ass smile, "I am 19 years old Brenda…I'm not getting married tomorrow or anything…hint hint." Olivia followed the gentlemen out to the dance floor.

Brenda shook her head with a laugh and looked over at Dylan. She smiled at him as she looked into his eyes, "Olivia is crazy."

Dylan slowly gave her a nod as he kept his stare. He slowly brought his fingers up and brushed her hair behind her ear as Brenda leaned into it.

Dylan got closer to her as he saw her tense up, "I would give anything to kiss you right now." Dylan whispered.

Brenda looked down and met his stare again, "How about a dance instead?" Brenda slowly let a smile spread across her face. Dylan let out a small sigh and gave a quick nod as he felt Brenda place her hand in his. He gripped it back tightly.

Their moment was cut short, "Hey guys." Sean said with an uncomfortable smile as he stood at the table with Mike.

Dylan looked down at their hands as she let go of his quickly, "Hey." she said awkwardly, "I thought you had to study." Brenda tried to pretend Mike hadn't seen it.

"Yeah well…if I don't know it by now I never will." Sean said looking at Dylan, "I am Sean…and you must be Dylan. I have heard a lot about you."

Dylan gave him a small smile and met his hand in a handshake, "Well…don't believe everything you hear about me…everything is only half true." Dylan joked to try and lighten the awkwardness of the situation.

"Nah…only good things. You remember Mike I presume."

Dylan gave a small nod, "Of course, how you doing man?" Dylan had to force himself to be nice to him.

"Good." Mike took a deep breath as he ran his hand down the back of Brenda's head. "Hey beautiful." Mike said softly as he leaned down kissing her temple.

Dylan swallowed hard running his fingers around the rim of his coke.

Brenda smiled up at Mike, she wasn't sure if she was happy he was there or not. After seeing him smile back at her she was sort of relieved. "Come on baby, their playing our song." Mike took Brenda's hand and directed her to the dance floor.

Dylan watched sadly as Mike took Brenda in his arms and began slow dancing with her to what was suppose to be their dance. Sean's eyed Dylan, "So Dylan." he tried to take his attention away from them. Dylan looked up at him. "How do you like London?"

Dylan took a deep breath, "It's good…I have been here before but its been years."

Olivia came out of no where as she ran and jumped into Sean's arms. She straddled him and kissed him hard on the lips. Dylan watched them passionately kiss and then glancing over at Mike and Brenda. He brought his coke to his lips and took a sip as he stared at them. His heart ached for her and after setting down his drink he found himself clinching his fists.

"So Dylan I see you met my better half." Olivia smiled as her and Sean sat down.

Dylan smiled back and tried not to lead on how much he wanted to punch Mike's lights out but didn't have a real reason to do so. In reality Dylan couldn't blame the guy for coming there, Dylan would have done the same thing. Dylan looked over at her, her eyes met his as her and Mike danced closely. As they stared at each other, Dylan unclenched his fists as he realized, he was more of a threat to Mike and not the other way around. At least Dylan was pretty sure anyway.

Brenda looked away from Dylan and looked at Mike, "I am glad you came." Brenda whispered.

"Yeah…I am sorry…I hope you aren't angry at me. I just couldn't get our conversation out of my head from earlier. I'm sorry for the tone I took with you, I am jealous." Mike admitted and shrugged shyly. "I mean he comes into town and just like that…you are off helping him with whatever he needs. I know the history with you two and in reality how can I compete with him."

"Mike." Brenda breathed out feeling guilty.

"Brenda…I love you…and I know things with us are new but I do care about you a lot and even though I know I shouldn't I do trust you. I am not going to give you a hard time about spending time with Dylan or helping him with his sister. I am not going to be like that."

Brenda tilted her head as she looked at him, "You are pretty amazing." she said softly.

Mike smiled and leaned in and kissed her softly as the song ended. They parted and held hands as they walked back to the table.

Olivia got up grabbing Brenda's hand, "I got to pee." she dragged her toward the bathroom.

Sean got up as well, "I am going to get a round…you guys want anything?"

Dylan shook his head, "Nah I am good, thanks."

Mike shook his head as well. They both watched as Sean left them alone going to the bar. They looked back at one another.

Mike leaned forward towards Dylan as he sat across from him, "Look Dylan…I don't know what your intentions are with Brenda. I know she cares about you a lot and your sister. She has an amazing heart and she is the nicest person I think I have ever met. She would do anything to help you and I am ok with that. I also know that you were her first love, and I am assuming she was yours as well. I am not going to compete with that and I don't have a problem with Brenda spending time with you and trying to help you get your life back." Mike leaned even closer as his tone changed getting deeper, "But what I do have a problem with…is you taking advantage of her kindness, she is with me, not you. You had your chance and you screwed it up. And I am not going to sit back and watch you mess with her head and fill it with promises just for you to break her heart again. You two…are over. And don't think for a second I am going to lose her to you." Mike kept his glare and for a second he was proud of himself. He wasn't this guy but he could tell Dylan was so he had his chance to lay it out and that was exactly what he was going to do.

Dylan smirked as he leaned in close as well, elbows on the table, "My intentions with Brenda are none of your damn business. Me and Bren, know each other better than we know ourselves and Mike, it would be damn hard to compete with me in that department. The one thing you should know about Brenda and I…is that things are never over between us. And they won't be because we belong together." Dylan continued to glare at him, keeping his closeness, "And you can keep telling yourself that you aren't going to lose her to me, but Mike…you already have because you never had all of her to begin with. She may be in a relationship with you, but you will never have her whole heart because I do."

Mike took a deep breath and stared at Dylan. They both had to hold back from just socking each other out but both of them were actually too good to cause a scene in that pub and it wouldn't help either of them with Brenda.

Both guys leaned back at the same time and looked up at Brenda and Olivia as they stood at the table. Mike got up and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I am going to get out of here, I'll see you at home…if not then tomorrow for sure." Mike said only looking into her eyes. He knew Dylan was staring at them.

"Everything ok?" Brenda asked concerned wondering what exactly she and Olivia had walked in on.

"Yeah…everything is fine. I am tired and I guess I just wanted to see you before I called it a night."

Brenda smiled and gave him a nod. "Ok…goodnight." she said softly.

Mike leaned down and kissed her gently. He let his mouth cover her lips, gently gliding his tongue against hers. The kiss turned passionate and inappropriate quickly. And Brenda was taken back.

Dylan bit the side of his cheek as he glanced at Olivia quickly. She shook her head looking at Mike knowing his PDA was done purposely. Dylan looked back at them, with a lump in his throat; he tried to swallow it down.

Brenda broke the kiss and looked down as she ran her index finger under her lip.

"Goodnight." Mike leaned closer to her resting his forehead against hers, "Love you." He said softly but loud enough for them to hear him. Brenda looked at him oddly as he took off. Brenda looked at Dylan and shrugged as she slid in next to him.

"Ok…did I miss something?" Brenda said taking a sip of her cocktail.

Dylan smirked and shook his head, "Nope…I think someone just wants me to know you're taken and who you belong too."

Brenda lifted her eyebrow and smirked, "Excuse me…I don't _belong_ to anyone."

"Well." Dylan moved his elbows to the table and leaned in closer to her, "In that case…how bout that dance?"

Brenda smiled feeling the effects of her shot and half a drink. "Sure."

Brenda and Dylan had danced the night away. She could always count on Dylan to set aside his tough guy exterior and let loose and act goofy once in a while. They had shared some intimate slow dances but mostly they had fun. They even had a swing dancing block and they even attempted to swing dance. Jonesy had disappeared with the blonde and Sean and Olivia had left, by the looks of them making out everywhere they stood, Brenda figured they wanted some alone time before she arrived back. So it left Dylan and Brenda alone walking back to Brenda's dorm hall. The moon was full and bright and it lit up the street making their surrounding glow a bluish white.

"I can see why you like it here Bren." Dylan spoke softly gazing over at her. "It seems almost far away from the real world. Different faces, different places, I could get used to it here."

Brenda slowly looked over at him, "How long are you planning to stick around?" a question Brenda had been dying to ask him. Not sure what she wanted or expected his answer to actually be.

Dylan stopped and sighed, "Well I guess that depends on a few things."

Brenda stopped and faced him, "Like what?"

"You." He said softly looking deeply into her eyes.

Brenda swallowed hard and stared back, "You said a few, what else?"

Dylan tilted his head back and forth, "Did I say a few? I just meant one."

Brenda felt her heart beat faster and she looked away from his eyes in hopes to stop herself from doing what she had been trying hard not too.

"Dylan." She breathed out as a whisper.

"Bren…I miss you so much…just because I didn't come here sooner doesn't mean I don't still love you. I have never stopped loving you." Dylan took a step toward her.

"We should go." Brenda began to walk away from him. He gently but firmly gripped her arm pulling her back.

Then the climatic scene Dylan had a feeling was coming…came, "I was ready to give this all up for you." Brenda yelled, not an angry yell but one full of emotion as she broke down. "This was my dream Dylan, but you were more important. I would have given it up an instant and I almost did." Brenda pointed in his direction, "You have no idea how crushed I was to get that stupid letter. You telling me that I needed to go back to school and that you needed to concentrate on yourself. And then to find out you threw me away again because of a letter from a girl you didn't even know. I stuck up to my parents again for you…Brandon wasn't even talking to me. And you get one letter from Olivia and you went selfish on me, just like you did during that summer. That fucking summer that will haunt me for the rest of my life. And I only went to Paris because you said too. I knew we needed something and I saw it in your eyes, you welcomed the break too."

"Bren." Dylan took a deep breath as the emotions hit him as well. "I didn't get the letter from Olivia until after I had already got home from rehab. Me writing that letter had absolutely nothing to do what she said. By the time I got her letter and plane ticket you had written me the letter you wrote about moving on from me. That's why I didn't go." Dylan's voice became softer, "That's why I was scared, I was scared you were serious and now I come here and you are wrapped up with someone else. You just keep tossing aside whatever feeling you have for me for what? A two month relationship, you don't even know him." Dylan said rudely.

Brenda shook her head getting angry, "You have no idea what my relationship is with Mike and it's none of your business anyway." She said angrily.

"I know it isn't what we have…you can't stand there and tell me you love him more than me. I know you and I see it in your eyes." Dylan quickly wrapped his arms around her pulling her almost roughly into him. He leaned in to kiss her but Brenda pushed him away.

"I can't do this with you." Brenda broke down and took a couple steps back. She shook her head and turned covering her mouth as she cried, she ran from him toward her dorm hall which was still a block away. She had to escape him; she couldn't be there with him and not want him.

Dylan took off after her as he caught up with her quickly he wrapped his arms around her from the back in a bear hug stopping her from going further. He closed his eyes holding her against him, "Don't do this Bren…you know how much I love you…and I know you love me too." Dylan whispered as she stopped struggling a bit. He quickly turned her around and looked at her, it was a scene from their first date, but this time instead of pined up anger and frustration and fear there was passion and hurt, with a different kind of fear. Not because of outside influences but because what they had felt was so intense that it scared them. The thought of being together was scary but the thought of being apart was more terrifying. Dylan let his body envelop her as he brought her into him, embracing her tightly.

"I can't breath without you Bren, you are it for me. I can't stand the thought of him touching you or kissing you. You're meant to be with me." Dylan whispered.

Brenda closed her eyes as she broke down, trying her hardest not to cry loudly but having trouble as she sobbed into his chest. Dylan pulled away from her and took both hands placing them gently on the lower part of her face, he leaned in and kissed her relentlessly. Their lips hit so hard it ached. They both sighed so hard through their nose you could hear it. They opened their lips together moving their faces to opposite sides as the kiss became more heated. Slowly Dylan moved his arms around her back as he felt Brenda grip her hands to his back almost holding on for dear life. She grasped his back so hard she actually clutched his shirt in her hands.

They kissed passionately for several minutes. As they slowly parted, staying close to each other. Both kept their eyes closed as they lingered there with their lips almost touching, both shaken and warm, both with labored breathing as they tried to catch their breath.

They both opened their eyes simultaneously; they looked deeply into each other eyes and stood silent. Dylan leaned in again and kissed her tenderly. Dylan moved placing smaller kisses on her cheek and neck as they held each other. "Come back to the hotel with me." Dylan whispered as he made eye contact with her again.

Brenda sighed; it was like a scene from her play but it wasn't. The realness of it all set in. "I am sorry." She whispered tearfully shaking her head. She stared into his eyes as she backed away from his embrace. "I can't come back with you."

"Why not?"

"Because...I can't just go back to your hotel and make love to you. I think that it's best if we just…don't cross that line…again, you and I both know, it never works. I am in a relationship Dylan. I don't want to be that girl. I don't know what is going to happen with us…but whatever it is can't be coming from someplace dishonest. It's not that I don't want to, making love to you is always amazing, I just don't want to cheat on Mike more, I care about him." Brenda gave him a sad expression and backed away from him further.

Dylan reached out to grab her but missed her as she turned and starting walking back to school. Dylan watched her leave, he didn't call out to her he didn't try and talk to her. He was surprised and…utterly heartbroken. What did it mean? Was she choosing Mike, someone who she had just started dating over something that could potentially be forever? Dylan felt his eyes water, he looked up to the sky and blinked them away. He took a deep breath inserting his hands in his pocket and started walking the opposite way in search of a cab.

_Surprised? Agree…disagree? So don't kill me everyone but let me explain something. I personally am a Brenda and Brenda and Dylan fan. There is no one else I believe belongs with her. I think no matter what they have been through together they belong together and it only makes them stronger. Now the Brenda fan in me, honestly doesn't think Dylan deserves her just yet, not so much for recent stuff but for everything. And I'm all for making him sweat a little. Dylan was a cocky son of a gun, and he had right to be, he was smart, he was sexy and yes very irresistible. I myself would not be able to do what Bren did in this story haha. And all you guys may hate Mike and that's ok because well…we are B/D fans so naturally we want her with him. But in my opinion the show did not ever let Brenda deal with feelings with any other guy's but Dylan and maybe Stuart. Dylan got to date and hump everything in sight, but not Brenda, which I also take into fact that she wasn't on long enough but in my mind, Brenda spread her wings a little in London and Dylan deserves to hurt a little. Also Mike just may be more of a threat than he thinks. That's all I am going to say. : ) stay with me guys because B/D will be together but it won't be that easy. It is only Dylan's first day in London and hello drama…Valerie is coming. Please review or I may withhold important life saving information haha._


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 I Did It To Protect You**

Brenda set down some clothes on her bed. She was packing a bag for the weekend. She knew she wouldn't be able to come and go as she pleased once they had began the Kevin and Suzanne strategy so now that her rehearsal and classes were done she was getting ready for the much hesitant weekend. Brenda didn't know how the weekend was going to go, she wanted to help Dylan but because of what happened the night before she assumed things would be awkward with him and to add salt to the wounds, Valerie was due at Heathrow airport in two hours. Anything could happen but something told her this weekend was going to be very…very interesting. A soft knock on her door took her mind off packing. She went and opened it and saw Dylan staring back at her. He gave her a soft smile in which Brenda returned.

"Come on in, I am almost ready." Brenda without making too much eye contact allowed him entry.

"Take your time I am kind of early." Dylan said cool and relaxed as he made his way in. He looked around and sat on her computer chair.

Brenda opened up her closet in search of an overnight type bag. She felt his eyes on her and the more and more he stared at her the more nervous she became. She turned having no luck finding a bag and made eye contact with him. She looked down quickly, "Dylan…about last night…" Brenda looked back at him, she had to explain something, or say something about it or she wouldn't survive the weekend.

Dylan looked down quickly, "Bren…you turned me down once, I don't need to hear it again." His voice was filled with sadness and regret and Brenda felt guilty.

Brenda tilted her head as she stared at him, "I didn't turn you down…it's just not fair to Mike.

Dylan shook his head, "I don't want to hear about Mike." He said hardheartedly.

"Dylan, I haven't heard from you in months. I'm just supposed to dump my boyfriend because you are in town? It doesn't work like that." Brenda almost pleaded; she just wanted him to understand where she was coming. "It's not that I don't…" Brenda looked down as Olivia opened the door.

Dylan took a deep breath seeing as though Olivia interrupted, _not that you don't what_, he thought. Dylan thought about something else she had said, _she hadn't heard from him in months?_ He was the one who hadn't heard back from her. She never wrote him back.

"Sorry." Olivia said feeling guilty, it was obvious she had interrupted and her first thought was to rewind.

Brenda shook her head looking down at her clothes, "It's cool…hey…do you know where my black duffle bag is?" Brenda changed the subject.

Olivia gave her a guilty smile, "Yeah…I borrowed it, I didn't think you would mind."

"No I don't care, but where is it?"

"Sean's… I just came back to grab my Dramatic Lit book, but go on in there, they won't care and its always open, I think it's in front of the closet." Olivia looked at Dylan and smiled nicely, "Good luck this weekend."

Dylan gave her a sad smile and a nod, "Thanks."

Brenda swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "Let me just get the bag." She said quietly. Brenda left her bedroom and shook her head; she didn't know how to take Dylan. Here he was making her feel bad for having someone in her life and he hadn't contacted her in two months. He had a ticket to London in his possession and never came and now he was butt hurt. Brenda walked quickly as a million thoughts ran through her head.

Olivia took a deep breath as she grabbed her book for class, "Not going so well huh?" she gave him a sympathetic smile as she grasped her book tightly against her chest.

Dylan shook his head, "It is what it is, you know?" Dylan tried to play it cool, when in reality he hadn't slept a wink the night before. All he could think about was that kiss and the feeling of being near her again. Then Dylan couldn't stop thinking about what Brenda said. What was she talking about? Dylan wrote her more than a dozen letters in those two months. Was it possible she didn't get them?

**

Brenda knocked quickly on Sean and Mike's door. After hearing no reply she gently turned the handle and opened the door. She walked in quickly and scanned the room for her black duffle bag. Of course it wasn't in front of the closet. Brenda knelt down taking a peak under the beds, she gently open the closet and skimmed Sean's side. She moved the sliding doors to Mike's side and bent down looking around. She started picking stuff up, and moving it around neatly trying to find it and as she spotted it, she noticed a pile of envelopes. They were fastened with a rubber band around them, tucked away in the back of the closet under a bunch of random items. Brenda reached down and brought them closer as she noticed at least 15 maybe more letters all in which were addressed to her. She stood up and quickly took the rubber band off of them. She began flipping through the unopened letters, seeing the same return address on each and every one of them. They were all from Dylan.

"Hey, I am glad you're here, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to say goodbye to you before you left for the weekend." Mike said as he made his way into his bedroom. Brenda had her back toward him and she looked up and stared at the wall in front of her.

She turned around and looked at him with a blank stare. "What is this?" she said shocked holding up the stack of letters, "You have been keeping my mail from me?"

"Brenda…let me explain…"

"Explain what exactly?" Brenda raised her voice.

Mike looked down feeling ashamed, "After we started dating, things were going so good with us…but every few days another letter would come. I don't know…I didn't want you to get caught up with him." Mike really did feel like crap. He wasn't sure why he did it. Things had been going so well and they hit it off right from the beginning. He did it and felt horrible about it but wasn't sure how to tell her. "I am not a psycho or anything; I just thought that…I don't know what I thought." Mike looked down sadly, "I am sorry Brenda." He said sincerely.

Brenda shook her head grabbing her bag and letters and heading for the door, she had nothing to say to him. She almost understood why he would have thought to do it, but to actually do it was what she had the problem with. It was creepy and weird and not ok at all.

"Brenda…I." Mike cursed to himself as he quickly tried to catch up with her.

"Mike…there is nothing you can say that is going to make this ok." Brenda swung around as she reached her door. Dylan and Olivia turned and watched as Brenda sternly told him. "Just because you are my boyfriend doesn't give you the right to end all communication with one of my friends."

"I was jealous…I know it was wrong, can you at least see my side even if you don't agree with me?" Mike looked at her sadly. He had felt badly about it for over a month but didn't have the guts to come clean. "I wanted to tell you a long time ago…I just was scared of losing you."

Brenda shook her head, "Being jealous doesn't excuse it…Dylan is one of my best friends. There could have been an emergency or something…" Dylan got up hearing his name. He stood back almost on guard in case he was needed. Brenda looked down at the dozen or so letters, "I don't even know what to say…" Brenda didn't know anything or how she was feeling. There were so many letters, she had no idea Dylan had been writing her. She sighed looking at him, she was disappointed in him. He seemed so trustworthy, so sweet and caring. She realized she couldn't get yelling mad with him without looking like she cared about Dylan more than she had led on. "Just leave me alone." Brenda said quietly, she turned sadly going into her bedroom.

Mike stopped in the doorway and made eye contact with Dylan. They stared each other down for several seconds. This was exactly what Mike hadn't wanted to happen. "Brenda…" Mike said softly. Brenda had her back towards him and she set the letters on her desk, Dylan looked down at them and made eye contact with her.

"I was trying to protect you…from him." Mike said angrily giving Dylan daggers once again.

Dylan couldn't hold back any longer, "You…don't even know me." He said cool and collected taking a step towards him. "You heard her, leave her alone." Dylan said stern but calm.

"I know how much pain you caused her, I know that you were a drunk and a druggie and she went to help you. She wanted to be with you and you didn't want to have anything to do with her."

"Mike." Brenda tried to stop him.

Dylan looked down and smirked and part of him hated the fact he knew anything personal about him. "You don't know anything about _us_." Dylan rephrased.

"She wanted you to leave her alone; she wanted you to let her go. She wanted herself back and even after she told you that, you wrote her almost everyday, just to drive her crazy and I am sorry I wasn't going to let you do that." Mike kept his glare.

Brenda saw what was brewing in front of her with the guys she took a step forward, they were on the verge of pouncing and Brenda knew Dylan well enough that he was holding everything back from doing so, "It wasn't your job to protect me from him. Dylan and I were over and I was with you. You betrayed me by keeping these from me. You're right I did want him to leave me alone, and I don't even know if I would have read the letters. But that was MY choice. Not yours." Brenda raised her voice at the end, "I never gave you any reason to doubt my feelings for you after we got together."

"Really?" Mike tilted his head and looked at her. His eyes were sad but angry, something told him that this was it with Brenda and he knew he messed up.

"Yes really." Brenda crossed her arms and gave him attitude.

Mike walked toward the desk, which both Dylan and Brenda were standing by, he began moving some papers he grabbed a stack of pictures off her desk and the letter from Dylan and held them out to her, "Because girls that are in relationships always keep pictures of their old boyfriends out? Because a girl that only thinks of him as friend read their letters over and over and over again? It's not like you tried to hide this stuff from me Brenda, you know I am here all the time. Honestly what was I suppose to think? That you were going to get Dylan's letters and not be affected by them? These pictures weren't on your desk a couple days ago, then you tell me this morning you're going to spend the weekend in a hotel with him. A couple days ago when we were rehearsing lines I sat at this desk and studied, then I come in here because you tell me you forgot your play book and to my surprise these pictures are just sitting here. What...he comes to town and now you are looking at them, reminising. You can be mad at me all you want for getting involved and keeping them from you and hiding it from you. But you sure as hell haven't been honest with me." Mike dropped the pictures and weathered letter on her desk as some of them fell to the ground. He turned around walking out quickly, "Have a good weekend." He said sarcastically slamming their front door. Brenda and Olivia's theatrical masks that hung on their wall fell to the ground.

"What the fuck was that?" Olivia finally spoke up. Brenda and Dylan looked over at her and took a deep breath. "Shit…I am late. Bren…call me whenever, don't worry about Mike, he'll get over it...good luck with your sister Dylan" Olivia not having too much information moved quickly to the door rushing to class. She figured Mike was probably just being jealous and mean about Dylan being there.

Brenda looked down, her and Dylan both knelt down and began picking up the pictures. She felt his hand graze hers as he picked up one of the pictures of them on the beach before she left for the summer. He brought it closer and looked at it.

Brenda looked at him, "You wrote me?" she said softly.

Dylan stared down at the picture as he ran his finger down it gently, "Of course I wrote you Bren...and obviously you never got them." Dylan smiled reaching down and picking up more of the pictures and the letter. He took a deep breath and looked her. "God I miss this." he whispered looking back down at the pictures, "I want you back." he looked back into her eyes. "I want this back."

Brenda fidgeted nervously looking down from him. She took a deep breath reaching down picking up the rest of the pictures. They both got up slowly, "We should go." she said holding back her tears not making eye contact with him.

Dylan just watched her as she packed her duffle bag up quickly, "Bren." he whispered.

Brenda zipped up her bag and looked at him. Dylan swallowed hard and just stared at her. He wasn't sure what to say. He just didn't want her to stop looking at him.

Brenda saw his hesitation, she gave him a small smile and shrugged, "Shall we go?"

Dylan gave her a nod, he reached down and grabbed her bag for her. Brenda walked slowly to the door and Dylan looked at the pictures on the desk, he looked back at Brenda. He reached over grabbing the stack of letters slipping them into the side pocket of her bag. Brenda opened up the door and turned to look at him.

"Thanks for doing this Bren…it means a lot to me." Dylan said as he carried her bag for her walking toward the door.

Brenda gave him a nod, she looked down shyly before meeting his gaze, "Of course…I would do anything for you."

Dylan looked down at her, he had to hold back everything he had to not lean in and kiss her. Instead he gave her a smile, placed his hand on the small of her back and off they were to the hotel to meet Jonesy, drop off her stuff, pick up Valerie and check into the resort.

_Surprised? Anyone see that coming? Let me know what your thinking. : P How much do you freaking love them? *sigh* I do…a lot lol _


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 Too Many Interruptions  
**

Brenda looked around the airport as her, Dylan and Jonesy sat at the airport bar. She sipped her coke nervously bouncing her leg up and down. Brenda didn't even realize she was doing it until she felt a gentle hand grip her knee. She looked over at him as he gave her a smile.

"Seriously…relax." Dylan said as nice as possible even though the whole situation was nerve wracking and he was started to get annoyed by her nervous antics.

Brenda sighed, "Sorry…I am just nervous." She said softly gently biting the straw as she clutched her drink closely.

"You think?" Dylan said sarcastically.

Brenda furrowed her brow at him, "Let's just say the last time Val and I were in the same room together it was anything but a pretty sight."

Dylan let out a laugh, "That's right." He nodded, "In the left corner we have Brenda Walsh and in the right we have a Valerie Malone…let's get ready to rummmble…ding ding ding." Dylan laughed at himself slightly and waited for Brenda to join him.

Brenda stared at him and didn't laugh, "You aren't funny." She said with a roll of her eyes. After a few moments, "She told you?" Brenda was a little embarrassed.

Dylan smirked and gave her a nod.

"Uh…God how embarrassing…I don't know what came over me." Brenda looked down.

Dylan shrugged playfully, "I didn't know you had it in you…but I am hoping I get to catch round two cause that…is more than hot." Dylan lifted an eyebrow to her and leaned into her.

Brenda looked at him and held in her smirk, she took her hand and sternly pushed him back. Dylan playfully pouted as Brenda now was the one with the smirk.

Dylan lifted his arm around her shoulders and brought her against him. She exhaled as she felt his lips close to her ear. His hot breath tickled her as chills ran down her spine, "You don't have to fight over me Bren." He whispered. "I am here if you want me."

He stayed close to her and gently kissed behind her ear. She liked him being that close to her even though she would never tell him that. The moment was sadly interrupted as Jonesy swiveled around on the bar stool, "Where is this lady of yours?" he said gripping his beer.

Brenda sighed disappointed as she felt Dylan release her from his grip.

"She'll be here any minute…Jonesy don't you think you should lay off the liquid…I mean you have a job to do."

"Dylan…chill…I work better with a little liquid in me, believe me." Jonesy tilted his head back and finished off his beer.

"There she is." Dylan said softly seeing Valerie from a distance walking through the airport.

Brenda crossed her arms nervously and felt Dylan wrap his arm around her again, this time around her waist, resting his hand on her hip. She actually appreciated it considering he obviously knew she was jealous but she was going to try really hard not to let him feed into it. After all she was there to help him as a friend nothing more.

Jonesy whistled, "Damn Dylan…you weren't kidding she is a fox." Jonesy said with a smile getting up.

Brenda looked at Dylan and wondered what else he said about Valerie.

"I told you." Dylan said softly.

"And she knows the plan? She knows she is supposed to play my girlfriend?" Jonesy checked his breath and made a face. He reached into his pocket, pulled out some Binaca and gave his mouth a good two sprays.

Dylan leaned back confident, "See for yourself." He let go of Brenda again and moved his baseball cap down further almost covering his eyes.

Jonesy straightened out his shirt and began walking toward her. "Sweetie!" He said moving to her quickly. He wrapped his arms around her waist picking her up and spinning her around.

Valerie eyed Dylan for a moment surprised as she felt Jonesy kiss her neck. She smiled, "Hey baby." She played along as Jonesy began giving her soft pecks on her lips.

Dylan smirked and shook his head as Jonesy directed him to get her bags. Brenda set her oversize sunglasses down over her eyes and walked over to join them. Valerie gave her a smirk keeping her arm around Jonesy's waist, "Hey Bren."

Brenda rolled her eyes but since her sunglasses were hiding it no one caught on, "Valerie." She said frosty.

They all made their way out to the car and headed toward the resort. After getting checked in and discreetly making it to their suite, they discussed the plan briefly for that day, which was for Jonsey and Valerie to have drinks in the hotel bar. They would get acquainted with Suzanne and Kevin and start scheming right away.

Valerie looked around the suite, she walked out into the living room, "Where are we sleeping?" she asked directing the question at Dylan. There were only 2 bedrooms and a pullout couch.

Brenda glared at her not intentionally; she obviously wasn't over Dylan and Valerie's liaison and _what did she mean by we?_

"Well…I got a queen size bed in my room…you or Brenda are more than welcome to keep me company." Jonesy said with a raise of his eyebrows.

Dylan got up and pointed in Jonesy's direction, "No." he said sternly showing his protective nature over Valerie and Brenda. "You or Bren can have the bedroom and the couch pulls out." Dylan said looking back and forth between the two girls.

"Why don't you just sleep with me…or…Bren?" Valerie lifted her right eyebrow and looked at Brenda. "Or both?" she said as a joke. "Too bad Brenda and I couldn't just share a room, we do anyway…and boyfriends." She had to throw the last snide remark in.

"Val." Dylan warned.

"Oh wait…I might get slapped again." Valerie said mockingly, obviously she wasn't over the hitting incident.

Brenda exhaled shaking her head, she pushed herself up and walked closer to Valerie, "Do you want me to do it again?" Brenda said tilting of her head.

"Maybe we should take this outside?" Valerie kinked her head and moved closer again.

"Glad too...I wasn't quite finished with you anyway" Brenda said moving forward too, she got in her face and Valerie quickly pushed her.

Brenda shook her head moving towards her again as Dylan pulled her back, "No… ok…retract your claws ladies, nobody is going outside."

Jonesy mouth was open, "That was the hottest thing I have ever seen." He murmured.

Brenda and Valerie stared at each other as Brenda felt her eyes begin to tear up. She threw Dylan's arms off her and trucked off into the bathroom slamming the door. She didn't want to give Valerie the satisfaction of tears. No matter how tough Brenda was acting, that wasn't her and she knew Valerie knew exactly how to get under her skin.

Dylan sighed and pointed to the bedroom, "Get your ass in that room and I don't want to hear shit like that from you."

"Me?" Valerie said defensively.

"Both of you." Dylan gritted his teeth keeping his stare as Valerie huffed and picked up her bag bringing it into the bedroom. He took a deep breath with a roll of his eyes and went to the bathroom. He figured Brenda probably had locked it but when he turned the door knob it opened. He walked in and found Brenda in tears on the toilet. She wiped her face quickly. "Hey Rocky…you ok?" he gave her a smile.

Brenda shook her head, "She is such a bitch."

"Yes…Val can be a bitch but Bren, you did slap her." He closed the door and leaned against it.

Brenda glared at him, "Sure take her side, why _don't_ you bunk up with her." She said spiteful.

Dylan shook his head, "Bren…I am not taking sides, both of you have to chill out a little bit. It's going to be a long weekend if the two of you can't be civil to one another."

Brenda stared at him, "Are you sleeping with her?" she said rudely crossing her arms.

Dylan stared back getting angry, "Were you sleeping with Mike?" he said equally curt.

Brenda looked down not answering annoyed.

Dylan took a deep breath, "Brenda..." He moved toward her and knelt down in front of her. He rested his hands on her knees as she looked up at him. "No…I haven't been sleeping with her. Val and I are just friends. She is just saying that stuff to make you mad."

"Well it worked." Brenda said looking into his eyes.

"I'd much rather _bunk_ with you anyway." He spoke softly moving his body against her knees making them open as he gently placed his upper body in between her legs.

Brenda swallowed hard as she felt his hands wrap around her waist as he pulled her against him. "Dylan." She said with hesitation. "Don't" she said looking down from the look...his look. The one she knew well, very well.

Dylan lowered his head getting close to her face as she raised her head to look at him, "Bren…you know how I feel about you…I know how you feel about me. We are going to be stuck in this room together for days. You don't have a boyfriend anymore…so what's the problem?" Dylan by now was a half an inch from her lips, their noses side by side. His breath practically breathing into her mouth, she awaited his move in.

Valerie opened the door suddenly startling them as they leaned apart. Brenda looked down as Dylan looked toward her giving her an irritated look, "Yeah?" he said making her realize she was interrupting even though it didn't take a genius to figure it out.

Valerie leaned against the door resting her hand on her hip, "Jonesy wanted me to get you two. He wants to go over the plan and he just finished hooking up the equipment." Valerie said calmly without the bitchy undertone.

Brenda looked up at Dylan and shook her head. She sadly backed away from him and scooted her legs together moving them to the side getting up. She walked to the door turning her body sideways moving past Valerie as they both glared at each other.

Dylan sighed and got up looking at Valerie, "Thanks Val." He said disappointed as he pasted her.

Valerie closed the door behind shaking her head, "Get over it." She said insensitive to whatever moment she had interrupted.

Brenda was already sitting on the end of the couch as Dylan moved in next to her; Valerie sat next to him…closely. They listened as Jonesy began to explain the equipment and placement of Valerie's microphone. He went over briefly with Brenda and Dylan about the equipment and laptop. The point of today's plan was to go down to the hotel bar and restaurant and get Kevin and Suzanne's attention, have them stay for dinner and lay it on thick where they could get better trusted.

"Val…lay it on thick, I want your best flirting, I am going to spill a drink on Suzanne she will be gone for a little while, that's when you give it to him, take advantage of her not being around."

"What if he isn't interested?" Brenda said softly but loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Umm excuse me, what is that suppose to mean?" Valerie leaned forward giving Brenda death daggers.

Brenda shrugged, "Maybe he likes class." Brenda acted innocently.

Valerie stood up angrily, "That's it…I am going to kick your ass."

Brenda smirked, ignoring her.

"Val…sit down…Brenda…stop." Dylan who was between them was getting more than annoyed. It wasn't cute, it wasn't flattering and it was no where near hot like he had anticipated. "Jonesy…is there anything else we should know, before these two kill each other?"

"Nope…and Val…your dynamite, Kevin wont know what hit him." Jonesy made her smile.

Brenda rolled her eyes as she felt Valerie staring at her. "Alright…let's go." Valerie got up adjusting her cleavage and making sure her short dress showed just enough leg. She ran her fingers through her short brown hair and hooked arms with Jonesy, giving Dylan a wink before she left the suite.

Brenda sighed loudly as the door closed; she shook her head and glared at Dylan.

"What?" he said confused.

"You had to have sex with her, didn't you?" Brenda looked away disgusted.

Dylan breathed out trying to not get angry with her; he didn't want to fight with her. "I am not going there with you." He said calmly.

"Whatever." Brenda pouted as she lifted one of the two sets of headphones placing it on her ears so she could listen in on Jonesy and Valerie.

Dylan took a deep breath doing the same, the silence was welcoming. Both Brenda and Dylan were thinking the same thing, if this kept up it was going to be a long weekend.

**

Valerie and Jonesy found a table on the patio, the resort was Spanish themed and it was actually a pretty cool little place. You almost forgot you weren't in someplace like Spain. From the decor, to the food, it really made you think you were someone else. The major thing missing was the ocean but the ambiance was so good you only kind of missed it. Valerie eyed Jonesy sipping her margarita as she noticed Kevin and Suzanne from a distance coming their way. She gave him a nod and Jonesy got up suddenly turning right into Suzanne. His margarita spilled down the front of her dress.

"Jonesy…you should watch where you are going." Valerie said getting up.

"Oh man…I am so sorry." Jonesy said sincere, "Edward." He called out, "Let me help you with this." Jonesy made a fuss over Suzanne.

Suzanne sighed annoyed, "Great." She murmured wiping the margarita off her dress, "Well I certainly can't go to dinner like this." She said rudely directed at Kevin.

"Oh no…come with me, I can take care of this." Jonesy placed his hand on her back leading her away, "Edward another round…let me make it up to you." He said to Suzanne.

"That isn't necessary." Suzanne still irritated rolling her eyes.

"Well let me at least help you." Jonesy rushed them away.

Valerie sat down and smiled at Kevin, "Please…join us, let us buy you dinner…some drinks."

Kevin began shaking his head when he glanced down at Valerie's legs. She crossed them slowly, her dress hiked up high on her thigh, "It would mean so much to us if you would let us make it up to you." Valerie brought her chin lower and flashed him flirty smile. She stared at him giving him the best eye sex she had in her.

He stuttered staring back, "O…ok…sure."

"Good." She said softly bringing the straw from her margarita to her lips and taking a soft sensual sip. She watched him stare at her mouth and then run his eyes down her frame. She leaned forward setting her drink on the table as his eyes moved to her breasts, which she gently moved together making more cleavage. Valerie kept her stare until she noticed Jonesy and Suzanne walking back toward the table. Suzanne was wearing a clean new shirt that Jonesy had bought her from the gift shop.

"Come on honey, I am sure they have our table ready." Suzanne stood next to Kevin.

"Actually…Valerie here invited us to dinner." He said with a smile.

Suzanne looked at Valerie and then at Jonesy, "Yes please join us…I am so clumsy…I have to make it up to you." Jonesy pleaded sweetly.

Suzanne looked at Kevin and after a few moments they agreed. Dinner had been going well. Jonesy had done some research on Kevin and found out what his interests were, what he collected and after a few comments about it getting Kevin's attention…they were well on their way of getting in their good graces.

**

Brenda and Dylan had been quietly listening in on Valerie and Jonesy's dinner with Kevin and Suzanne. The night had been a bit awkward and both hadn't said much but a few words to one another. Brenda brought the headphones off her ears and looked over at Dylan. He met her gaze slowly taken them off as well.

"She did a really good job." Brenda said sincerely. She was telling the truth, no matter how much Valerie and Brenda were fighting she had to admit it. Kevin and Suzanne had invited both of them on their boat the following day and that was exactly what they wanted. An invitation to get closer to them and eventually get Kevin to open up about banking.

Dylan nodded setting his head phones down, "Yeah…she did. I think Kevin was more than friendly."

"Yeah…I never realized how incredibly creepy he is." Brenda said getting up.

"Yeah…me neither…obviously, I used to like the guy. Erica never trusted him, I should have known."

Brenda walked to the window and looked down at the patio. It was lit up with tiny lights and the sound of Spanish music filled the air. Brenda opened up the window and listened intently. "It was impossible to see something like that coming Dylan, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it."

Dylan walked over and stood next to her looking down. They could see Jonesy and Valerie dancing on the dance floor. Then they saw Kevin and Suzanne join them.

"This music reminds me of Baja." She said sentimental.

"Yeah…me too." Dylan said softly. They didn't look at each other they just listened, enjoying it. It was definitely not as fun being up in the suite as it could have been down on the patio.

After several quiet seconds Dylan finally looked over at her. He moved her hair behind her ear gently and she moved her head to look at him. "You think we will ever be back to that place? I mean Baja?" Dylan tone was sad and she could tell it was something he may actually be worried about.

Brenda shook her head, "I don't know…so much has changed since then. Everything has changed since then." Brenda looked back out the window.

Dylan took a deep breath as the music switched; it went from the fast Samba type music to a slow song. He reached for her hand and pulled her into him, wrapping his arm firmly around her waist and taking her other hand in his. Brenda smiled as they started to slow dance to the distant music from below. They stared into each other eyes intently, neither looking away, neither speaking. Brenda moved her arm to join her other around his neck making him pull her in closer. As they danced they both noticed the other taking a deep breath if somehow nervous, nervous to be close to one another not sure where to really go from here. Dylan leaned in closing his eyes resting his forehead against hers. Brenda inhaled him, he smelled good; it was a familiar scent of his soap and faint smell of his aftershave. It was incredible and Brenda would be able to pick it out blind folded if asked. Again they found themselves face to face, nose side by side, breath escaping practically into one another. They both leaned in and just when their lips were about to romantically meet the suite door swung open causing them to jump apart quickly.

_EEEk damn it, they keep getting interrupted. So there is more to this Kevin and Suzanne plan. Some more awkward stuff as well. I am sorry about the Brenda and Valerie fighting and it was somewhat comical to me but they will get past it eventually. I am trying to be realistic considering what happened and the age and timing of this story. Its S5 and they are still young and even though Valerie and Brenda were friends when they were young doesn't excuse what Valerie did to her, in regards to Dylan. Even if she didn't owe her loyalty Valerie still went after him on purpose. So anyway I hope you enjoyed it. Please review, Next part to this and possibly Speak Now. Absolutely LTC will be updated over the weekend as well. _


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 His Whole Heart**

Brenda and Dylan stood side by side. Slowly their arms dropped from touching as they nervously looked at Valerie and Jonesy. Valerie had a rose in between her teeth and Jonesy led her arms straight out in a tango. They danced toward Brenda and Dylan, slowly Jonesy spun Valerie grabbing her by the waist tightly and dropping her seductively into a dip, dropping her between Brenda and Dylan. Jonesy and Valerie laughed as they stopped goofing around.

"Did you guys hear my girl Val?" Jonesy said with a smile taking off his sports coat and moving toward the bar. Valerie looked down and crossed her arms. She smiled at Jonesy's compliments feeling pretty damn good about the night herself.

"Aww…it was easy with such an amazing partner." Valerie flirted looking back and forth between Dylan and Brenda noticing the awkwardness.

"Yeah…Val you did really good." Brenda said not making eye contact.

Valerie's eyes squinted, "Thanks?" she questioned, where was the sudden niceness coming from?

Jonesy shot back a glass of whiskey quickly, "Alright…I am turning in…Val my offer still applies" Jonesy lifted an eyebrow.

Valerie laughed, "Tempting Jones but I think I'll pass."

Jonesy mocked disappointment , "It was worth a try…rest your pretty little head. We got a big day tomorrow." With that said Jonesy retired to his room.

Dylan glanced over at Brenda shyly. She met his stare momentarily until Valerie interrupted for the fourth time that day.

"Well guys…I am beat. Anyone need to use the bathroom in my room…I need a quick shower to wipe the disgusting Kevin drool off my body." Valerie shook disgusted.

Both Dylan and Brenda shook their head quickly. Both sort of afraid of being left alone. All the interruptions were a welcome considering Brenda wasn't sure about all of this. They had been through so much recently and her break up with Mike was still only hours old. Dylan was the first to move. He moved over to the couch and started pulling the cushions off. Brenda watched him carefully take out the pull out. He walked to the closet pulling out extra blankets and pillows. He met Brenda's eyes and smiled.

"I'll just sleep on the floor." he muttered taking one of the pillows and a blanket in his hand.

"No Dylan…its ok…we can share. I mean…I think we are mature enough to share a queen size bed without getting out of hand…right?" Brenda questioned her words, could they?

Dylan eyes widened but his facial expression remained calm and composed, "Thanks." he smirked, "I doubt the Spanish tile would have been all that warm or comfortable."

Brenda laughed, "No probably not." she reached for her bag and began to take out pajamas, which really was just an old t-shirt. She wasn't about to strut about the room in silk men's pajamas or a night gown. She hoped the shirt was long enough though.

Dylan eyed her for awhile and then he got caught. Brenda shyly smiled as she clutched her clothes against her chest. She wasn't used to spending the night with Dylan in such a platonic manner. It was taking a lot of self control to not just hurdle over the mattress and straddle him. Her thoughts continued until Dylan spoke and she gently shook the playful sexual fantasy out of her head.

"You want the bathroom first?" he said sweetly referring to the common one off the living room. The water turned off in Valerie's room as she finished up her shower in the bedroom bathroom.

Brenda nodded, "Thanks." she started for the restroom.

Dylan watched her and took a deep breath, it was going to be hard to lay next to her and keep his hands to himself. Maybe she will let him cuddle with her, like old times. It wasn't too bad, harmless, friends could do that. Who was Dylan kidding, he always looked at Brenda differently even when they were just friends. He was always attracted to her and there was no way around that. Dylan sighed again as he realized his bag was in Valerie's room.

He knocked gently, "Val…can I come in…are you dressed?" he wondered if she was decent yet and if Valerie would actually tell him the truth.

"Yeah…come in Dylan." Valerie called out.

Dylan slowly peaked in the door pleasantly surprised to find her in her robe, moving a brush through her short hair. He had a relived look that even Valerie noticed, "Surprised?" she smirked.

Dylan moved into the bedroom with a light laugh, "Yeah…actually." he said with humor.

He kept his soft smile moving to his bag, he gently picked it up and set it on the bed unzipping it and grabbing his toothbrush. Valerie sat quiet as she casually brought it up, "So…how are things with Bren? You two looked cozy when we came in. Was that a moment of an almost kiss we so rudely walked in on?" she smiled at him.

Dylan smirked looking at her, "Was it that obvious?" he flushed slightly.

"Well…yeah kind of. Is everything good?" she wasn't sure if she cared but she asked anyway.

"I don't know." Dylan said quickly as his smile faded.

Valerie sighed, "What? Is the prude in Brenda playing hard to get?" she said harshly.

Dylan looked at her sternly, he shook his head, "Stop."

Valerie regretted it, "Sorry…I am serious though, what's the problem, obviously there are feeling there, what's the hold up?"

Dylan didn't want to get into this conversation, "It's just complicated." he answered giving Valerie the hint that it wasn't the time to get into it. "We'll figure it out."

Valerie nodded and set down her brush clearly getting the clue.

He moved toward her and sat down next to her, "Since we are alone, I just wanted to tell you how much a appreciate this…helping me…what you are doing for me…it means more than you probably know." he said sincerely.

Valerie nodded and gave him a soft smile, "No problem."

"I know its not pleasant…really…thank you." Dylan looked at her. He truly did appreciate what she was doing to help him, get his money back and more importantly his sister.

"It isn't pleasant but Dylan…there isn't much I wouldn't do for you…you're my friend and I know you would do it for me."

Dylan nodded slowly sure he would have too, he set his hand on the small of her back and gently rubbed, "I know tomorrow is going to be a whole different thing, Are you really ok with this? Being alone with him?"

Valerie turned serious, "Well…Kevin makes my skin crawl, the way he looks at me." she hesitated but continued, "It's disgusting. I mean he's old." Valerie sighed through her nose, "But if it will help I am ok with it. Again I am doing it for you."

Dylan looked at her sympathizing, he knew Kevin perverse suggestions and he was only listening. He could only imagine. "Well is there anything I can do for you? You have gone so completely out of your way for me."

Valerie slowly looked up at him, she swallowed hard thinking what the alone time tomorrow would be like. What if he actually made a move before giving her any information, would she be strong enough to play along? "You can hold me." she said softly actually frightened and nervous.

Dylan exhaled feeling badly for her. He wrapped his arm tightly around her shoulder and pulled her into him. She leaned against his chest and closed her eyes. Mentally preparing herself for the following day. Dylan rested his chin on the top of her head. He leaned down and kissed it, moving the side of his face back to it. He felt Valerie slightly cry a little into his chest and all Dylan could do was hold her and comfort her. It was the least he could do for her. He cared about her, not romantically but as a friend and they had more in common then he ever anticipated. He would be eternally grateful for this.

**

Brenda took a deep breath as she made her way out of the bathroom. Her thoughts filled with guilt at the way she had treated Valerie. She knew to an extent Valerie deserved it even worse maybe but she was still risking herself, maybe even putting herself in danger for Dylan and for Erica and Brenda couldn't forget it. She was a natural, she was actually a good at it and even though there was a hint of jealousy that Brenda couldn't be the one doing it for Dylan, she was still happy that Valerie was there. It was 100% better than having Kelly there doing it, even though Kelly was madly in love with and with Brandon, Brenda couldn't forget the past.

Brenda swallowed her pride returning her toiletries to her bag and looked toward Valerie's room. She walked slowly knowing she was about to apologize to her. She may not have owed it to her completely but she still was going to do it because that was her. It was in her nature no matter how mad she had been to make things better. Even if it didn't take away the hurt. She slowly came to the door, which was not fully open but enough to not reveal her right away. She peaked inside and saw Dylan, he had his arms tightly around Valerie, holding her, gently rocking it seemed. He moved his hand down her arm caressing it and placing gentle kisses every so often on top of her head. Brenda sighed sadly, reminded that there was more to them then they led on. Whether they were romantic or just friends their interaction was sweet and sensual…and hard to watch. Brenda closed her eyes feeling jealous as she walked back into the living room. She plopped down on the pullout and sighed again. She sadly played with the hem of the sheets thinking about them, about her and him, about the past and about what the future brought. No matter what, Brenda had no intention of leaving and dropping out of RADA. She loved it and knew now London was where she belonged for now. She had been given a chance…a break and living in L.A. for as long as she had she knew those didn't come around in the acting department everyday. Maybe she needed to let him go, so he could move on too. She still couldn't help the urgent nag of jealousy she felt. Why it was so hard to see them together, why it was so hard to see Dylan with anyone other than her. Then she was angry with him, what was really going on with him and Valerie and why was he subtly putting the moves on her if there was something more going on with Valerie. Brenda truly believed Dylan was a typical male, he would have them both, he would have them all probably if he could. If it was socially acceptable and the women didn't mind sharing. _He's sick_, she thought. _The ultimate male fantasy, so typical_. Brenda rolled her eyes irritated. She was so in tune with her thoughts she didn't notice Dylan walk out into the living room carrying his toothbrush in one hand and the black nylon handles of his duffle bag in the other. He smiled noticing the seriousness in her face, she truly was beautiful when she was thinking, he always loved that quality about her. She overanalyzed, she was obsessed and incredibly cute when she was anal. He made fun of her a lot and vocalized his irritation with it but deep down it made her Brenda, and frankly that was all that mattered.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he got her attention and smiled.

Brenda took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Everything alright Bren?" women falling apart all around him it seemed.

"Yeah…" she said short letting the jealousy expose from her voice.

"What?" Dylan said noticing something was going on.

Brenda looked at him, "I just don't get you." she said calmly. "I think I do and I think I know you better than anyone and then…I don't."

Dylan looked at her oddly, "What are you talking about? You do know me, probably better than I know myself."

"Like I said, I think I do but I have no idea what goes through your head sometimes. Your feelings…never mind." Brenda dropped it.

"Bren…you know how I feel? You know I adore you…I always have." Dylan said sincerely. Wanting to use the word love but thought revealing his adoration was more genuine.

"Just like you adore Valerie." she spat, she wasn't sure where it came from. The things she was hiding apparently. Her subconscious.

"What?" Dylan said confused.

"I saw you…with Valerie…you two looked cozy." she said still dry not looking at him. "I am sure she would keep you very warm off the Spanish tile."

Dylan shook his head, the jealousy and the bitterness with Valerie was getting old and even though he knew he deserved it, if not more than he was actually getting, he couldn't help getting aggravated because that's just how he was. He shook his head regretting his tone as soon as it escaped his mouth, "Bren." he gritted his teeth, "I am not doing this, she could probably hear us, she is going out of her way to help me and she is my friend. I have told you how I feel about you and if you don't want it…me…then that's not my fault."

"You slept with another one of my friends Dylan. I know I will get over it but I can't help but think…"

"Think what?" he said coldly as he glared at her, his eyes tight.

"That you're just a typical horny guy that has no true feeling about anything or anyone and you jump on anything that looks at you and has breasts. You only think with your dick." Ahhh Brenda thought relieved to get it out. "It was Kelly and then her…I just…I just don't get you." she raised her voice, "Do you care about anyone other than yourself? Did you ever really love me? Do you respect me at all?" she finished and braced herself for his answers or his lack there of. "I don't think you did." she mumbled looking down at the sheets she gripped nervously in her hand.

Shock, anger and frustration seeped out of Dylan and he had to take a deep breath to calm himself. "You don't think I love or respect you? You don't think I ever did?" he said more hurt than angry. "You're right then…you don't know me at all. If I didn't love you then why the hell did I write you every god damn day, knowing you never were writing me back…not knowing if you got them, read them or simply didn't give a shit about them. Maybe you should consider that…and maybe you should think about the fact that I have never loved anyone more than I loved you. You changed me entirely and opened me up. I trust you more than life itself and I know I am an asshole, I know sometimes I think with my pants but it doesn't change an ounce of feeling I have for you." Dylan's voice now was hurt, annoyed and angry. "If you don't believe me…then why don't you see for yourself." Dylan reached down into the side pocket of Brenda's bag and pulled out the letters. He shook his head irritated beyond belief and tossed them rather roughly on the bed next to her. He glared at her taking his toothbrush and moving into the bathroom. Getting away from her because he may actually be so mad he would continue the fight and truthfully he didn't want to regret saying something angrily that he didn't mean.

Brenda shocked and embarrassed watched him leave. Her eyes went to the letters as they teared up. She felt badly, she didn't know why but she wasn't sorry, she wanted to get it off her chest, her fears…her insecurity. She quickly wiped the tear that ran down her cheek and grabbed the letters, she randomly grabbed one from the middle of the stack and swiftly tore at it. She unfolded it and began to read.

_Brenda,_

_Please talk to me. Write me…call me…anything to let me know you are getting these. Even if its just to cuss me out, I miss you. I can't breathe without you. I love you more than anything. Please don't be mad me._

Brenda swallowed hard, must have been one of the last ones. She grabbed another.

_My Bren,_

_I know you want me to let you go…but I cant…I never could. You are and always will be the light of my dark and miserable existence. There is no me without you. You make my insignificant little lonely world alive. You make me who I want to be, who I truly believe I am, I can't even remember what's it like to smile unless you are around. Most of the time I have to make myself but not when you are there. _

Brenda squeezed her eyes shut and pressed the letter against her chest. She grabbed another.

_Bren, _

_I talked to Olivia today. She sent me a plane ticket. It took everything I had not to jump off this couch and throw myself on the first available flight to see you. There really isn't anything more I want than to see you. I am scared you don't want to see me. What if you have moved on? What if I get there and you are in someone else's bed, in someone else's arms, I don't think I could see that. I don't think I could take that. No…nope, no way. That may actually kill me, considering all the things I have done to myself. All the self pity and hurt and pain I cause myself and everyone around me, all the times I actually probably should have died because of my stupidity but didn't and that would finally get me in the end. Kind of funny huh? _

_If you want me to come there, just give me some hint. A call, a letter, a blank piece of fucking paper that has your return mailing address, any clue at all…and I will be on the next flight out of there._

Brenda now had tears streaming down her face as she thought about Mike, _fucking Mike, what a dick_, she should have him arrested for stealing her mail. All those nights of miserable emotional hell of thinking Dylan didn't want anything to do with her. She had no idea that these letters were arriving. So emotional and leaving Dylan stripped and exposed. She grabbed another letter wanting to actually read them all but knowing it was only a matter of time before Dylan came out of the bathroom. He couldn't be in there all night.

_Bren,_

_I can't let you go. I am trying…I am. It's like my head is filled with all these regrets with you. Are you truly better without me or can we work this out…at all? If you told me you were better I would have no choice but to stay away but until you tell me that to my face, I can't help but wonder what's going on in that pretty head of yours. The wonder overpowers the fact that you have never been so out of my reach before. Its like I can feel you there in my heart but I can't see you…I cant get to you. _

Brenda noticed the next paragraph was in blue ink instead of black, he must have came back to it.

_I can't let you go Bren…you are part of my soul…you are all that I know…I can't ever let you go._

Bren glanced toward the bathroom. She wanted to run and jump into his arms but refrained. She heard no sign of him leaving it so she grabbed one more. She took a deep breath and slowly this time running her finger through the envelope. She felt emotionally exhausted as she looked toward the floor before looking at the letter. She slowly unfolded it, taking the bottom and then the top out and there in the middle of it, taped to the page was both half's of the heart she had given him back and his half. They were fitted together in a symbolic point. There was only one sentence written on the page.

_I left my heart with you…you have my whole heart…I don't want it without you._

Brenda sadly ran her fingers over the heart. Who was she kidding the jerk had her heart too. He always had, he always would. Brenda pictured herself years from now, even if married to someone else with Dylan in her heart. He would always be in there and there was no way around it. She carefully took the heart off of the page and slipped it into her bag. As she leaned back into a sitting position she gathered her letters wanting to keep reading but had heard the water shut off and after a quick minute the toilet flush. She put them back in her bag and laid down on her side not facing the direction of the bathroom. She didn't know what to say, she knew what she wanted to do, but knew there were words she should express but what? She quickly wiped her eyes and sniffed.

Dylan exited the bathroom as he stopped and looked at her. She was laying away from him, her back to him. He wasn't sure what he expected her to be doing when he came out from his small emotional temper tantrum. Reading the letters maybe. He sighed loud enough for Brenda to hear and didn't see her acknowledge it. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, _guess she didn't read them_. He tossed his toothbrush into his bag and stood by the bed, still looking down at her. He took his shirt off and began unbuttoning his jeans, stripping down into his boxers. Dylan kept his eyes on her as he pulled back the covers. It exposed her thigh, her t-shirt lay high on her leg and showed the back of her panties laying gently on her ass. Her soft skin revealed, the round fit slant of her butt cheek staring back at him. _Was it wrong to want to spank it? Oh Jesus, nice Dylan…control yourself, she was right you are a horny typical man…or boy really. _He shook his head looking away from her appealing ass cheeks and sat down. He hoped the bounce in his movement on the bed would make her acknowledge him…nothing. He gave up, at least for tonight. Did he really think she would read the letters and throw out any insecurity she may have had with him. Wishful thinking but it wasn't going to happen. What did he really think would happen tonight? They weren't alone, it wasn't like he could make love to her right here in the living room of their suite, with Valerie and Jonesy sleeping next to them. Jonesy's soft snores lingered into the room and even the gentle movement of Valerie in her bed tossing and turning could be heard with their doors closed. The walls were thin, they would hear it. Dylan let out a short burst of air, almost a laugh at the actual thoughts that were going through his head, _what makes you think she would even touch you, other than actually have sex with you._ He snapped out of it lowering himself to his back and adjusting the blanket over him. He slowly looked over at her and then back at the ceiling. _God damn it_, he thought. He closed his eyes ready to be rejected as he reached for her. He pinched her t-shirt and pulled it slightly toward him, so slightly Dylan wasn't sure she would even get the hint…but she did. It didn't take much else as Brenda turned quickly rolling on to her other side that faced him. She threw her arm around his chest and cuddled into him, squeezing him as she settled her head on his smooth pecks. Dylan was taken back slowly dropping his surprised hand that had her shirt in his fingers and brought it around her back. He gently still shocked from her reaction from his gentle tug on her shirt, rubbed up and down her spine. He felt her leg hitch over his as her cold feet hit his leg. He smiled cuddling in closer to her as he closed his eyes bringing his lips to her hair and kissing it lightly. They both exhaled in sync as they relaxed not saying anything. Afraid if they spoke, they may jinx this and Brenda and Dylan had no intention of moving what so ever.

_**So what did you think? Sorry I am so slow, with the holidays etc etc its been busy but thinks are settling and I am just proofing LTC so sorry for the wait. I know how much some of you love that one. It will hopefully be worth it. But first things first review this pretty please with sugar on top. ;P**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**Beware this chapter is rated M…NC-17 whatever, sexual angst and language, along with some other mature material. Also beware for dirty bird Dylan. He may be my new favorite : ) Not sure if I want to let him go very easily.**_

**Chapter 24 The Pretty Kitty and the Walking Hard On**

Brenda had never been so conflicted in her life. She spent the night warm next to Dylan. It was just how she had remembered it before coming to London. He made her feel safe and comfortable, like the side of his body, her nook, was made for her. The emotional heartfelt words from his letters played over in her head. There were definitely things she needed to talk to him about but sadly it was so much easier to move into something with him without getting into it. The truth of it though wasn't realistic and it would become an issue later Brenda was sure of it. Like for instance, why get into a relationship with him when they lived in two separate countries. Would Dylan move to London, get a place there and maybe after the semester when it came time for housing re-registration she could move in with him? Wait was she jumping the gun or what? Sure Dylan had wanted her to move in months ago before he had gone to rehab but it was different now. They had both been apart, slept with other people, no matter how deeply they cared for each other, it was unlikely they would slip right back into what they were. Wasn't it?

Brenda took a deep breath, turning her back into the shower head. She let the warm water wash away her stress and worries. She had woken up before Dylan. She had shimmied out from his embrace and decided to get a head start on the day. Knowing there was four people sharing the suite and only two bathrooms. She had worried a bit about if it would be weird or awkward with Dylan this morning, but the feeling subsided quickly after realizing it was just Dylan. They would eventually have to talk about the fight and where they were at this point but they had only slept in the same bed, they hadn't had sex; they hadn't seen each other naked or anything. It was no big deal. She would act the same and they would get back to the whole basis as to why they were all there to begin with. Today was a big day after all; Valerie would hopefully have her chance alone with Kevin. Jonesy had already hacked into his network and computer and all he needed was Kevin to lead the way, log in to his account and BAM, the rest was history. Valerie could buy some time, allow Jonesy, to get back to the suite to transfer the money back into Dylan's bank account, after securing his cut of course, and Dylan would be a rich man again. Dylan and Brenda's job was to still stay out of sight, listen in on Kevin and Valerie and if Jonesy wasn't back in time for the transfer, he had showed them what to do. It would be a long day though, Kevin and Valerie had agreed to go on Mr. and Mrs. Cavendish's boat and they were going to be gone all day fishing. Valerie wouldn't have her chance to get Kevin alone until they had returned in which Jonesy knew had to be at least by 4 o'clock because Suzanne had a spa appointment thanks to Hector for supplying that information. Everything was laid out and planned and it was approaching sooner than later. Brenda finally turned off the water, reaching around and squeezing the access water from her hair.

Dylan stirred slowly. He reached out stretched and waited for his eyes to adjust to the brightness. He looked over to Brenda's side seeing it empty. He sat up slowly and heard talking in Valerie's room. _Good…maybe they are working out all the bullshit_, he thought to himself. He dragged himself out of bed and shuffled toward the bathroom after retrieving his toothbrush. He rubbed his face tiredly and reached for the bathroom door. He opened it swiftly and saw her, standing butt naked, towel to her side as they both froze. He stood there eyes traveling down her sleek petite frame. They landed on her erect perfectly proportioned light brown nipples. Then her ample round fare breasts, perky and appealing. Moving lower to her taut waist, lower to her center, soft and triangular. His breath hitched noticing it looked different since the last time he saw it first hand. An inner groan sounded in Dylan's head, _Oh fuck me…only a landing strip_, he thought and almost suddenly he was aroused, he was practically gawking at her trimmed private area.

Brenda shrieked, he had frightened her.

"Oh…sorry…ah…" Dylan stuttered trying to look away but not doing a good job.

"Dylan!" Brenda gasped realizing she was standing naked. She jumbled with her towel as she tried to cover herself. "God can't you knock?" she yelled mortified.

Dylan swallowed hard and turned away from her facing the door, a smirk fell to his lips and he took a deep breath as the image flashed through his mind again.

"Ok…Jesus Dylan." Brenda commented as she secured the towel around her body.

"Decent?" he kept his sexy smirk as he turned to face her.

Brenda nervously moved her fingers through her wet hair and exhaled, "Yes."

They stared at each other for a moment and Brenda broke the ice, "All yours, I will change in Valerie's room." She noticed his eyes shift down her body again. She rolled her eyes and with a shake of her head she grabbed her clothes and took the few steps to the door. She stopped close to him and leaned in whispering close to his ear, "My eyes are up here…pig."

Dylan nervously looked up to her eyes, "I…know that." His voice broke. "I wasn't looking." He lied playfully.

"Really?" Brenda said with a tilt of her head. She backed away from him slightly and her eyes slowly dragged down his body. There tented out from his boxers was all the proof she needed. Dylan's eyes followed hers and with a quick reaction he covered his erection with both hands, adjusting it quickly.

He shyly looked at her with a smirk and Brenda smiled shaking her head as she left the bathroom. _There goes it not being awkward_, Brenda thought as she went to get dressed. The image of Dylan standing with his erection flared across her eyes. _Shit_, Brenda shook her head, so much for just pretending everything was normal and fine, now all she was going to think about all day was wanting to see just how excited she got him under those boxer briefs, the thickness and length, the hardness…_Oh Fuck me, _Brenda thought stopping the mental picture of his rock hard appendage. _Thank god I shaved_, she thought lastly.

***

Valerie and Jonesy had been gone an hour. It was barely 10 o'clock in the morning and there wasn't anything to do just yet. All four of them would not be back on land until 4 o'clock, or close to it anyway. Dylan's focus went to Brenda as she bent over and began straightening up the small coffee table. He reflexively licked his lips as she gave him a free show. Her short white cotton dress hitched up slightly showing off the bottom of her butt cheeks in such a way that left so much to the imagination. She reached slightly down the table as it rose a little. Dylan forced the lump down his throat as it slid higher and just when he was about to see exactly what kind of panties Brenda was wearing at the moment, she reached back and pulled down her dress so she was properly covered. She held it against her butt and thighs as she finished with whatever the hell she was straightening, Dylan hadn't noticed. He cleared his throat and gently shook his head. She turned and looked at him and gave him a small smile not having a clue about what Dylan was thinking of at the moment. It consisted on keeping Brenda in that position, bent over, ass against him, with his hands firmly on her hips. Then another one had Brenda against the south wall, her legs tightly wrapped around his waist, Dylan's pants around his ankles, Brenda's dress kept on because underneath, he had easy access. In Dylan's mind the missing factor from Brenda's little peep show was the fact there was no peaking undergarments. The movie played in Dylan's mind as he took Brenda over and over up against the wall.

"Is it hot in here?" Dylan mumbled as he fingered his shirt and brought it away from his body.

"I am fine." Brenda shrugged sitting on the couch.

He let out a loud groan, "What do you want to do? I don't know what to do?" his voice was edgy and rushed. "Let's go somewhere…I need to get out of here." he said panicked.

"Relax…we can't leave…want to see if there is a movie on or something?"

He took a deep breath as she stared at him, waiting for an answer, "Sure." he mumbled running his fingers through his hair. She looked around for the remote, bending over again lifting the cushions to the sofa. There was her sweet ass again. Dylan looked at the ceiling letting a low forced someone fucking kill me laugh and glanced back at her as she pulled the remote from the last cushion. She eyes widened with a smile as she showed him she had found it. She patted the empty space next to her and turned on the TV.

She lifted her legs one at a time and lay them on the coffee table getting comfortable. The way her short dress hit her thighs, the angle in which she was sitting made the small space between her dress and her crotch seem black and mysterious. Dylan slowly swallowed again picturing the smooth triangle, trimmed and tempting again. He pictured his face buried in between her legs as Brenda moaned his name, grinding her center against his face, grabbing his hair to urge him on.

"Are you coming?" Brenda said noticing the blank expression on his face.

"I wish…but you are." he murmured.

"What?" Brenda hit mute on the television.

Dylan shook his head quickly, "Nothin." he forced a small smile and walked to join her on the couch. Dylan sat with his hands clamped in fists in his lap as he stole a side glance at Brenda as she flipped through the channels.

She laughed and looked at him, "Look…The Marx Brothers." she winked at him remembering the memory fondly and set down the remote focusing on the television.

There it was again, naked Brenda in his mind_, FUUUCK MEEEE_, his voice whined in his head. _What is she doing to me? It was only a vagina Dylan…chill…it's not like you haven't seen one before…or hers for that matter. _He cleared his throat loudly. He looked at her and she looked at him, she smiled and turned back to the TV, slowly Dylan followed his gaze back as well.

She sighed with a content smile as she moved herself on the couch getting more comfortable. She propped up one of the pillows on the arm of the couch and turned herself leaning against. She brought up her legs and rested them in my lap, crossing her ankles. Dylan looked down, her cute feet resting on his lap, her freshly painted toenails curling slightly. Brenda settled down into the couch a bit more and the movement made her heel press firmly into his massive hard on and he groaned at the friction. His dick pressed harder against the zipper of his jeans, not asking for release but demanding it. He closed his eyes trying to breath, slow and steady. He opened his eyes and tried to concentrate on the television again as she squirmed again, trying to get more comfortable. Her heel did it again this time more firmly and Dylan exhaled loudly.

"What the fuck Bren…will you stop moving?" he said it with a bit too much hostility and tone.

Brenda's face fell as she frowned, "Sorry…I was just trying to get comfortable…geez you are in a mood today, jerk." she pouted and moved her feet from his lap scooting as far from him as possible. She crossed her arms and huffed, Dylan looked over at her feeling badly for his tone and then noticed the way her tits pressed together as she crossed her arms like that. _Are you fucking kidding me? What was the matter with him?_

Dylan got up quickly, "Allllright that's it…come on…lets go." he quickly went for the door.

Brenda got up quickly, "Where? What if someone see's us?"

Dylan tossed his jacket on, "Who's going to see us? Suzanne and Kevin are on a boat. Come with me." his voice lowered with the last sentence turning his request sincere.

"Ok." Brenda nodded grabbing her coat and following him out of the hotel room.

***

The fresh air was nice. It was just what Dylan needed from his naked Brenda thoughts and his permanent hard on all morning. He took a deep breath and glanced at Brenda. She looked pretty. Her hair blowing into her face a little as she gently pushed it back. She glanced at him and gave him a soft smile. He retuned it as they looked straight ahead again. Dylan thought about it, maybe now was a good time to talk about what had happened last night. The Valerie thing, the things Brenda said to him, the letters, sleeping in each others arms. Maybe now was a good time to talk about where it left them.

"Bren…" he began.

"Oh look Dylan." She smiled and grabbed his hand, "It's like a street fair." she said excitedly pulling him toward it.

Dylan smiled and exhaled allowing her to drag him toward it. She showed a cute enthusiasm he hadn't seen from her since he arrived in London. She practically skipped to a vender and browsed through some hats. She laughed and grabbed a funky looking one and set it on his head. She laughed again, "Cute." she nodded and grabbed one for herself. "How do I look?" She posed.

He chucked, "More than cute." he looked at her lovingly.

She broke the stare quickly returning the hats and moving to the next booth. She eyed some sea glass as Dylan joined her. She ran her hand smoothly across a brilliant blue one. "It's pretty huh?" she murmured.

Dylan stood close to her side, he gazed down at her, inhaling her scent, "

Yeah…very." referring to her. He kept his stare admiring her features closely. Missing the curve of her lips, the slope of her jaw, the feel of her lips against this.

Brenda looked up hearing a familiar voice. Her eyes widened as she quickly grabbed Dylan by the sides of his jacket, backing him in between two buildings.

"Bren." he breathed out mistaking her aggressiveness for passion.

"Shhh…don't move for a second." Brenda whispered, "Oh my God Dylan…it's Erica."

It took a moment to register, "Erica?"

Brenda looked into his eyes and nodded, she kept her fingers firmly grasped to his jacket as she leaned out looking out between the building again bringing him slowly with her. There she was three feet from them, at the same table, Erica was admiring the same sea glass Brenda had just been admiring. Dylan edged forward but Brenda pushed him back, "Wait." she instructed. Then peaked again watching a women approach her.

"Erica dear are you almost ready?" she asked.

Erica sighed loudly, "No." she said coldly, "Give me a second, I am looking at sea glass." she said with attitude.

The women rolled her eyes, "Fine five minutes…stay right here, I'm going to find Adam, don't move." she said sternly.

Erica mocked her and rolled her eyes as the women disappeared a table down.

"Pssst." Dylan whispered getting Erica's attention. "Erica." he said quietly.

A wide smile spread across her face, "Dylan! Brenda!" she said happily.

"Shhhh sweetie." Brenda said returning her smile. The woman was still in view.

"Oh my god Dylan…I thought I would never see you again. Did you come here for me? Gosh I missed you so much" she whispered keeping her eyes on the sea glass.

"I missed you too…you look so grown up so…pretty." he whispered emotionally grabbing on to Brenda's hand.

"I hate it…I hate how they took me from you. I knew you would find me. Take me with you Dylan…please." she begged.

"I know sweetie, I want that too, how many of them are you with?" he asked keeping his eye on the woman.

"Just Whitney, my mean nanny and Adam, the butler."

Brenda scowled, _the butler? Of course they were "rich" now. _She rolled her eyes.

"I am going to come and get you." Dylan said emotionally, he had missed his little sister so much.

"Be careful Dylan…they know who you are." Erica's tone turned worrisome. "Here…" she took a brilliant green piece of sea glass out of her pocket and slid it to the end of the table, "I collect it…it's my favorite one." she said sadly. "Don't forget about me Dylan…come back for me…promise?" she said with tears in her eyes.

Brenda's heart broke as she squeezed Dylan's hand, "I promise kid…as soon as I can." he whispered holding back his own tears.

Without notice Adam and Whitney appeared, "Come on Erica." she grabbed her hand as Dylan and Brenda quickly hid themselves again.

Whitney pulled her toward the direction Brenda and Dylan were in and Erica pulled her hand back. "I thought we were going this way." she said worried Dylan would be seen.

"No…we have to go back, you have a ballet lesson in an hour and I told your mom I would have you back in time." she said sternly grabbing her again and pulling her more roughly in the direction of the space between the buildings.

Brenda thought quickly as she pressed herself into Dylan, pushing him against the wall. Her mouth caught his in a hungry kiss hiding their faces away from Erica, Adam and Whitney.

The three saw them aggressively making out again the wall. Brenda moaned loudly running her hands up Dylan's chest forcefully as Dylan gripped Brenda's ass with a groan pulling her into him.

Erica giggled covering her mouth, "Well I never." Whitney huffed covering Erica's eyes and pulling her out of the view.

After several moments when Brenda knew it was safe she broke from the groping, "Ok…I think its safe." she whispered. She turned and bent over to peak, looking in both directions to make sure the close was clear.

Dylan's eyes were filled with lust as he grabbed her around the waist again pulling her back into him. He growled, _she was a scandalous, a shameless cock tease_, he gripped her ass again, wanting to punish it for being so appealing and perfect. He pushed his lips against hers again, sweeping his tongue gently across hers. Brenda smiled and pushed him away, she laughed and pulled her dress down to properly cover herself, "Come on lover boy." she mumbled looking down at his enormous erection again, "Pig." _Ugh I want it,_ she really thought. She said it with a chuckle as she reached grabbing the seas glass with one hand and him with the other. She continued on her way pulling him back to the hotel.

**

It was about 3 o'clock and Brenda and Dylan huddled together on the couch over the computer as they both listened in with their headphones. They listened as Jonesy and Kevin went on and on about the fish they had caught and Valerie and Suzanne chatted about the local shopping. Brenda took a deep breath as she stretched. Dylan eyes went to her chest as it moved closer to him. Brenda stretched her neck and began kneading her shoulder. She let out a moan and Dylan shut his gaping mouth. Dylan jerked as Brenda caught his ogling eye and knocked a glass of water to the floor. The glass fell between them but not before spilling all over Brenda's lap. She jumped at the coldness pulling the headphones from the adapter and the background noise and Kevin's voice filled the room.

"Oh shit Bren…I'm sorry." Dylan got up quickly grabbing a towel from the bathroom. Brenda had picked up the ice and cup from the floor.

"It's ok Dylan." she said allowing him dry her.

He gently patted her lap and Brenda opened her legs slightly resting her hand over his on the towel moving it to where it needed to be dried. Brenda's breath caught as she felt the tips of his fingers graze the crotch of her panties as he dried her thigh. Their eyes slowly lifted to one another. Lust lids, filled with want and need burned through one another. The intense stare made them explode with arousal and Brenda squeezed her legs together to relieve the want with friction. "Thanks." she took the towel from him.

Dylan kept his eyes on her and nodded slowly.

"I should change." she smiled looking down at her white dress now completely see through. She rose to her feet, the dress wet from the water clung to her body and Dylan was face to face with the black lace panties that had been a mystery all day. The cotton dress now so see through you could see the exact lace pattern. His breath caught as the pictures he had been fighting all afternoon played vividly through his head and without even thinking his hands were on her hips as he looked up at her.

"Dylan?" Brenda looked at him oddly.

He rose slowly, his stare burning though her again , keeping his hands on her hips gripping her strongly. Without a second thought he leaned into her smashing his lips against her again. Brenda melted into it as he pulled her body against him. His hands moving down her ass greedily. Brenda moaned against his lips as he lifted her around his waist as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Their kisses were hungry and passionate letting go the frustration that they had both been keeping in. Dylan grinded himself against her heat groaning out in relief as he rubbed his length against her. He didn't want to move her to the wall where he had fantasized earlier or to one of the bedrooms, he wanted her now. Keeping her straddled around him, he lowered her to the couch, setting himself between her thighs. They continued to kiss belligerently, letting out pants and moans with every movement. Dylan lowered his lips to her collarbone, dragging his tongue, tasting her, up to the back of her ear.

"Dylan." Brenda breathed out.

"You have been driving me crazy all day…flaunting your perfect ass and practically bald pussy in my face." Dylan's voice seductive and husky groaned against her ear.

Brenda pulled back and looked at him shocked. _Oh shit…is she disgusted I said the P word? _Dylan thought. _Had I never said that in front of her before? Surely I had?_

"I'm sorry Bren, I didn't mean to offend you its just…" Brenda leaned in and kissed him silencing him letting out a sexy groan.

"Fuck that was hot Dylan." Brenda breathed in between kisses and Dylan let out a grunt as her hands rubbed his bulge in his jeans.

Not letting another moment pass, Dylan leaned up from her and gripped the sides of her underwear pulling them off in one swift motion. Dylan looked down at her naked lower half and exhaled softly with want. He stared into her eyes and he unfastened his jeans, pushing them off finally letting the cramped erection escape. He buried his face within her doing the things he had fantasized about, feeling the smoothness of her folds, hearing the moans of his name escape from her lips. Brenda's hand gripped the back of Dylan's head as she pushed herself into him.

"God…Dylan…don't stop." Brenda moaned.

Dylan smiled against her, she was beyond hot right now to him and at this point hearing her moan his name and squirm under him was enough to last him a lifetime.

Brenda wanted more, she needed more, she urged him up and after a bit of force he obliged. "Dylan…" she exhaled.

"Tell me what you want baby." Dylan breathed out kissing against her neck.

"You know what I want." Brenda breathed back.

Dylan smirked at her lining himself at her entry, he twitched and moved himself against her. "Say it Bren." Dylan asked seductively.

Brenda exhaled feeling him so close, "Fuck me Dylan." she whispered huskily.

That's all Dylan needed to send him over the edge as he plunged himself into her, both moaning out from the contact. Dylan may have gotten a few deep thrusts into her as the front door of the hotel room swung open.

_**Soooooooo was it worth the wait? Why the hell do these two keep getting interuppted? Did you like dirty naughty boy Dylan? Who is at the door? And what have they missed not listening to Kevin and Suzanne? Send me your thoughts so you can find out asap : D Also the title for this chapter, the pretty kitty, I had to tell you, it's a place here in my home town that does waxing HAHA They specialize in bikini waxing and I thought it fit hahahah I am sick and twisted I know. Lol REVIEW REVIEW I am getting back into my Brenda/Dylan groove. Feed me my inspiration so I don't stop again hehe There's that bribery again. Next up the conclusion to Suzanne and Kevin saga and some action.**_


	25. Chapter 25

**HAHA Hi everyone! Looky what I have for you today. I'm not sure who is still reading, I'm not sure who still cares but I have a chapter! Anyway no excuses, just life but I had started this ages ago and finished it up so I could post it. I apologize if there is a lot of errors, I read and re read it a million times but decided to give it to you. I owe you and its about time.**

**Chapter is rated M for mature. Last chapter we had Dylan drooling over Brenda's pretty kitty and finally they let their passion come to light. But someone is at the door...enjoy!**

**Chapter 25 All things that go up…Must come down**

Brenda and Dylan froze intertwined in passion, connected intimately they laid still. There wasn't even a second to move quickly as they saw who had interrupted their rendezvous on the couch.

"Housekeeping…Pardon me…I'm sorry…excuse me…I'm sorry." The maid uttered humiliated. She backed out quickly and they heard the door click shut.

Relief washed over them, it was better to get caught by the maid then Jonesy or Valerie. Brenda and Dylan smiled at each other as the realization hit and calmed them.

"Where were we?" Dylan whispered seductively leaning down and gently capturing Brenda's bottom lip in his, sucking it gently. He began to move with in her again. This time much more slowly than the passion ridden invasion he had bestowed upon her earlier. He took his time finding a middle pace that worked well for both of them.

"Dylan?" Brenda breathed out knowing they should stop but not wanting to.

"Hmmm?" he hummed to her, keeping his pace as he kissed down her neck. "God." Dylan breathed out, "Do you have any idea how much I missed you?"

Brenda didn't say anything. She debated back and forth about stopping. It had been a mutual take down as the sexual tension became to much to take but now it felt like it wasn't the right time, at the same time she had missed him too. She knew this wasn't right but to stop in the middle was easier said than done. Especially because she hadn't felt this good since the last time Dylan and her had been together. Her body felt warm and tingling. His kisses were sweet and passionate. The things he whispered into her ear melted her heart. His hot breath against her now sticky body made her breath hitch. The feel of pressure building between her thighs made her moan with pleasure. No one made her feel as good as Dylan and now having been with someone else only confirmed it.

"Baby…I love you…I love you so god damn much…" Dylan moaned into her ear.

"Dylan…we need to stop…this isn't right…" Brenda moaned out as she felt Dylan lower his hand and started circling her center with his finger tips, "Oh God…don't stop." she cried out.

Dylan chuckled against her lips, "You really want me to stop?" he whispered seductively, "You don't sound so sure." Dylan picked up his pace slightly, feeling her pants and moans heighten. He enjoyed her sounds more than she knew. Keeping a faster pace Dylan felt Brenda come undone as he joined her. Dylan lowered himself beside her on the couch.

"God." Brenda breathed out trying to catch her breath. "That…was…incredible."

"We are incredible together…we always have been." Dylan said softly as he played with her hair.

After several moments Brenda got up in search of her panties, shortly after Dylan followed. He had a goofy grin on his face as he watched her dress. His smile faded quickly as he realized, "Oh shit Bren…I'm sorry I didn't…shit. I was just so turned on…I didn't think about using anything."

Brenda smiled and shook her head, "It's fine…I'm on the pill." she said nonchalantly as she straightened out her clothes.

Dylan froze, "The pill? Since when?" he continued to stare at her. His tone made Brenda look up at him.

"Ah…I don't know a few months I guess." she said as she stared at him.

Dylan's face reddened as he clenched his teeth. "You were sleeping with that guy?"

Brenda's mouth dropped, shocked Dylan would even ask considering what she knew about him and Valerie. "You're one to talk." she said as she walked away from him.

"I don't even know you…you date that idiot for what two months and you are sleeping with him…enough you put yourself on the pill?" His voice loud and angry. "We were fucking for years and you never went on anything, you even said no and called me selfish when I asked you too." his tone thick with jealousy.

Brenda stopped and looked at him, "Fucking? Really? Is that all I am to you? And now we are here in the same room together again and you are fighting with me about the pill and whether or not I was sleeping with my own boyfriend? You have a lot of nerve…it's NOT your business anyway." Brenda walked over brushing past him as she grabbed her jacket. "Thanks for making me feel like a complete slut."

Dylan took a deep breath, "Bren…wait…where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here." she yelled as she roughly grabbed the door knob swinging the door open and slamming it behind her.

"Brenda." Dylan yelled after her, "Fuck." he ran his hands through his hair roughly.

Dylan had barely listened to Valerie and Jonesy as he sat there. He worried about Brenda and wondered where the hell she had gone. Had she gone back to school and just said to hell with him? Hearing Brenda was sleeping with Mike had set him off. He didn't mean to act like a jealous cave man but a part of him was always happy no one else had ever been with her. He would never tell her that but it was true. He tried not to think about the condom-less sex they were having and how often…it was driving him crazy.

Brenda walked around the shops looking at nothing in particular. How dare Dylan act like that? How dare he shout and act like a jealous boyfriend when his disloyal past exceeded anything Brenda had ever done in her life, especially to him. He had cheated on her with her best friend, then after everything they had been through, how much they had at one time loved each other he had choose that best friend over her. He flaunted it in front of her face and forced her to have to deal with it. It was either that or find a new group of friends and Brenda was NOT going to do that. Not only that she continued to be a shoulder to kelly in her relationship issues with Dylan and listened and comforted her even though she couldn't care less what they were going through. She continued to love him and stand by him through it all. Then she was hit with the news that he was sleeping with Valerie, a long time childhood friend. She gave herself to him completely and after not hearing from him for months, in which was no one's fault except Mike's, she moved on…or tried too. She had done nothing wrong.

Brenda grunted out as she tossed a knick knack down onto the table in frustration. As she huffed and turned to go back towards the hotel she ran right into a familiar face. She looked the same, a pretty face but older than she last remembered. Hair a golden brown, set up in curled tendrils. The woman's shocked face turned into a half smile.

"Brenda…it's been a long time."

Brenda smiled and gave forth her best performance, "Suzanne…what a great surprise…what brings you to London?"

Suzanne kept her calm demeanor, "And here I was about to ask you the same question." She laughed an obvious fake laugh and moved closer to her. Brenda stepped back and suddenly felt anxious.

"I live here actually, been here since summer…" Brenda played it off as best as she could. Suzanne stared at her. Brenda could only assume it she was trying to read her, to see if she was lying but she stood her ground.

"Have you talked to Dylan?" Suzanne asked with venom in her tone.

Brenda shook her head and shrugged, "No…we lost touch…I actually haven't been in contact with anyone from California." She paused, "You?"

Suzanne squinted her eyes a bit, "Of course…but with all the traveling we have been doing it hasn't been as much as usual." She lied.

Brenda smiled sweetly, she wanted to get the hell out of there as fast as possible to go back to the hotel and tell Dylan. "Well…it was nice seeing you…I should be going." Brenda tried to move past her as Suzanne grabbed her arm roughly.

"So soon?" she clenched her teeth as she dug her nails into her arm. Brenda tried to pry her arm away but Suzanne turned her so her back was against her. "I don't believe you." She hissed into her ear.

Suzanne motioned to someone Brenda did not see and within a moment a car was there. She was pushed into the back seat, her face hitting the leather seats. It happened so fast and as Brenda sat up and looked out the windows she realized all that had happened with no notice from anyone else. She glanced down at the door handle, the wheels turning in her head thinking of an escape plan. She slowly reached for the handle but before she even touched it, Suzanne turned around from the front seat.

"Don't even think about it." She said as she pointed a hand gun at her. "You forget Brenda…I know you and Dylan well enough. There is no way you haven't been in touch with him. I saw first hand the way you guys acted around each other. He might have been with that little bitch Kelly…but everyone knew you had his heart."

Brenda eyed the gun, the small hole seeming too close to her for comfort. Flashbacks of looking down the barrel of the shot gun when she was seventeen at the pit played over in her head. She didn't say anything as she headed into the unknown. She only hoped that wherever Suzanne was taking her was where Jonesy had bugged; also she could hope that even after her and Dylan's fight…he was still listening.


End file.
